My role model,
My best friend,
My tour guide in life,
My big sister,
You helped me through a lot.
From my random depression,
To my personal issues,
Though I guess I can’t help you.
You said it yourself.
Nobody can help your depression no matter what.
Does that mean I’m worthless to you?
You said you were happy.
Your laugh made me smile.
Your kindness made me feel safe.
I was your lil’ bro right… wasn’t I?
Every time you seemed happy even with depression,
You said I was able to help you a lot.
But you plainly stated nobody can help.
You unintentionally told me I’m not worth shit to you.
And you know what that did to me?
My world is broken.
I don’t think things will ever be normal.
Chances are things might be broken between our friendship.
It hurts like hell.
Even depression isn’t worse than what I felt when you said I can’t help.
So you know what?
How can you expect me to be your brother?
When you stated I can’t help.
My heart is cold again.
When my heart was cold you always helped.
When your heart hurts I can’t do anything.
Worthless is what I am.
Unimportant is what I’m to you.
You say you care for me and I’m important.
Do you even mean what you say?
You say I can help you with depression.
Though you’re still depressed and you tell me that.
It hurts each time you hurt.
It hurts so much I might as well just cut and slit parts of my body.
So what do I do for you really?
Do I do anything at all for you?
I said I’m willing to do whatever you ask.
You ask me to stop cutting.
And I’m trying what I can.
I ask you to be happy.
You say it’s something you can’t do at all.
So how much does it hurt me?
Let me just say a few more things.
Even though I’m worthless when it comes to your depression,
I still love you,
Because you’re my big sister,
And I’m not sorry that I can’t help,
Because I know you don’t need me.
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