"Diamonds and Stoners"
It all started with a book, but not just any book.This was a special book that was about to fall into my hands by pure chance, leading me to my current position of
being handcuffed to a chair with a sock in my mouth.I’m hoping it was clean.Three large sweaty guys were pacing around the room smoking cigarettes and trying to look intimidating.They don’t realize
I’m not intimidated, I’m not panicking, and it’s all because I know something they don’t know…the whereabouts of a certain special book.Now, you’re probably wondering how I got into this mess and
what this stupid book is all about, and I’ll get to it.But to fully appreciate the complexity of the situation I have to start about two weeks ago…
The sidewalk felt gritty under my feet as Darryl and I slowly made our way back to the apartment late Saturday night.Just coming back from my friend Chuck’s placewe
were blazed out of our minds.Chuck’s my drug dealer and every time Darryl and I go to pick up buds, he’s waiting with like three blunts to smoke.He’s a pretty cool guy.So as we began to turn the
corner of the block to our apartment, an object had fallen out of the sky and landed out in front of us.
“Holy shit Gary!You see that?Where did it come from?” Darryl asked looking up at the sky.Meanwhile, I moved in for a closer look to see what the hell it was that
came flying through the sky at 11pm on a Saturday night.
“It looks like a book,” I said in a confused sort of tone as Darryl came to my side to investigate.
“Awesome man, where do you think it come from?Somebody just pitch it out the window up there?” Darryl craned his neck to look up to the top of the apartment
“Simplify You Work Life by Elaine St. James,” I read the cover aloud.Ways to Change the Way You Work So You Have More Time to Live.The book had a green border all
the way around as was almost a perfect square shape. Pictured under the title was a container of pens that you would find on somebody’s office desk, except that it was a faded green color to match
I noticed Darryl asked questions in pairs a lot as he said “Do think we should take it?I mean, what if somebody’s looking for it?”Darryl wasn’t the brightest bulb in
the box if you know what I mean, but he was a loyal friend and a good man.He had brown shaggy hair, his brown eyes would light up if he got excited, which happened pretty easily, and he’s always
ready to smile.Darryl weighed about 200 pounds but stood at like 6’3”, needless to say he was a pretty solid guy.His personality was the total opposite of his physical appearance. Darryl would be
the last guy to start a fight but the first one to bail you out of one.We were mates in high school and then moved to the city into an apartment to attend the same college.I even smoked my first
blunt with Darryl and we’ve pretty much been best friends ever since.Now we blaze almost on the daily and work as you know small two bit dealers that only sell to their friends.
I paused studying the book for a moment and flipping through the pages, “Well…what the fuck?Who throws a book out the window?Yeah, we’re taking it because clearly
somebody doesn’t want it anymore.I’m not going to read it, but shit why wouldn’t we take it?You going to read it?”
“Fuck no!Simplify your work life?Does that sound like a book I would read?”Darryl replied with a laugh.
I tucked the book under my arm and we continued down the sidewalk as if nothing happened.We reached the decrepit concrete stairs that lead to the front door of our
apartment building.After letting ourselves in through the front we have to walk up three flights of stairs to room 227, home sweet home.
Our apartment has a permanent smoke/weed smell that you notice every time you enter but it quickly disappears as you get used to it.It has a very simple setup to it
that I can literally walk you through it.Open the door, walk in, bathroom and shower on the right, kitchen on the left with an opening that overlooks the living room, keep walking, next you reach
the living room that has two hallways leading to it, down the right hallway is Darryl’s room, and down the left hallway is my room.That’s it.Everything is pretty clean and bare, except for the
living room.The living room had a couch, two lazy-boys, all aimed at the television that sat on a modern-looking stand, and a coffee table set in the middle.Atop the coffee table sat a colorful
water bong, two bowls, a couple ashtrays, empty beer bottles, lighters, and two half empty water bottles.Darryl’s dog, Rosco, came racing up to meet us as I tossed the mysterious book onto one of
Roscowas a pit-bull/boxer mix that was almost a year and a half old now.Darryl gotRosco from some old lady in the inner city the year we started living in our own
place.Rosco pretty much made us feel like a dysfunctional family, or at least two brothers who got along great.
“Yo man I think the Olympics are on, turn that shit on I gotta piss,” Darryl said and quickly moved into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
Roscowas still freaking out by my feet as I walked over to the couch, picked up the remote and flicked the TV on.An attractive female reporter flashed on the screen
from the local news.
“A series of murders occurred earlier this evening following a bank robbery downtown.Although we are unsure of the details, we believe thousands of dollars and
possibly even diamonds were stolen.The robbers left the bank and went on a random killing spree stopping at targeted houses and sadistically murdering their victims.The robbers are suspected of
being somehow linked to an inner city mob boss.A total of four different victims have been found so far trailing out of the city.Police and investigators are releasing no information about any
potential leads in such an unusual case...”
I punched in channel 242 and the winter Olympics came on the screen live from Vancouver, Canada.
Darryl entered, “Ugh.Curling’s on?Fuck this, let’s get ripped.”
After smoking a blunt or two, curling all of a sudden got interesting.The United States was playing Sweden in men’s curling, and in our defense it was a pretty close
match.Entertained by the close competition we just vegged on the couch and watched curling.
Nonchalantly I picked up the book and began leafing through the pages.Looked like a very boring read.I ran my hands down the spine of the book and noticed some
“Check this shit out,” I stated and elbowed Darryl in the ribs to release him from his daze.I pointed at the lumps in the spine of the book.
With a puzzled expression on his face Darryl asked of course two questions, “What the hell is that bro?Is there something in it?”
“Gimme your pocket knife I got an idea,” I said as Darryl slowly handed me the knife.
Splitting the spine of the book with the blade of the knife was easy enough.I started cutting from the top down and made it about half way until a small pouch fell
out.Picking up the pouch from the floor I undid the drawstring and dumped its contents. About a dozen diamonds fell out onto the coffee table.Darryl and I looked at each other in pure shock.
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