Goodbye Friend

I should  have known by her looks that something went wrong with her. Her pinkish  

cheeks does'nt seem to glow as they were before. Her lips was pale and she suddenly became

skinny. If I had'nt known her that much I probably won't recognize easily. But I knew her so well that

even from  afar  and with backs turned against me I would still know that it's her. 

It's been months since we've seen each other and share chit-chats. Even so, it feels

like as though 'twas just yesterday. Since I got married I barely had time to meet up with her  but we

never failed to exchange texts messages  every now and then. And I know even without each other face

to face, we still have each other's side and it's more than enough to know we still had each other.

And today seeing her looks made me feel uneasy. It's as though she's gone through

something I did not know. Asking her many times about this thing that bother me about her gains me

no answer at all. She will just smile at me and change back the topic and  wanna talk about me 

instead. We spend most of the time talking (more about me and my new family), laughing at the me-

mories of the past and share plans for the future,yet it seems that talking about it bring a sudden sad-

ness in her. I could feel it eventhough see tried to hide it in front of me.. nothing could bother me more 

than seeing her acting this way. She  hugged me so tight before we exchange goodbyes and told me to

take care of myself. I told her the same and she responded with a sweet smile. I never thought that was

the last hug,the last smile and the last time I'll spend with her. She was no match to me when it comes to

hiding secrets but this time she won. I'm at lost of losing this one.

I was so shocked to hear the news the next day! So shocked that I tremble and felt

my whole world shattered. Nothing had ever prepared me from it. And I never wanted to believe and

accept everything that everyone was telling me. I can not contain everything. I really want to shout 

until I ran out of voice but I could'nt. I just found myself in one corner of the room embracing my-

self. Until I felt myself drifting into something that is draining all the energy in me. When I woke up,

I thought I see her standing beside me,comforting me,but I was wrong. It was just my imagination,

because I know that from now on,there will never be someone who'll care for me than she did. And I 

can do nothing about it cause eventhough it hurts so bad, I had to face and accept the truth, the

reality, that my true friend Jen is gone.