My Tortured Soul

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

a poem of despair suicide death

My Tortured Soul
Pain it is a strange thing, sorrow a cleanser some do say
Fear, a sign of life’s faint beat, love both power and light.
A lifetime together - so it seemed - a journey like no other
Hearts like ours to meet as one, ha! It could not last!
Snowcapped mountians, chalet fires, summer sun and autumn’s charm
Wine to sip and candlelight, we dance the night away
Smoky cafes, early morn, poet’s ramble, music plays
Minds combine as hearts do meld, ah, love’s magic spell
Days did join in dizzy hieghts, years flew past as moments chill
Memories now a blurr of time, death crept in unseen.
Cold the wind that blew that day, chilling my young soul
Preminition, deja veux, ah a bitter pill
If only he had not gone home, if only I had known
A drunken man, a flashy car, I’d seen it in my mind
A warning from the world beyond, and yet I gave no heed
I held a rose, my thoughts far gone, I saw his face once more
A tear did trickle slowly down, the scent it brought but ache
The rose, a sign for lovers true and yet, its thorns bring pain
Is sorrow but a part of love - is death but sweet release
I cried within my tortured soul, I prayed again for death
The darkened monsters deep within were tearing at my mind
They’re fearful creatures living there - they’re ripping out my soul
They cause such pain they claw at me with talons long and sharp
I’m trapped within those fearsome claws; I sink within their hold
Lost I am in endless dreams, trapped within my mind
Darkened caverns, memories past, all driving me insane
Death, ah death, oh sweet release, to free me from this pain
My mind is like a tortured soul, that only seeks release
Oh sweet relief is all I ask, enveloped in its shroud
No memories left to haunt my day, each second ticking by
I scream within but none do hear, I weep with unshed tears
If only I could find release, if only in death’s arms
United then we’d be as one, no more this agony
Lovers, once we both were one, now ‘tis bitter pain
I look without this empty shell, I see all like a dream
The words of comfort that they speak, are lost outside my realm
The motions I do take each day, I walk as if in sleep
My actions programmed seem to me, I am not really here
My friends and loved ones try to help, they do their best for me
But I, a tortured troubled soul, locked up in darkened cell
Insane I am - or soon will be - no release from these thoughts
I am a prisoner locked within - a captive of myself
I hold this rose its fragrance sweet; I clasp it in my hand
The thorns do bite, the blood runs free; the pain brings me release
As thoughts do flitter through my mind, one slash and all is gone
The knife I have within my purse, one cut - then sweet release
I see his face it beckons me, I hear his gentle voice
It calls to me, it sings my name; death waits - its gates ajar
The wind is cold; I feel a chill, my body shivers, brrr!
The sky is black like velvet soft, if I could clasp it now
No sound I hear, just beating heart, my blood raced through my veins
As if it called for me to cut - to let it freely flow
My mind is so confused it seems, my head it throbs, such pain
I cannot sleep, I cannot live, I have no heart or soul
I open up this purse I hold, the rose falls to the ground
The knife comes out so easily its steel so cold and smooth
My finger run along its edge, my skin does open up, a trickle red did colour it
I stared at it in awe.
My other hand was also was red, from thorns upon the rose
I smiled it seemed it wasn’t hard to end my life at all
I saw myself within the blade, my face so pale and white
My troubled eyes so filled with pain, one stroke and then release!


Submitted: December 31, 2009

© Copyright 2021 Graeme Montrose. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Mistress of Word Play

A very dark and callculated write. Sucide and the thoughts that surround it are hard to write. You did it masterfully in this write of yours. Imagery and feeling were stark and beautiful. Great job! Susan :)

Thu, December 31st, 2009 4:34pm

Author
Reply

Thanks Susan, yes it is not the easiest of writing subjects

Fri, January 1st, 2010 3:58pm

NazireC

very beautiful it glistens in the dark.
This was I bet a very difficult write, but you've pulled it off with such class and such artistic talent.
Excellent as always.

Thu, December 31st, 2009 8:38pm

Author
Reply

Thanks Nazire it is always a pleasure to get your input!

Fri, January 1st, 2010 4:00pm

neno

Great Poem :) good luck

Fri, January 1st, 2010 11:14pm

Author
Reply

Thanks!

Fri, January 1st, 2010 4:00pm

MyraSpears

Excellent write my friend. Good luck. Happy New Year!

Sat, January 2nd, 2010 3:04am

Author
Reply

Thanks, and a Happy New Year to you and best wishes for your new year in writing!

Sun, January 3rd, 2010 2:34am

masteroffear

awesome poem my friend .. good luck in the challenge :) Yazan

Sat, January 2nd, 2010 10:35am

Author
Reply

Thanks, nice to hear from you. So sorry about the news that people are stealing your work. You have such talent it is so sad that there are those who would try to use your work as their own!

Sun, January 3rd, 2010 2:36am

PaulChafer

Very expressive, great writing, wjll come back for more, such good use of the language.
Paul.

Wed, January 27th, 2010 3:37pm

Author
Reply

Thanks Paul

Thu, January 28th, 2010 5:04am

Sharief Hendricks

What an excellent deep emotional ride you took me on Graeme !

Such a heavy them that you managed to make so easy to read yet connect with the despair...

A beautiful piece of fiction but unfortunately such a very real reality...

you did it honestly !

Well done !

Loved it...

Thu, July 9th, 2020 11:07am

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