Cystic Fibrosis

Poem by: gacademy

Reads: 1924 | Likes: 0 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 6

This poem is dedicated to Ashley Miller, my cousin. She passed away last year.

She had cystic fibrosis
Or as some call it,
Sixty-five roses

She went into the hospital
Wasn't anything new
Was already on the list for a transplant
Not much else they could do

They all were so sure
That she was coming back
But she never did
Due to the lungs she lacked.

Submitted: October 02, 2006

Memoir

Like
Shelfit

Add Your Comments:

Sign in to write a comment

Comments

LEBEA

i see this poem as having too much potential but i believe that you could have used words with emotion and power to hit directly to the centre of life.

e.g. she had it
and others may voice it
as sixty five roses

she went into the institution of life
it was supposed to be the last time
for she was on the list for a transplant
what more they could they offer?

they were certain
that return was eminent
and the last time it was
for the lungs, she lacked
and cystic fibrosis consumed her.

Thu, November 2nd, 2006 5:44pm

Author
Reply

Wow. You're a lot better at wording these things than I am. You see, that was the 2nd poem I had written in dedication to my cousin. I guess my inspiration wasn't all that great for this write, but you really did a good job re-writing it.

Thu, November 2nd, 2006 2:54pm

snowbelle

i like your version. you said what you felt at the time.
snowbelle

Wed, January 9th, 2008 7:49pm

Mezquiteno

Really liked it.. I'm sorry for your loss. I also had a cousin that passed away... This is one of the poems I actually like.. Don't listen to what this guy Lebea says or anyone else. You feel poetry, you don't stop and think of the words you should use. I felt your poem, that's pretty for me. Keep up the good work and again, congrats....

Thu, March 17th, 2011 9:21pm