Eight Years and Counting

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
It had taken her eight years to get here, but was she really sure she knew where here was?

Submitted: January 05, 2011

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Submitted: January 05, 2011

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She was trembling as she made her way up the winding path. Unable to control her limbs she shoved her hands into her pockets, hoping that it wasn’t noticeable. The confidence that had led her to this very spot had evaporated the second she had stepped out of her car, and if she wasn’t so damn stubborn she would’ve probably turned back already.

But she was stubborn. And she was here.

And she had something that needed to be said.

Realizing that in order to ring the bell and alert someone that she was even there she was going to have to remove her hands from their cocoon in her pocket. Sighing inwardly to herself she rang the door and almost jumped when she heard the all-too-familiar chimes echoing through the house that used to make her feel safe. Waiting on the doorstep was a hell of a lot harder then she had originally thought, she hadn’t really known what to expect when she came here, but she knew as soon as the door was opened that this wasn’t it at all. Looking up and seeing the face that had been so much a part of her life for so long was incredibly painful, and she almost lost her nerve again. Almost. But she was here. And she had something to say. “I’m sorry.” It was a lot shorter and to the point, and all those hours she spent practicing what she was going to say at this exact moment all seemed for not. But she said it. And the look she was receiving was not one she wanted. It was a little unnerving and a lot intimidating. “Sorry?” The voice was hoarse, raspier then she remembered. And the ache she could hear laced in the words made her head snap up and meet those beautiful blue eyes she had dreamed about for years. She couldn’t form words, her voice had decided that this was the perfect moment to take a leave of absence, but she nodded her head, hoping that was enough. It wasn’t. The sarcastic scoff she received in reply was enough to make her wince. She knew this would be hard, but she didn’t realize that she would wish for the earth to open up and swallow her whole. “I’m not sure what exactly you expected to come out of this visit Maddie, but I can guarantee you life would be simpler if you turned around and walked away.” When the hell had he gotten so mean? She could remember the times when she would catch him tearing up at stupid movies, ones that even she didn’t cry at. She remembered the way he would hold her when she had finally found something that made her cry. She looked up at the man he had become and all she could see was hate, anger, and pain. It was always the pain. Knowing what she had done made this worse. Everything they were both feeling right now could’ve been avoided, if only she hadn’t been so ridiculously stupid. So in love with herself and her ideals that she tossed the only thing she had ever really cared about, aside without a backwards glance. And here they were almost eight years later, and everything had changed. When she had first heard about his return to their small town she had felt scared, terrified that they were going to relive everything she had run from. But as the days began to turn into weeks, and she woke up one day and realized that it had been over a month since he had been back and se hadn’t heard from, or seen him. It almost killed her to realize how much she really wanted to see him. To be near him. To love him. So she made the decision to offer him some sort of apology, something that would let him know just how stupid she had been, and just how much she wanted him, and that her pride was something she had learned to sacrifice a long time ago. It took her another month before she had even worked up the courage to get herself to this point. She had practiced, rehearsed, her four page long apology to the point where she was reciting it in her sleep.She was damn proud of the way she had worded everything she needed to say, and she knew there was no way he would be able to resist what she had to say. He never had before. And then she was here. At his door. Looking up at the broken man before her. Unable to suppress her overwhelming guilt. And all her rehearsing flew out the window. Her pathetic attempt at an apology was worthy of his scoff, but she didn’t know how to backtrack from here. She didn’t know how to go back and start over, and sure as hell didn’t look like he was in a very forgiving mood. “I didn’t really expect anything Luke. I just needed to apologize for everything because what happened, what I did really sucked. And you didn’t deserve any of it, so I’m sorry.” “Sorry doesn’t fix it.” God damn he was being really mean. She was starting to get a little pissed off, because she knows that it doesn’t fix it she knows that it’ll take more than a few simple words to get him to even look at her properly but really his snobbish attitude was making her want to smack him. “I got that much. But I had to start somewhere didn’t I?” She looked at him, and he could see the slow fire start to build in the back of her dark blue eyes. The eyes that he used to be able to read better than a book. “No, actually I was perfectly fine with not having this moment, thanks.” She could practically feel the sarcasm oozing over her, and he knew he just knew he had finally pushed the right button, or the wrong one, whichever way you wanted to look at it. “You know what! I get it! I suck! What I did sucked! But do you really have to stand here being a complete ass?” He fire only fuelled his and he took a menancing step toward her, making their height difference glaringly obvious. “You think that showing up here almost two months after I get home and spitting out a lame apology makes this okay? Makes you any less of an ass?” His face was in hers right now and if she had been thinking clearly this would’ve turned her on, but right now she could only feel that proverbial snap inside her and she lost any semblance of control she had. “It took me this long because I was terrified! I was so scared that seeing you again would only result in a huge fight! Good thing I was wrong right?” She could see him preparing to fight back so she beat him to it. She had something to say. And he was damn well going to hear it. “Before I could even think about coming here I wrote out every damn thing I wanted to tell you! I memorized it! I was so afraid to come here! I knew how I felt! It was you! It was always you! I was just too proud at 18 to even realize that! And I’m sorry…” She couldn’t hold back the onslaught of tears that were assaulting her, she couldn’t even look at him. She had sworn she wasn’t going to do that. She wasn’t going to let him see her like that, but like always she couldn’t hide from him, not then, not now, not ever. “Maddie.” Just the sound of her name made her want to cry all over again. But she couldn’t look at him. She hated being vulnerable, it was what made her run to begin with. “Maddie, look at me. Please.” It was the broken sound of his voice that made her resolve crumble and she looked up. She gasped at the intensity she was met with. She couldn’t even name all the emotions she could see swirling around in those god damn blue eyes. “Luke, I don’t…” She couldn’t finish her sentence before he had crushed her small frame to his. She clung to him with everything she had. She wouldn’t know how to break the embrace if she tried, not that she even really wanted to try. “Maddie I know. I know.” He whispered against her hair, and she melted completely into him. She wasn’t sure she could define where she ended and he began, she wasn’t sure she had ever been able to. He finally pulled her away long enough to look into her eyes, and smile. Her smile. The one she had been waiting for. The one that made her world complete again. And then he kissed her. All their emotions were swirling around and she couldn’t hold anything back. She didn’t want to hold anything back. They were in the house and up the stairs before she had a chance to let her mind catch up to her heart. Their clothes were tangled in a mess on his floor and the way he looked at her before he entered her made her feel whole, more complete than she had been for the last eight years. Waking up to him the next morning made her realize just how how much she had been willing to give up. Turning to face him, and meeting his smile again (her smile) was enough for her. He was enough for her.


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