I miss you. I miss the way you used to hug me around the waist. I loved.
I wish You were here. Because I miss you. But i'm afraid it isn't possible now. I am eighteen and you are fifteen. I love you. I figured it would be easier to put it in a letter than to tell you face to face, and honestly I can't see you again. Look I'm sorry. You've been stupid too. You cheated on me. You need to just leave me alone. I don't want to have to deal with it. I am currently getting ready to leave to the training center. Don't ever text me again. Don't try to get ahold of me. Just leave me alone. I have to much on my mind to worry about playing your games. Just... make this goodbye. So... Goodbye.
I want to... I just want you back. Please forgive the letter above. I was angry. I just... I'm sorry. Do you want me to be with you still? I know it isn't possible because of the age difference and your dad and everything, but still... Do you still want me to wait for you? We said forever. You didn't lie to me about that too did you? I'll stop now. This is really sad for me to write, you know?
Just forget it okay. Just forget we ever met. Forget that I gave you my heart and he broke it... I may be the guy in the relationship, but it hurts anyway. I cry. Just because I'm the guy doesn't mean I should have to be the strongest. I'm keeping my head up high. I am going to the army and if you still don't like my plans, then I hope you find what you're looking for in a guy, because obviously I wasn't it. You can send me a letter to home and Cody, my oldest brother who comes to the house every month to check on mom and dad, said he would send it to me at training. How is Libby? She is OUR baby, please let her know her daddy loves her. I will see her when I am back. You can't keep me from her, I hope you know that. I'm sorry Alex, but I can't do this anymore. You and your dad made that obvious. I don't think he liked me before Libby was born, let alone after. I wonder if you ever meant what you said. If this is forever, it sure isn’t a very long time. I can’t trust you anymore. I told you everything would be okay and you made that turn backward. It’s awful, actually. This is hard to write because I have mixed emotions about everything. I love you for being my baby’s mom. I love you for being the best girlfriend until that one night... I hate you for breaking my heart. Hate you for lying to me. Hate you because your dad hates me... Just let me know what is going on please. I need to know because not only do I still have mixed emotions about you, but I am that way with Libby too. I want everything to do with her because she’s my baby, but she’s also yours. And... I don’t know Alex. I’m going in circles. I guess if you want it to be this is goodbye
X Jeff X
Jeff was at training for another month before he got a letter from Cody. It read:
I know I screwed up, I know you hate me. I know you hate Derek because I cheated. I was wrong. But that shouldn’t stop you from living your life. You should talk to Derek, it was my fault. I led him on. I know you don’t want to but... Just let him apologize. He had your back. When Libby was born he was there when you wanted to give up. He tried to make things right. He told me he never wanted to see me again after you found out. Don’t let my wrong get in the way of your right. Go into the army. Be the bravest soldier out there. Get where you have dreamed about forever. I have faith in your dreams. I will tell Libby you love her. I will never tell her she has a different daddy. She has a right to know. If she wants to see you I will not stop her. You are the strongest guy I know. You cry. So do I. It doesn’t make a difference. Tears show you care. I know you do or you would have never written me that letter. My dad has never really liked you. But what does that matter? My dad doesn’t like anybody. I don’t want to forget what we had. I know I owe you something. Something for being there and not leaving my side when my dad would raise his voice, telling you to leave. I owe you something for holding me when I cried telling me you’d never let me go, and it would be okay. I owe you for being there when Libby was born. I just.. I love you still... I don’t want you to leave. I am sorry, I know an apology doesn’t mean anything at this point, and might never. I just want you to know if I could take everything that happened in the past 6 weeks back I would. I am... I just... Wish it was as easy as kissing things better....
X Alex X
Jeff was surprised she even wrote back. He didn’t know what to say. He was confused. Wanting her back because she was always there for her. Always making things okay when they were actually falling apart right in front of him. But wanting to tell her to forget him because she lied and cheated on him with his best friend... She was everything he looked for, he thought. Not knowing what to say he decided not to answer. Jeff never took his leaves after that, just staying at the training camps. There wasn’t a reason to go back. Libby didn’t even know him. She would probably try to get Alex and her back together. He found he didn’t want that. He was never going to trust another woman. The one he trusted with his whole heart made it shatter on the ground. Not caring if he were drowning in his own blood or not. Life went for about two years with no phone calls or letters to home. None to Alex. None to talk to Libby. Nobody outside of camp knew where Jeff was. Nobody knew if he was still in the army. Nobody knew if he was married. And worst of all... Nobody knew if he was dead or alive... The last letter he sent was to Alex. Soon enough, there was a rumor going around town that Jeff had killed himself because Alex didn’t love him anymore. Because she told him she didn’t want anything to do with him in her letter. She told him that Libby would never know who her daddy was. Derek knew it was wrong. Jeff would never kill himself over Alex. And if he did... Apologizing wasn’t and option anymore. Not that Derek thought that was an option to begin with. He owed Jeff so much more. There wasn’t a way to explain how wrong he had been. Derek heard the rumor one more time and that was enough for him. So what he did was called the base and asked to talk to Jeff. They put him on the line...
Derek: Jeff! Um... This is Derek... Look I know you still hate me and everything, but everyone here has been spreadin-
Jeff: Look, I’ve heard the rumors and the reason I’m not responding is because I know where I am and if they don’t thats their problem. Nobody is to worried about it anyway. I haven’t got a call from anybody in two years Derek. Why are you calling now?
Derek: Because... Because I care. And I know it doesn’t even begin to cover it, but I’m sorry. And Ale-
Jeff: Don’t even say it. I don’t give a care how sorry you two are, I can’t forgive either one of you two. Thats why I’m here and not coming back there.
Derek: I understand. I just thought you would want to talk to Libby.
Jeff sat there for awhile wondering why Derek hung up. Was he mad because of what he said about Libby? For the past two years he’s wondered why he hadn’t heard from Libby or Alex. For a long time he wondered what Libby looked like and how she acted. Was she as beautiful and funny as Alex was? He already knew, no matter what she’d be the cutest damn baby ever. Just because she was her mama’s. He thought about how he hadn’t let derek even say Alex’s name... How he could have said almost anything after that. Like And Alex is dead, And Alex still loves you, And Alex wants to know why you never replied. He could have said anything. But that first idea hit him hard in the gut. The next time he got off of the base for the week he went to his parents house. He walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. Hands sweating, nervous, wondering if they even still lived here. Then his dad answered the door. Old and brittle looking his jaw dropped and ran to hug Jeff. His mom came out crying. Later that night after supper, Jeff told his parents he had something he had to do. He walked to Alex’s house. When he got there he found it had been re-modeled. He went up to ring the doorbell. And the one and only Alex answered. In 2 days she would be eighteen. She still had that beautiful glow that Jeff found in her everyday they were together. She had little Libby attached to her at the hip. The first thing Alex noticed was how much he had stayed the same. He reminded her of “the old” Jeff. The one she missed so much. Her baby’s daddy. She didn’t know what to say.
Jeff: Hey.. Um..
Alex: Woah. Jeff I thought I would never see you again.
Jeff saw the tears running down her face and knew instantly she never stopped loving him. She meant what she said in her letter. She wanted him to do what he had to to succeed.
Jeff: I um... I know. I wanted to come back. Derek called me... I was mad.. He started to say your name and... I well... I cut him off. I was still mad. I wanted nothing to do-
For the first time in just about three years Jeff was sure somebody cared. Alex’s kiss reminded him what should be the most important thing to him in the world. Why he was here. He had a daughter. Libby needed him. He needed Libby. Alex needed him... And he finally understood for the first time in a long time, he needed Alex. So when they split apart, he got down on one knee and said “I know you thought I was mad at you, and I was. I wanted nothing to do with you, but when I got here and saw Libby and you... It reminded me of how much you guys need me. Libby does need a dad. I need something to stay around for. You need a husband... And I need a wife. Alex, I forgive you. I also love you with all my heart. Will you marry me?”
Alex: To make it short and sweet, of course I will baby! I’ve been waiting for this day. I can’t believe you finally asked. Remember I still owe you. And now, I will be yours for the rest of our lives<3 Forever really meant forever.
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