Alone

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
I’m struggling right now and I writing helps me hanfle that, this is just an monologue of my feelings and the thoughts that run through my head late at night.

Submitted: March 20, 2019

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Submitted: March 20, 2019

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In a world with so many people I feel completely alone, 

I’m left and forgotten about, pushed back and easily replaced. 
I always put others first, never telling them their mistakes. The mistakes of mistreating me, leaving me, pushing me to the curb, making me be the one to make the effort, making me be the one to check up on them, I smile and I listen but deep down i’m ready to break, no one asks me how I am, no one bothers to pay attention. I want to drop the act. Loose the makeup. Show everyone my real face. Sadness, loneliness, abandoned, left, yet even then when it’s clear to see, no one will listen, no one will wipe my tears. Instead i’m left to brave it alone. 
Alone, alone, that word again, ringing through my ears. Haunting me and taunting me, knowing it’s what I’ve come to face. 
All my friends have left me, moved on and left me to wilt. 
I’m alone with my demons, alone with my thoughts, alone with myself.
I watch all the people who are happy, watching to imitate their face. Perhaps if I can do it too everything will go into place. 
Pretend to be happy, pretend to have hope and love around, pretend that i’m okay.
Put on the makeup, put on a smile, convince myself to get out.
Make others happy, make others laugh, not think about myself, let them make their mistakes,
Pretend I am not alone.
But after all of that i’ll go to bed and cry myself to sleep, nothing will change, no one will see, 
I am alone.


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