Dark Night of the Soul

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a piece that came out of me one month after my beloved only brother Aaron committed suicide on Feb 11, 2009. It took 4 months of shock and denial for me to begin to realize what had happened. I could not understand what death actually was at the time. I wrote this while I was still under the impression that my brother would come back. A glimpse into the mindset I had at the time after the sudden loss of my brother.

Submitted: December 11, 2011

A A A | A A A

Submitted: December 11, 2011



"An expression used to describe a phase in a person's spiritual life, a metaphor for a certain loneliness and desolation."

"Dark Night of the Soul: a process where the incarnated soul hits "rock bottom" psychologically. If perceived properly, in truth a good thing for this is for many souls when they start seeking God again. If there was no such thing as "suffering" or hitting rock bottom people would be lost forever and never search God."

"Dark Night of the Soul- Many seekers would encourage the dark night experience if they knew what it was. However, to one engaged in the dark night, suffering seems unending."

This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friends. The song is called, "Life". When we started singing it we knew not what it was. Now we'll continue singing it forever,  just because.

Life never ends. Even when we are separated from our physical bodies, we are not dead. Once God has created you, you are alive forevermore. After this physical life on earth, we are found in Him; still standing. Still alive. That life is even more real than this one, if you can accept it.

1Corinthians 2:9(King James Version) "But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him."

What I think about when I read that verse is:

I have beheld with my own eyes, an exquisite scarlet rose perfectly speckled with a spray of fresh dew, at the crowning glory of its lifetime. I have gazed upon the magnificent snow-capped mountain ranges of Montana, with their gorgeous scenery abundantly flourishing all around. I have savored the fragrance of pure frankincense and un-adulterated myrrh, preciously formulated in none other than the Holy city of Jerusalem.

I have heard with my ears the angelic, harmonious melodies of a choir in deep worship; sung perfectly in tune with a most grandiose joy and true exuberance. Even still, I have tasted in my mouth with the delicate and sensitive palate, the freshest milk and purest of honey; produced through the toil and accomplishment of the noblest of bee colonies on the planet. Still, the most thrilling of these even more: I have held in my arms my newborn babies, entrusted with the gift of His own creation. I have gently stroked my daughter's subtle hair with the privileged fingers of an unexperienced, eager mother.

I've been honored to have kissed my son's delightfully plump cheeks from top to bottom with loving, unconditional lips. Held each of their hands as they learned to walk on their own, until they were stable; not contemplating a tomorrow that might leave my hands or heart empty.

Psalms 30:5 "Though sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning." A dark night of the soul, IS A NIGHT, nonetheless. Genesis 1:5" He divided the light from the darkness. He called the light "Day", and the darkness, He called "Night".

This enlightens me that He created the Day, and He hath also created the Night.

Job 2:10"Shall we indeed accept good from God, and not accept adversity?"  I have felt propelled towards an identical scene, brother Job.

A favorite hymnal from my childhood has taken on a depth of meaning I had not experienced so thoroughly until recent days:

"When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot
Thou hast taught me to say
Even so; It is well, with my soul."

Even so, Lord Jesus, It is well. You are the Lord who giveth. You are the Majesty, and you are the Lord who taketh away. Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Thank you, my Lord, for letting joy come in the morning. Thank you for every breath that You have granted me thus far. Thank you for each and every friend that I have ever known. Thank you for the unsurpassable intimacy that You have given between my priceless and cherished brother and sisters. Thank You for bequeathing to me the most transcendent mother that You Yourself have ever created. Thank you for your Peace. Thank you for Your grace. Thank you for Your mercy. Thank you, Lord, for being our daily bread. Thank you for beauty. Thank you for the ashes. Lord, thank you for Your Presence. I trust You for survival through the darkest night my soul has ever known.

I love you, Lord, I need You, Lord. I require Your Presence more than my lungs demand oxygen. I trust you more than my heart is broken, bruised, crushed and in raw anguish. For my brother that You graciously lent me to sample and watch over for a time. I have sampled him daily, with a bond only a brother will make, for 21 years. He was good indeed, Lord. The best there ever was. You surely did create him a masterpiece, Lord; our darling Aaron Frank.

You are the One who searches the heart, and knows it to the uttermost.

Psalm56:8 "Lord,You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?"

Not one sparrow falls to the ground apart from the Father's will, and of how much more worth are you than many sparrows?

Revelation 22:5 "And there shall be no night there; and they need no candle, neither light of the sun; for the Lord God gives them light: and they shall reign for ever and ever."

Micah 7:8 "Though I dwell in darkness, the LORD is a light unto me."

Blessed be the name of the Lord!


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