There is no real category for my writing. There is only me. Me. I stand here today wondering who that stranger really is. I know she is sad. She is also confused. She is wanting help, but nobody is there to give it. There are things standing all around her. They resemble herself. But they are shadows to her. They are not real, as everything seems to be. She wonders if she's still alive. So she tests it. That razor so sharp, so clean and scary looking. She lowers it to the inside of her arm... Slowly pushing it into her skin. And as her arm stains red, she realizes how real it is. The way her dad had pushed her around the whole time... The way he had yelled in her face. It was all real. He meant what he said. She knew he was right. She was worthless... She felt hopeless. And he was right when he said she couldn't be fixed. She was broken. And no matter how much she wished she had somebody to help, there wasn't. Nobody understood. Nobody believed. She went to school everyday. Wishing somebody would notice the bruises when she took her hoodie off. Hoping they would send her to talk to the guidance counselor. Maybe someday she would be bruise and scar free.
And he would notice her.(: He would hold her and tell her everything would be okay. He would never hurt her, never leave her either. But she was daydreaming there. Why would he, Somebody who is caption of the football team, notice her? Someone who cuts herself over nothing. Someone who has bruises all over. Someone so pathetic. A girl who only wants to be okay, and can't even have that? She'd never even been to his games. At lunch she sits alone. She has no friends because her dad doesn't let her go out.
This is Ally-
One day she was sitting in English when a girl walked in. She was short, auburn hair, and as her teacher, Mrs. Levi introduced her, a freshman named Ally. Ally was wearing a pale pink, long sleeved shirt, and grey sweatpants. She looked like she hadn't slept in weeks.
Ally and my story-
She sat down next to me. After english she walked next to me to our next class. We went to the same place. She talked to me. She told me she was 15, from my town. Eventually, she wanted to know if I wanted to come over to her house. I asked my dad... He raised his voice saying he didn't even know this girl, so why should he let me go? I tell him I am sorry and go to my room. About an hour later he walks in and tells me to go. At Ally's house an hour later, I notice how clean, and healthy her house looks. Her mom is so nice and her dad is out on the road. He drives a semi. We hang out and talk a little. That night Ally went to the bathroom to change. When she came back she was in an undershirt. I had noticed before how she almost always had a long sleeved shirt on. Now I know why. She cuts. She has stitches. She has bruises on her arm from hands. She's wearing shorts. She has a bruise from a boot on her leg. I ask her about it. She says it's nothing. I tell her everything. From how my dad treats me to him.(: And she finally opens up. She tells me That when her dad isn't on the road he hits her. Kicks her. She cuts because she feels so worthless. Hopeless. Then I realized. She is me. Better at hiding things, but she is still me. The next day is Sunday. I live through it, doing my chores and more to make my dad extra happy. When he got home, he saw that my hoodie hadn't been hung up. I tell him I was going to put it on. He grabs my arm shaking me, telling me not to be such a smart ass. Asking why I am so stupid and can't do anything right. Well after he was done I went to the bathroom to get my razor, slashing away at my wrists. Wishing I wasn't alive. Wishing I could cut just a little to deep. That was Sunday. Monday morning I found Ally crying in the bathroom. I asked her what happened. She told me her dad came home Sunday night, raging. Apparently her mom had been cheating on him. He shot her and buried her in the back yard... He told her that he'd kill her too if she told anybody. He told her he would slit her throat and burry her with her mom, and nobody would bother to come looking for her, because everybody hates her anyway. He said if they came and took him to jail he would plea guilty, and he would only get fifteen years in prison. And then parol for another fifteen. I told her this couldn't be happening. I told her that I believed her. I told her I wished I could help. I promised not to do anything without her permission. Then I told her we had to do something. I said we should go talk to the counselor. Together. We have marks. Her mom was dead for crying out loud! And that was what we did. She was a mandatory reporter and she called the Department of Human Services. They showed up at our house that night. My dad went off. Saying I was a lying dirty bitch. The cops showed up and took me to the police station, where I met a lady named Denette. Denette was going to adopt me that night. Now I am living with her in the same school district. I am happy and not being called worthless. Her husband is a nice man named Jace. He takes me fishing in the summer. I don't know what happened to Ally. I know she isn't with her dad anymore. Oh, wait I just got a letter from her... She is living about twenty minutes from here. Her dad is in prison. She stopped cutting. I stopped too. We are ready for life and overcame it together. This proves your best friend can help! You can do something if you stand up for yourself. I am now with him.(: And have no regret of my past. I am living a happy, healthy life.
(I do cut, and I am verbally abused. I have been speaking up and my best friend helps me through everything. You can stop abuse if you speak up. Anything is possible.)
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