Fake Smiles...

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A memory...

Submitted: November 22, 2012

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Submitted: November 22, 2012

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Fake Smiles

 

I open my eyes and immediately wish I hadn’t. My head is still pounding from the night before. I turn in my bed and look up at the white ceiling of my room. As I recall the events from the night before tears silently roll down my face. So, is this what heart break feels like? Or, is this merely the feeling of disappointment?  I close my eyes and think about yesterday afternoon…

 

My best friend Natalie pulls into my driveway at six o’clock. The sun is low in the sky as I open my front door and exit my house. I am wearing  a red dress and a leather jacket. I walk towards her car and see her sitting in the front seat. She is wearing a blue satin dress, looking beautiful as ever. She looks in her mirror and runs her fingers through her long blond hair. I open the car door and slide into the front seat.

The moment I close door she slams on the gas and we are propelled around the corner towards the free way on the way to his house.

“Are you excited for tonight?” I ask Natalie.

She smiles widely and slams her hands on the driving wheel. “Alexa, I’m so excited!” she says laughing. I smile and look out the window. After I look away the smile fades instantly. I look out the window as she turns the channel on the radio.

“So, does Zack know what we are doing tonight?” I ask her. Zack and Natalie have been dating for nine months, her longest relationships ever. Natalie lost her virginity to him six months ago. She says she regrets doing it, but I don’t know if I believe her. They are a great couple and I really love hanging out with them. However, lately she keeps talking about how she does not really like him anymore. And she keeps talking about a boy named Kevin.

“Nope,” Natalie says laughing, “And I can’t wait to see Kevin.” She grinned widely again. I can tell she was really happy.

Kevin and I have been friends for about a year. However, I have had a crush on him for the last three years. I told Natalie during our freshman year, two years ago, that I liked Kevin. I think she must have forgotten. 

When we arrive at Kevin’s house, Natalie tells me to go in and get the boys. I walk up to the front door.

“It’s fine,” I whisper to myself, “Tonight is going to be fine.”

I knock on the front door and wait. A few seconds later the door swings open and a  seventeen year old boy greets me with a strong hug.

“Hey, Ian,” I say smiling. Ian releases me and looks at me through his thick glasses.

“Man, you dressed up,” he tells me laughing.

“Shut up,” I say looking past him into Kevin’s house. Ian and Kevin are best friends. And over the past year I hung out with them a lot. I always found Ian much easier to talk to because he doesn’t make me nervous like Kevin does. I recently introduced them to Natalie. Now, for the past few months the four of us have been hanging out every weekend.

Kevin walks downstairs and appears in his door way. He looks beautiful, as usual.

“Ready?” I ask. Kevin doesn’t say anything but Ian claps his hands together.

“Born ready!” Ian says as he pushes me off the porch. Natalie honks her car horn.

We arrive at the club in Seattle an hour later. We show the door man our fake IDs and quickly move to the dance floor. For the first ten minutes, the four of us just stand around watching the other people dance. This is our first time coming to a club. It really makes me feel like I am not a kid anymore. Even though I am sixteen, I have always felt and acted much older. However, I don’t brake the rules very often so this feels very new to me. But, it feels good. The lights are dim so it is hard to make out people’s faces.

A familiar song comes on and I drag Natalie to the middle of the dance floor. The boys follow us. As we begin to dance I can feel the music pounding throughout my body. More people flood the floor and we are forced closer together. Natalie put her arms around my neck and I feel someone behind me grasp my hips and move them with his. I see Natalie turns away and pulls a figure that was standing by her towards. She places his hands around her waist. They dance and I can feel her back and the mans hands press into my back as I turn to face the guy dancing behind me. I see a glint from a disco ball reflect off his glasses and know immediately that it is Ian. I smile and the two of us dance fiercely for several songs I put my arms around his neck as we move together. I lose track of Natalie and Kevin.

Ian is one of my greatest friends and someone I love to talk to. We always talk about the girls he likes. I always give him advice and try to help him get the girl. His last girlfriend cheated on him over a year ago. It took him eight months to recover and I really want him to be happy. I notice that he keeps glancing at a girl to our right wearing a tight white shirt with short brown hair. I pull him close so I can talk into his ear and he can hear me over the music.

“Do you think she is hot?” I ask him smiling. A grin spreads across his face and he nods. I look at the girl again. A tall muscular guy is dancing behind her with his arms are wrapped around her twisting hips protectively. I turn us so that Ian’s back is facing the girl and slowly push my body against his while I twist.

“Alexa?” Ian says, “What are you doing?” But, I ignore him and grind with him against the girl in the white shirt. He laughs and we dance. After a while, I pull away from Ian to go to the bathroom. I push past sweaty bodies and make my way to the room marked ladies.

When I come out, bright strobe lights have come on. The lights made the illuminated people look like they were moving is slow motion. I am making my way back to Ian when I see them. Kevin and Natalie are dancing in the corner together. His arms are around her.

I stand motionlessly staring at them for several seconds. I feel a wave of shock and pain. What about me? What about Zack? The lights are making me dizzy, or at least I think it is the lights.

The DJ announces that it is the last song of the night. Ignoring the people on the dance floor, I push past the dancers and exit through the heavy front door.  The cold night air is welcoming. I walk a few feet and sit down on the curb. I stare into the road and think. The scene I just witnessed has made a sick feeling in my stomach. Thoughts flash through my mind. Does he like her? She is so beautiful. What about Zack? He is so beautiful. What about me? I hear the music inside stop. I take a breathe and stand up quickly wiping the tears off my face. I turn toward the club doors as people begin to file out and wait for my friends.

As Kevin and Natalie come towards me I force myself to smile.

“Hey, where were you?” Natalie asks me. I look down and see that they are holding hands.

“Around,” I say smiling. After several silent moments Ian bounds towards us.

“Alexa, you are the best,” he pants, “that girl was all over me!” he practically yells.

“I’m glad it worked out,” I say hugging him.

“Yeah, tonight was great!” Kevin says. I take a deep breathe. As the four of us walk towards the car, Kevin puts his arm around Natalie. When she looks at me I just smile. But, All I really want to do is cry or scream or at least not fucking smile.

 

As I return to the present, the sickly feeling in my stomach from seeing Natalie and Kevin returns. I sigh loudly and pull the blankets over my head.


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