Life's musings to a lonely soul

The only defect in life is that it doesn't stop for anyone ever
I'm trying my hardest to close my eyes and be back with you 
To pretend like it almost hasn't been a year 
To pretend I'm not the reason why you shed every single tear
To pretend that losing you was my biggest fear at the time

The only regret in life is those moments you took for granted
Every fight was a beautiful little mess 
Now I wish I had you in all my moments of stress
Kisses were regular and didn't mean much at the time
But now its five am and I have them all playing on rewind

The only mistake I have truly learned from in life was leaving you 
It's something I had to learn the hard way 
Because if I swallowed my pride before
I would be sitting in my car on your drive way
But the temptation was to great and i miss you extra more every 19th of May

The only happiness in life is artificial now 
It's a constant decision to drown in scotch or to float in sorrow
But either way there is no bright tomorrow 
It's all a constant reminder that you don't know what you have until it's gone 
Now I'm sitting on my phone waiting for a text , call , anything to know 
It hasn't been too long.

The only escape at this point in life  is in my sleep 
Because even you can't control what I dream 
I dream of you and me and everything we used to be 
From the way you laid your head on my chest when you slept 
To all the notes poems gifts and letters of yours that I have kept
I hope this has all been just that a dream so I can wake up
Cry of happiness and pray to The Lord that this we can keep.