Colorblind Now

Miscellaneous by: gigglemybagel

Summary

Here it is, the contents of February 23rd. I left out a few things. Like that he believes you choose who you love, so therefor me "choosing" not to love him was a huge crime rather than a natural happening of feelings. OH! And that he told me he hated the picture I drew for him. Just little things. So this is more of what was going through my head I guess.

Content

Submitted: March 03, 2012

A A A | A A A

Content

Submitted: March 03, 2012

A A A

A A A


There I was. His arm was around me, I was trying to not squirm. I turned off the background noise and looked at him, really looked at him until I couldn't bear it any longer and I stared at the wall. With every breath I took in, I tried to muster up the courage no to simply breathe out again. When I finally let the words spill from my mouth, so did the tears spill from my eyes. And his were dry.

It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, asking someone to be my friend, and he said, "I am trying to be your friend, Johanna, that's all I've been trying to do." I looked at the crinkles in my sheets, and I looked at the prints on my fingers, and I asked myself a question.

"Friendship is all that there is in this world," he told me. "Friendship is all you need to make it work." But it isn't. "You can do anything if you try hard enough. God answers prayers, Johanna, but then it's up to us to keep them going." I hated the way he used what once brought us together against me. That night I prayed to a God I'm not sure I believe in, and I asked for guidance. Guidance I have yet to receive. I know Icouldmake it work, but we wouldn't truly be happy. Friendship is the base of true love, but friendship does not replace it.

He told me that kind of love doesn't exist; the kind that grows butterflies in your stomache, where the sun shines whenever they are near, and you can't help but smile each time you think of them, where you feel like you are standing on top of the world. He told me "true love" is a lie. I began to wonder about every time "I love you" had escaped his lips. Then I started to cry again, and again he watched me through his waterless blue eyes.

When he walked down the hallway I noticed how nice he looked, and how he would never look that way for me again. As the door finally shut behind him I realized he will never again walk through that door.

I know that he blames me for not trying hard enough, but what he doesn't know is that when I wake, another face is on my mind. A face I've tried to push away so many times before.

As for what lies ahead, he's left me -or rather I've left myself- without a love or a friend, and with only black and white paints to make myself a picture.


© Copyright 2016 gigglemybagel. All rights reserved.

Colorblind Now

Status: Finished

Genre: True Confessions

Houses:

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: True Confessions

Houses:

Summary

Here it is, the contents of February 23rd. I left out a few things. Like that he believes you choose who you love, so therefor me "choosing" not to love him was a huge crime rather than a natural happening of feelings. OH! And that he told me he hated the picture I drew for him. Just little things. So this is more of what was going through my head I guess.
Share :
Twitter

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

Other Content by gigglemybagel

Add picture

Paste the link to picture in the entry below:

— or —

Drag a picture from your file manager into this box,
or click to select.

Add video

Paste the link to Youtube video in the following entry:

Existing Comments:
Bad selection

Cannot annotate a non-flat selection. Make sure your selection starts and ends within the same node.

(example of bad selection): This is bold text and this is normal text.
(example of good selection): This is bold text and this is normal text.
Bad selection

An annotation cannot contain another annotation.

Anonymous
Really delete this comment?
Anonymous
Really delete this comment?

There was an error uploading your file.


    
Anonymous