Snuz Pronounced Snooze Is a Prude

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
While reflecting on societies change and their views on sex and pornography and Spoken Word Poets who have joined in on their brigade, I state my case in my memoirs.

Submitted: June 02, 2012

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Submitted: June 02, 2012

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I am a prude and I don’t care. I came from the church and it made me a prude because we were taught that there was no sex before marriage and then I convinced myself that I would engage in a moreintimate nature when I was in love with that person. My thoughts, my ideals and I did, but I was always a monogamist. I just couldn’t see myself sharing my body with multiple people. To me being intimate in that way is the most single way to share yourself with the person you love. Romantic, well maybe and you think boring, oh never.
One year in my life, I was with this one person and we shared what was supposed to be special. We became one. For a whole year, it was an experience I have never experience before. To commit your body to one person and the sliding of the two together of which you should never share with another. That made the intimacy explosive always. I loved my mate and I thought they loved me, but alas, there was a one night stand of infidelity. I forgave, but our intimacy was gone. The specialness fled and I no longer wanted the rest of the relationship that came with it. The first time we joined together after her unfaithfulness, it was not the same. I knew it was never going to be the same. Our two spirits becoming one was lost and there was no savior for me except to find someone who later shared that mutual monogamy bodily wholehearted never ending in apologies that result in hurting me.
People that know me say they want a relationship like me without knowing what my wife’s pass relationships have been like and they really have no idea about mine. They see me today without seeing any of the ups and downs or the joys and pain. They see us living happy with each other today because our love is the greatest satisfaction carrying me through the rest of this life. Yahuwah is there, however, he knew I would need a Helpmate with this accepting society who pours out sex actually continual. He knew I would need a strong helpmate to stand by my side as we place Yahuwah above all and that means not following societies changing times in acceptance of the XXX sex.
I am a prude. I am anti-pornography and I am not too fond of the explicitness of the sexual force being rammed down our throats. There is nothing intended, but you know when you are being screwed to comply with other people’s thinking. I’m not judging, it’s how I feel and those who are care free, they can be free without me. I have no gravel for them. I have no gravel for myself and I’ll keep my sexy for my helpmate. I am a prude to you and don’t want to be a witness to the ever increasing lust of man.
I am a prude and I highlight it because once upon a time it was covered under a sea of rainbows. I found myself on some paths that were a little uncomfortable but it shaped a major part of my journey in time. One path began with the battle in my mind over my prude views verses the views of my then crew. I am a prude and I hid that truth because at that time before Ghetto Gospel, I was Snuz and Snuz was smooth.
There were parties, clubs, and get-togethers to go to and there was no room for the prude. I was always half done sometimes when I was running through the Catch One and I saw some things; I knew I was a prude.
I knew I was a prude when one time at the Catch One downstairs in Jewel’s Room and the strip show was starting and I headed the other way to the back bar. After two performances by the ladies, a friend of mine came running up behind me jumping up and down telling me that one of her favorite dancers was coming up next. My first thought was, ‘I don’t want to see that”. But she grabbed me by the hand and dragged me to the area where everyone’s attention was on and now so was mine. I looked down at her and she was on her back and that’s all I will say about that because I am a prude. I turned and walked away and hoped being a Lesbian was more to it than the body, lust and sex.
I was raised in the church and I studied Yahuwah’s word but I still made myself accepting of other people’s views on being a spectator to someone else’s human body. I participated in heart beating scenarios like in harlequin novels but I had a line. When I think on those days about that line, I know I am nowhere near even that line today. With stained glass eyes closed shut, I partied and put some of that prude in my peer box. I hid the fact from my club peers that I was a prude at 32. They were 10, 11, 12 years younger than me and we trail blazed our coming out through the club scene together.
I was a prude then and I am a prude now. I don’t want to watch an individual posed, imaged, or video clipped in indulging in the act. I don’t want to look upon a naked soul unless I have a covenant with them. We all know sex exist. It is good, don’t get me wrong, but just for me, it belongs between you and your mate and not among anyone who will listen or watch. And now I can even hardly go to an open mic due to a poet’s reading in every little single detail on how someone made them feel. Ok one poet wants to express, I’m going outside and that’s my choice. I am not going to sit there and act like I am enjoying your art. And now they have open mics for the “Grown and Sexy” and the whole show is dedicated to erotica so I don’t go and again, my choice.
From my side of the revolution in poetry to the poets who forgot we are in a revolution. To the poets who don’t want to speak truth because you think people won’t listen to you, then you are not with the revolution. As with the church and their watered down false doctrine, my poet brothers and sisters have joined them because they are in hot pursuit to be some def poet. There is no message, it is only sugary lyrics filled with profanity and laced with your bedroom intimacies. I am a prude and I don’t want to hear it. I will keep my mouth and my mic filled with truth, some truth, a truth, but it will always be a spiritual, social, or political truth.
Some Spoken Word Poets started out saying that they didn’t care about getting rich on this and if they can enlighten just one, they would be satisfied. But now, these days, their satisfaction comes with the focus of gold on the brain and that one, you have forgotten because the roar of the applauses has caused you to fill up once again with yourself and you leave that one behind. You are a civil servant of lyrics and the voice to those who don’t have a voice. Spoken Word Poets leave no one behind.
Don’t you know lyrical warriors don’t leave anyone behind? But you follow in the path of darkness to where there is no light and truth may never see the light of day because to be rich and famous is a seed of man’s own principles which influences the character. Poets have joined in the fight to kill honor and joined in the ranks to glorify the debris of wickedness. I have just put a tighter grip on the staff of righteousness which is my mic. I am a prude and it is my dress to adorn with you, or without you. I’m not rude, I am a prude.


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