The Raccoon

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Raccoons just don't make good pets. Never have, never will.

Submitted: July 13, 2012

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Submitted: July 13, 2012

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"No momma, no" I screamed as I ran out into the backyard for protection. My collie named bullet, my best friend, my protector was always there in my time of need. He would stand up for me in any situation, even if it was time for a spanking. Of course, I had to come in to eat and my discipline was waiting... Like it or not.

Growing up, I always had a fascination with animals. I wanted them all to be pets. Every summer I would go for a two week trip to my grandmothers house. My uncle had a infatuation with raccoons. He was always trying to make a pet out of one. He would catch them as youngsters, hand feed them, love them and care for them but, it never worked. Raccoons are just inherently mean. As soon as they reached a certain age, the same thing always happened, the wild came back. He would let that one go and try again.

This was the early 70's in a small town. I was at my grandmothers and my youngest uncle was walking home from an errand to the convenience store on a small back road. When he finally got home my grandmother ran to the door to meet him yelling "what happened to you". Apparently, 3 or 4 older kids out raising hell, stopped in their car and got out and beat him up pretty bad.

After a full box of band aids and some motherly love, I could see the anger setting in. It was payback time.

I saw so much love go into these raccoons but, now I could see that the meanness in these raccoons was now going to shine. Donny, took an old suitcase and put his favorite raccoon inside the suitcase and off walking we went. We stooped at a place close to where he was beaten and he laid the suitcase close to the edge of the road. It was like he knew they would be back.

I don't think nowadays, I would stop for anything laying on The side of the road but, this was the early 70's and in this town most everybody was poor. Sure enough, in about 10 minutes here came a big 4 door car with a ton of chrome, so popular in those days. They drove just past the suitcase and then stopped, then backed up. One large boy stepped out and grabbed the suitcase and pulled it in. The door closed and off they went. They drove no more than 50 feet and the car screeched to a halt. Four doors opened and four guys piled out screaming, running for there lives.

My uncle and I watched and laughed so hard our sides hurt. A few minutes later here came that raccoon slowly, leisurely, taking his time waddling out of the car. Maybe, it's just my imagination but, that raccoon was laughing too.

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