"Chester's Inventors"

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Five friends get drunk, argue, and play a board game. The same five friends make up a business of inventors and know one another on a very personal level. I warn you there is vulgar language used among the people of the story. Enjoy.

“Chester's Inventors"
“Way to go guys. You have officially blown this game,” Clearly I’m stating the obvious.
The five of us were sitting around in a circle playing Parcheesi and drinking boxed wine. We’ve been at this for about two hours now.
“You can’t split dice with a double!” Marsh yelled out, clearly feeling intoxicated from drinking about five to ten glasses of wine. Possibly not seeing the dice correctly, seeing as how I rolled a five and a six. Marsh was still looking gorgeous despite being wasted.
“Watch me,” I fired back and moved my pieces accordingly.
“Alright. Game over I think this bullshit needs to end sometime soon cause my buzz is now turning to full blown drunk,” Dirk slandering his words a little bit as he talked and began to roll the dice. Rolling double sixes would constitute a win for Dirk. He then let the dice fly from his hand off the table and on to the floor, landing the double sixes needed to finish with both water buffaloes landing on the finish square.
“Game over bitches! Suck on that Parcheesi domination!” Dirk exclaims with joy and satisfaction.
“Illegal roll! No way are you allowed to roll dice onto the floor and just call it a game!” My brother Joe exclaimed in a serious tone I didn’t quite expect from a person who has finished an entire fifth of Jaeger. Joe only a year younger than myself at age 22 is just beginning his final semester of college, is at the height of his alcohol tolerance, and believes he can drink me under the table.
“Whatever bro, the game is over! Dirk congratulations you are clearly the master at Parcheesi and I hope we never play this game again because it is boring as shit,” I was laying down the law. Definitely feeling pretty drunk I just wanted the game to end.
“Whoa whoa whoa here man I still gotta chance to win this thing if he rolls again,” Randall staked a claim driving deep into the heart of my argument. Randall being slightly buzzed himself, he was in line after Dirk to win the game. If he rolled anything surpassing an eight total on the dice he could get the win. Seeing as how we had a hundred dollars riding on the game apiece, Randall had a point to argue the outcome of the game. Sitting in last place I quit caring about this game a long time ago.
“I’m calling bullshit on all of the above and respectfully resign from the game and the bet altogether,” Chester said in a voice of disgust and disappointment. Chester is our business investor and had agreed to financially back any of our ideas whilst opening a clinic for inventors. We were considered inventors to Chester, even though we haven’t gotten a patent on anything yet. “You guys can turn any friendly competition into an argument of epic proportions.”
Chester was being kind of an asshole, but seeing as how I was about to lose a hundred dollars I agreed to jump on board and stated, “I am also respectfully declining the game and bet and wish to just call it quits and get the fuck out of here.”
“You’re too drunk to drive anywhere anyway, so why don’t you just pay up before I kick the shit out of everyone because I got bills to pay,” Dirk ignoring everything everyone’s said and assuming he had already won the game.
Marsh with a somewhat pissed off, somewhat confused look on her face demanded, “Dirk you roll again you bitch cause no way are you going to roll two more sixes. Maybe if you’d read the rules of the game, you’d know that you cannot legally roll onto the floor and count it as a legitimate roll. Besides I have a hot date I am currently missing for this bullshit board game.”
“Oh yeah? With who Marsh?” Joe questioned with intrigue.
“A bottle of Fish Eye wine and my friend Alex thank you very much,” She fired back.
“Oh really?  Alex who then?” Joe continued.
“Alex…uh…Rodriguez...” Marsh struggled to find a viable candidate in a high pitched whine. “Just give me the damn dice!”
“No and no, because the game is already over cause I rolled double sixes. And Alex Rodriguez? Are you shittin me Marsh? Nobody in this room is going to believe that you have a date with the third baseman of the New York Yankees!” I noticed that Dirk waved his hands a lot when spoke, and when he was drunk.
“You guys go ahead and figure it out I’m grabbing a brewski. I’m so done with this box wine. Anybody else want one?” Randall then got up from the table and accidently tipped the table spilling all of the game pieces onto the floor. A unanimous groan/yell erupted from the group.
“Way to go dickhole you ruined the game!” Joe was disturbingly mad considering his state of drunkenness.
“No fucking way! I want that $400!” Dirk said with fire in his eyes and glass of wine in hand.
“Game over! All bets are off!” I yelled with a smile knowing that Randall’s mishap just saved me a hundred dollars.
“I second that! Besides I’m late for my date,” Marsh quickly slipped in as she stumbled from the table to the kitchen.
“You don’t have a God damned date with Alex Rodriguez!” Joe yelled after her.
“It’s alright I remember exactly where all the pieces were on the board. Just give me all the pieces,” Chester seemed dead serious about this but I definitely questioned his ability to accomplish this accurately. I didn’t have a case though if he just put them anywhere on the board because I have no clue where the pieces were. I was starting to feel the booze a little bit.
Randall began quickly picking up the pieces on the floor and handing them to Chester. Dirk stood there frozen with disbelief that everyone was bailing on the bet. Chester just put them into a pile on the corner of the table.
“Randall you are going to pay me that four hundred dollars!” Dirk said standing over him.
“Yeeaaa…sorry not gunna happen dude,” Randall responded as he got up with the last piece in hand.
“Uhh, yes you are dude!” Dirk persisted.
“What makes you think that I just happen to have four hundred dollars lying around? Besides I didn’t even want in on the bet in the first place,” came the retort from Randall.
“Whatever dude! You saw I won the game and you were pissed off so you threw the board! Admit it and pay up son!” Dirk crossed his arms as he finished in an intimidating fashion.
“I lost it,” Chester said out of the blue.
Both Dirk and Randall turned their heads to look at Chester who still hadn’t moved any pieces into their position on the board. “What?” They questioned in unison.
“Lost what?” I asked Chester.
Shaking his head back and forth with a look of deep concentration he responded.  “Nope, I lost it. The picture of the board I had in my mind. I can’t see it anymore, so I don’t remember where the pieces go. I was kind of getting bored as shit anyway. I’m getting a beer.”
And with that we all made our way to the kitchen to find Marsh drunkenly passed out on the kitchen table.
“God damn it!” Joe said.

Submitted: May 30, 2011

© Copyright 2021 Garrett Pollock. All rights reserved.

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Really nice story. Extreme! Read my story too. anyways u hav good work

Mon, May 30th, 2011 8:52pm

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