HAIR (with Wane Rudey)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Wayne Rooney's Hair...humour

This is the story that is transfixing the Nation’s attention at this moment. It is a tale of sadness, humility, stupidity.
Its conclusion :  The creation of a perfect role model for children : That is, children who want hair styles made from re-rooted follicles taken from the entrance of their body’s waste tube.
This is the story of Wane Rudey.  A bit part player at Manglechester Unsighted Football Club. His whole life was a charade. Living on past glories, he ran amok. He kicked the other team’s players for no reason. He swore at referees. He dived and he cheated. He helped old ladies, who were prostitutes, across the road…In short, he was a bit of a horrible person. A bit of a horrible person going nowhere.
Then a sudden transformation. Inspired by the Restricted Dumb Prancing ex host, Bruised Foresight, Wane decided to take decisive action.
He started to think….Hair.
He decided to extract the small, curly, pubic-type hairs from his anal passage and transplant them on his head.
The hair would have to be washed thoroughly and ironed straight. Difficult but not impossible. He would then have to collect the hair together using the personal protection of disposable latex gloves.
Next he would use a/some needle/s to puncture thousands of little holes in his prematurely balding head. The gathered hair would then be placed on to the head which had been previously been adorned with ceramic tile adhesive (runny mix)
The change was remarkable. He still kicked people for no reason, swore at referees, dived and cheated, but now he had bum hair on his head which took everyone’s mind of his atrocious character.
©Garry Croft Oct. 2014

Submitted: December 14, 2014

© Copyright 2021 garrycroft. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Mike Stevens

That there is some funny, yet somehow disturbing s**t, Garry; may the Christmas Spirit cop a feel this holiday season!

Sun, December 14th, 2014 2:57pm


This made me laugh out loud.Well written Garry.
Sorry it's taken
me so long to get back to Booksie.

Wed, September 9th, 2015 2:32pm


I apologise for taking even longer to reply....but thanks have always helped my confidence. Garry

Fri, September 30th, 2016 9:32am

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