"All I Wanted Was To Love Him."

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic
My life is slowly being drug deep down into a black abyss. Will i ever claw my helpless,useless self back up into the fading light? Only time can tell.

Submitted: August 03, 2012

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Submitted: August 03, 2012

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I'm sitting in this tub: water warm and comforting. Bubbles surrounding me. Korn's \"Freak On A Leash\" blasting from my black radio. And my beloved razor blade beside me, sitting on the edge of the tub. I have been through Hell and fucking back. My family has talked repeatedly to me about the same bullshit: \"Don't talk to him. He's disrespectful, rude. Why do you keep talking to him? Why do you go against your loving,caring mothers' wishes? She wants the best for you. You're a damn minor anyway. Respect her goddamn authority.\" I sit there and listen, nodding my head. Fourteen and a half,stubborn, selfish, spoiled to the fucking core. I was practically born this way. Don't keep asking me the same fucking question,\"why are you so disrespectful?\" because i don't fucking know even if my life depended on it. I'm about to be a freshman. Since sixth grade I've been going downhill. Down. Down. Down. To the burning floors of Hell. I thought they'd understand me. Why i do the things i do. I won't stop..because he is NOT dangerous. You hear me you judging, non-listening people i am \"suppose\" to call family?! I have tried to do and follow your fucking orders since i was in Pre-K! I'm done trying to please you! I'm done with this shitty life! I'm not going to sit here and tolerate shit else from ANY fucking body! Warm tears fall down my cheeks as I reach over to my lovely razor blade. I had already swallowed a handful of sleeping pills and anti-depressants. Pressing the blade against my left forearms, i inhale deeply and start to slash deep. Repeatedly. Over and over until my dark blood drips into the tub. But i am not finished yet. I move on to my right,doing the same. So much gorgeous, crimson liquid coming from me. I smile to myself. I only wanted to be able to freely love, no matter what. He understood, he had been there and done that, and he HELPED me! He LOVED me you fuckin', careless bastards. He didn't really do anything wrong. He just stood up for me and himself. Guess of all things..I can't have things that'll make me happy for a lifetime. I inhale my last breathe, feeling myself slipping into eternal darkness. My body slides underwater,and my last exhale was released in an air bubble,eyes shut forever. Left on the toilet seat was a small note: \"I'll Love You For Eternity,Daniel.\"


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