Gerald The Bright Green Moose

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A rather strange day for a rather strange animal

Submitted: March 06, 2008

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Submitted: March 06, 2008

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Gerald was a moose, he certainly wasn't your average everyday moose but, you see Gerald was green. Now I'm not talking, you know, your leaf green or your frog green or even your thing-that-you-spent-the-last-hour-digging-out-of-your-nostril-with-a-fork green, no I'm talking BRIGHT green.....bright to the point you almost need sunglasses to look at him. You might be thinking "My Lord!! That poor moose!" or "Eeeeew thats just disgusting! A green moose!!" or even "Flying purple giraffes"........ no wait.....thats just me. Anyway back to the matter at hand...... now although being bright green may seem like quite a disadvantage, for Gerald it was anything but, being bright green had made Gerald the most popular moose among all meese (PAUSE). I feel I must pause this tale just to clear up a minor detail.....the plural for moose is indeed meese and not moose like most people tend to believe......I mean seriously come on the plural for goose is geese IT ONLY MAKES SENSE AND I SHALL NOT BE TOLD ANY DIFFERENT! (PLAY). Ok so being bright green had made Gerald popular. All the meese loved him and his greeness, he had many friends everywhere and he loved being popular. Gerald spent many nites out on the forest with his friends, downing pint after pint of fermented maple syrup and generally just having a good time. One morning, after a particularly wild nite out on the forest, Gerald awoke and carried out his usual morning routine (grumble about how much his antlers hurt after last nite and how he'd never drink so much again, stumble down to the stream for a quick wash and a quick chew on sum grass b4 heading back to the stream for a drink)...... yes he bathes n drinks in the same place....disgusting I know. Anyway as Gerald bent down to the water to drink he caught his reflection in the water and was completely flabergasted (yes flabergasted) at what he saw. He must've still been dreaming.....or could it be that he had a bad batch of fermented maple syrup lastnite? Gerald rubbed his eyes as best he could, I mean he does have hooves after all, and looked again. The reflection in the water didnt change......GERALD WAS BROWN.....regular moosey brown. Gerald had lost his green! But where? How? Had it been stolen? Had it run away while he was a sleep? Had he left in a taxi lastnite? Wait.....meese dont use taxis......nevermind. Gerald thought back as best he could. Broken images flashed through his moosey mind.... the mud bog.....fermented maple syrup..... laughing squirrels..... drunken meese..... the tree....ooooh the tree (thats another story)...... female meese..... antlers stuck in rabbits burrows but nothing that explained his loss of greeness. Gerald started to freak out. How could this have happen? Someone would have to know where his green went! Maybe Geralds best friend, Nuts the Splenetic Squirrel, would know wat happened. Now being a rather splenetic squirrel, Nuts, was rather bad tempered at the best of times and having been out drinking all night you can probably imagine that this particular morning was certainly not the best time to be bothering him at all. Gerald arrived at Nuts' tree and began to ram it using his antlers and continued to ram it until a rather nasty looking Nuts peered out of his hole. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT??" shouted a very irate Nuts

"It's me.....Gerald" shouted Gerald "Somethings gone wrong".....Nuts leaned further out of his hole and peered down at Gerald

"GET OUTTA HERE YOU MORON!!" "GERALD IS BRIGHT GREEN AND YOU'RE BROWN YOU DUMB ARSE!" Nuts yelled back

"That's exactly what I came to talk to you about" said Gerald

"LOOK MATE I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ON BUT IF YOU DON'T PISS OFF AND LET ME SLEEP IM GONNA COME DOWN AND BITE YOU SO HARD THAT YOU'LL WISH YOU WERE DEAD!" yelled Nuts

Gerald didn't know what to do. He was devestated. He knew if he hung around Nuts would do exactly what he said he would so he left. This couldn't really be happening. If Nuts didnt recognise him no one would. He may as well pack up all his things and leave the forest forever. No one here would ever belive he was Gerald...... hell he was no longer bright green. He wandered around the forest for a while trying to work out what he would do. All the animals gave him strange looks. "Who's the new guy?" he would hear them whisper to each other. It was hopeless. Gerald decided then and there that he would leave. Maybe a new start in a new place would be good for him. Who know's....maybe somewhere out there he'd find his green again. Returning home Gerald set about packing up all his things. By the time he had finished it was getting late and the sun was low in the sky. "It'll be too dark before long" thought Gerald "I better stay the night and leave in the morning"

Gerald awoke early the next morning with a start. Had yesterday all been a bad dream? Was it all in his head? Looking around Gerald saw all his stuff neatly packed. Dammit it had happend. Deciding he better have a wash before he left, he headed off to the stream. Upon stepping into the water Gerald could not believe his eyes. Could it be true? Noooooo.....no way! It can't be! Gerald blinked and shook his head and looked again. It was true! Gerald had somehow become bright green once again during the night. He was flabergasted (yes flabergasted). Overjoyed he dashed back home. Now he wouldnt have to leave! Upon arriving home Gerald heard a strange sound and felt a sharp pain in his butt. He started to feel woozy and suddenly blacked out. Gerald awoke to find himself surrounded by a set of stong looking shiny metal bars. You see.....a team of scientists had be tracking Gerald for 3 weeks but had suddenly lost sight of him the day before as he had become brown and looked just like any other moose. Now that he was green again....they had their moose. The promptly took him back to their lab where he was subjected to all sorts of awfully painful experiments after which they stuffed him and put him on display for all to see.

THE END

The moral of this story is........Be careful of scientists if you're green and walking through the forest


© Copyright 2017 Glycerine. All rights reserved.

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