Legand of Hyrule

“Marth do not let anyone in,” Yells Roy from another room in the house.

“Okay Roy I won’t,” responds Marth in a yes sir kind of tone then says to himself, “Now what was I supposed to do.”

A loud banging then a harsh voice says, “Open up I need to kill Roy.”

Marth opens the door then say, “Here come in.”

“Thank you Marth,” Says the mysterious man

“No Problem,” says Marth in a proud of himself tone.

“What the hell Marth Why did you let this man in?” Roy asks stunned.

“All he said was he needed to kill you he seemed like a nice guy so I let him pass.”

And in the time it took for Marth to say that the mysterious man kidnapped Roy

Roy as he is being carted off “yells I’ll kill you for this Marth.”

Meanwhile in Zelda’s palace

“Link is that lemonade on my floor?” Zelda asks harshly.

“Duh Zelda what else is a yellow liquid?” responds Link harshly.

“Piss is a yellow liquid,” says Zelda feeling smart for being able to come up with something.

“Oh yeah I’ve got a cup of piss that I’m drinking it’s so delicious,” Link says sarcastically.

“Link stop being a bitch you have no idea what the hell I’ve been through this past month.”

“A period and a haircut woopty fucking do, I’ve been through five hour fucking dungeons and don’t even get me started on the fucking water temple where I had to change the fucking water level a thousand fucking times.”

“It’s over link I hate you,” shouts Zelda almost crying.

“Good I would have died if I stayed with you any fucking longer,” Link says calmly.

“I can’t believe you just said that,” Zelda shouts furiously.

“I can, I prefer it when you were Sheik no when you were locked up in a castle,” Link says rudely.

Suddenly Link’s vision flashes and he sees a boy named Pit

“Hey link welcome to heaven,” Pit says softly.

“Wait are you trying to tell me this shit is real?” asks Link inquisitively.

“You took a lot of drugs…… Just roll with it for the sake of the joke.”

“Yeah okay sure,” Link says quickly.

“If you can resist temptation you can go home.”

“I can do what now if I what?”

Then sonic from nowhere appears

“Hey god what’s going on?”

Then another sonic comes then another then all in unison they all start saying “You’re too slow.”

“Must resist urge to kill,” Link says angrily then he says “Ahhhh shut up die you son of a bitch,”

Link then starts beating all three sonic’s to death when he finishes he says

“God damn they are annoying.”

Link starts to fall

“Oh god why am I falling what the fuck is going on here,” Link says this then three clones of Samus appear in front of him. “Hello.”

“Try me,” all three Samus’s say taunting Link.

Link suddenly wakes up in Zelda’s palace

“Hey Zelda did you see where that gun went ahh fuck it,” Link says then lay’s down.

“You have some serious problems you did drugs you slept with that skank in leather you tried to kill yourself.”

“I did what now,” Link says interrupting Zelda.

“You tried to kill yourself….”

Link cuts her off “No no before that.”

“You slept with that skank in leather….. you mean you don’t remember.”

“Oh MMOOTTHHEERR FFFUUUCCCKKKEEERRR!!!” shouts Link.

Just after Link shouts Kirby walks in

“Hey I’m two weeks sober aren’t you guy’s proud of me?”

“YOU, you and you’re fucking whatever the hell it was I will kill you.” Link starts chasing Kirby around then catches him and kills him then he turn to Zelda, “you let this happen! “ Then Link kills her as well. “Now I have to catch Samus she always gets away but I’ll get her this time without a doubt.”

“Yeah right Link you will never catch me,” Samus says then she passes out.

“Got you now Samus… And I heard something about me not catching you ever you a dumb bitch if you think I’d never be able to catch you, you stupid whore

The End……… for now but I’ll write the next one soon