Karma Is A Bitch, Only If You Are

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Karma Is A Bitch only if you've done something bitchy. It'll fuck you up eventually because what goes around comes around.

Submitted: September 09, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 09, 2012



Life has become hectic now, college has commenced & everything seldom comes to a standstill, I am immersed in my books or my own thoughts, which are always about some other people, some other issue, some other incident, some other..

Meaningless little thing.

Which bothers me throughout the hours of day, leaving only the nights for myself.

Long, unending, frightening nights.

That's the time when doubts engulf me, and my thoughts change color, from a bright red to darker, bloodier stains, to depressing blues and sometimes, stark nothingness.

People around are so indifferent, shouting about, yelling at me, "How're you?" I simply force a convincing grin & yell back, "All fine!", and they don't even seem to notice.

My mind is numb & my thoughts are, fuzzy, dislocated. Uncertain, along with little sparks of hope.

Hope which keeps me alive, nudging me to shove food down my mouth & wake up every morning to face the monotonous ordeal over and again.

Things are good again, but there is an emptiness which wouldn't go. He being so far away adds to the feeling of loneliness, I sometimes can't sleep without listening to his calm, soothing voice singing lullabies, lulling me to sleep, making me feel warm and protected.

The person who existed before him, leaves me aghast.

Shock hits me now and again, and I can't comprehend why.

"Why am I even surprised?" I ask my reflection, combing my hair, which falls about in messy curls. And I go on, "He was a part of you, and when he left, he carried it with him.

He is hurting you on purpose, he won't let you live, he just won't.

Maybe you never imagined he could stoop so low."

No, I didn't. I curl up and give myself up to the tears which trickle down and don't stop, and welcome that tightness in my heart, which almost threatens to strangle me.

So much for loving someone.

Because when he was hurting me by his words, I could have said a million things too.

But I knew it would hurt him, so I let him hurt me instead.

But he is the past which I have let go, cause its pointless to cling on to a ghost.

I shudder when the memories come flashing back. When the nightmares make me scream and wake me up in the nights.

He haunts me, even today.

I am not weak, I have found my foothold, and I will fight back.

All those meaningless people for whom I cared, got stabbed and who walked away.

Even if I don't succeed, it won't matter much.

Cause karma will.


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