A Warehouse Diary

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
You are Trapped in a warehouse. No way out. This story turns into something more as you uncover the secrets of the warehouse realm.

Submitted: July 27, 2010

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Submitted: July 27, 2010

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Chapter 1 Trapped

Day One

After an insane night of insane laser tag, I awoke and found myself in an abandoned warehouse with nothing but a shirt on. Ironically, it was an abandoned clothes warehouse. I walked around and tried to find a way out, but there was none. There were only the cold steel walls to confine me.

Day Two

There is a puddle in the corner that I’ve been forced to drink from. It’s greenish and tastes horrible. I wonder why there aren’t windows in this warehouse. Was it a sweat shop? Maybe this building was once an ipad assembling facility…Those poor, poor minimum wage employees.

Day Three

It is deadly silent in the warehouse. It really creeps me out. What lies on the other side of these walls? The outdoors, maybe? What if this is all there is and ever will be? What if the only thing in existence is this warehouse…

Day four

Today I began to think about what body parts I would eat first. Skin? Toes? Perhaps a tasty Ronald Reagan? Too bad I didn’t have a former president to munch on as a light snack. Only the cold steel walls to confine me that taste surprisingly like chicken. Mmmm… Re-enforced steel….

Day Five

Today I almost ate one of my toes, but I remembered that a person could live for about a month without food and sometimes even longer than that. It was crucial that I kept myself hydrated so that I didn’t pass out.

Day Six

Today I saw a mouse in the warehouse so I tried to trap it. I stood very still as the mouse slowly approached. I then jumped for it, but it was too fast. The mouse ran to the other side of the warehouse. It soon forgot about me and started scampering around. I took my shirt off and waited patiently. I had my shirt held between my hands, ready to cover and trap the rodent as soon as it dared come closer.

Day Seven

Today I wait patiently for the mouse to come close enough to capture. I see it scamper and I salivate. It scampers… closer… closer… too close! My 3-d glasses are messing with my head! I slap my shirt down and trap the mouse. “Hahahahahaha! I GOT YOU!!!” The mouse squirmed out of the shirt and ran away from me. My jaw dropped! I threw my shirt down and cursed in hatred. I saw the mouse run to the other side of the building and run out the door. I grew ever more confused. There was a DOOR? I was sure I scanned this entire building for exits. There was a blinding light coming from beyond the doorway. I ran across the building and through the door and found that the door went to another warehouse. It looked identical to the previous. I saw my shirt on the ground in this new warehouse. I turned around to go back through the door, and it was gone! I spun around frantically! I was now in another warehouse that looked identical to previous one! Was I going insane?

Day Eight

There was a door in the second warehouse that led to undeterminable location. I ran through the door and found that it lead to another warehouse that looked identical to the last, except there was a clown here. He looked evil.

“What’s your name, fatty?” I demanded “It” he said “That’s a stupid name.” I said, matter-o-factly. The clown started walking closer. He grabbed a knife from his belt and started walking towards me, all the while flailing it around in the air. “What the heck are you doing?” I demanded. He lunged at me with his knife, but I dodged his stab, kicked him in his back, and he fell to the ground. Then I jacked his knife and finished him off.

Day Nine

I ran through the next door and found the largest supply of billabong t-shirts I’ve ever seen. I waded through all the crappy t-shirts and got to the next door. I entered the door and I was in a warehouse that looked like one of the Who’s house from “Dr. Seuss’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas” I saw the Grinch dressed as Santa Clause shoving bags of Christmas presents up the chimney. Why in the heck would he shove the presents up the chimney? Why not out the front door? He seems lacking in the common sense department. Anyway… He walked into the kitchen and I heard a voice. I think it was the narrator.

“He slunk to the ice box” the narrator said “He eyed the Who’s feast! He eyed the Who done it, he eyed the Who beef. He cleaned out that ice box as quick as a flash! Why that Grinch even jacked their last can of whoop ass!”

Day Ten As I walk through door after door, I see weird things. Unexplainable things. Things like the invisible Snorlax I saw a few warehouses back, or the empty slushy machine before the invisible Snorlax. It’s hard living like this. I feel like I have no home. I want to just play some video games and hang out, but I’m trapped here for who knows how long.

Day Eleven

Today I passed through a warehouse that looked like the inside of an old navy retail store. “Ahhhh!” I screamed “Crappy plain clothing everywhere!” I ran to the door and entered the next warehouse. The new warehouse looked like a prison lunch room. I yelled food fight and everyone started fighting wildly! Screams were the only things I could hear. It was complete chaos. I ran under one of the lunch tables, and I survived with minimal wounds. Soon after all the criminals had settled down, I cautiously walked over to the lunch servers. It was prison food, but to me it looked like a feast! Wait a second… where have I seen a feast before…? And then I heard a mean old voice. “This is stab number one” the old Grinchy Clause hissed as he threatened the in-mates, shank in his fist. He grabbed a hostage, He said he’d slice our friend lynch, but if O.J. could do it then so could the Grinch. Hostage in hand he got out of jail, he then sent some letter bombs out in the mail. He committed some crimes, crossed all moral lines, and some fifteen year old punk started stealing his rhymes. >: I

Day Twelve

My first warehouse today was a music store. I smashed some drums, broke some guitars, and crammed 6 banjoes into a grand piano! Needless to say, I grabbed a guitar to play on the road. My next warehouse was an open field with mountains in the distance. I considered living here, but there was no food in sight, so I couldn‘t stay here indefinitely. Instead, I sat down, played guitar, and then went to the next warehouse.

Day Thirteen

I’m thinking a lot as I go from warehouse to warehouse. It’s a life of quiet randomness. I’ve thought about escape and have come to the conclusion that if I manage to escape this chain of warehouses, the shock of a warehouse-free environment would kill me. The only way for me to survive now is to hope that this chain of warehouses is in fact never ending. Sometimes I wonder how these warehouses were made, and who made them. I’ve often thought that this is sort of a matrix thing and I’m really just floating in a life support capsule, and all of these experiences are virtually simulated.

Matrix or no matrix, I had to soldier on and find food and water in the randomly generated warehouses ahead. I walked through the door in my current warehouse, and into the next. In this new warehouse, I found a wealth of old, broken down electronics. I sifted through the piles of old electronic devices and found an old tape player. I found a small pile of old tape deck tapes. One had some jazz on it. I kept it for later enjoyment. I then found some classic rock and some hard-core metal music and kept those too. I left the room with the tape player and my three tapes. This next room consisted of two leather chairs facing each other with a glass coffee table in between them. I then saw a bald, black man walk into the room. “Hello” he said. “Who are you?” I asked “My name is Morpheus. I’m here to offer you a choice.” he said all too seriously. “And what would that be?” I asked a little too sarcastically than was necessary. “A choice of life or virtual reality.” “Let me guess. I’m in the matrix.” I said. “How did you KNOW?!” he asked taken aback. “I’ve seen that movie. Do you have a red pill and a blue pill for me?” “I certainly do.” he said. He walked over to one of the leather chairs and sat down. “Please, sit down.” I did. “The red pill,” he continued “will wake you up in the real world. The blue pill will do nothing.” “If the blue pill does nothing, then why is it blue? Just for fun or what?” I asked “If you must know, I found it in the trash outside of a Mc. Donald’s.” “Will anything happen to me if I take it?” I ask suspiciously. “Heck if I know.” he said nonchalantly I took the red, pill not wanting to take any chances with my heath. Once I took it, things got dark. Really dark. Then, I was unconscious. Really unconscious…

Day Fourteen I woke up on an old fabric couch. The room around me looked somewhat run-down. The bald black man who called himself Morpheus walked into the room. He had with him a glass of water which he handed to me. “How are you feeling?” Morpheus asked. “Fine. Where am I?” I asked him as I took a drink of water. “You’re at my house.” “Ok. Ok. How did I get here?” “Everyone who lives in the matrix,” he explained “Is hibernating, hooked up to a life support system, and flying on a plane at the same time.” “Why the plane?” I asked? “Why NOT the plane?” “Oh boy. It all makes sense now.” I said sarcastically. “Shuttup.” Morpheus said. “Anyway… When you get unplugged from the matrix, you fall out of your life support system and into a heap on the airplane floor. Your body is then dropped off at the destination airport when they land, all the while unconscious. Once there, I picked your unconscious body up at the unclaimed baggage center.” “Oh. I see. So why did you unplug me from the matrix in the first place?” “Because you saw the Grinch in the matrix!” “And why does that matter?” I asked unimpressed. “There have only been two other people in history to see the Grinch in the warehouse matrix. They both had the minds to invent, innovate, and advance the human race further than ever done before!” “How much advancement are we talking about?” I asked “The first to see the Grinch created robots that could learn, choose, and have complex human emotions. Basically an artificial human.” Morpheus said. “Cool. So what did the second guy invent?” “He made worm whole travel possible by unlocking the fourth dimension and all its secrets.” “Amazing.” I said. “No. what is really amazing is that they only saw the Grinch once. You saw him twice. Once, in a who’s house, and another time, in a prison lunch room.” “The implications are implicating!!” I yelled. “They sure are.” Morpheus agreed.

Later that day, Morpheus and I brainstormed about how I could contribute the most to the human race. Nothing useful comes out of it, so we played some video games. After an hour of Mario Bros., and two cups of ramen noodles, it hit me! “I’ve got it!” I exclaimed. “What? The power up?” asked Morpheus. “Get your mind out of the video game! I’m talking about my history changing advancement for the human race!” “Oh. Yeah, ok. What is it?” “Don’t bother holding your breath, because I’ll just blow it away!” “Sure, Whatever. Now what is it?!” “I’m going to invent garbage!” “Are you kidding me? That has already been invented! And why would we want more garbage anyway? We have too much of it already!” Morpheus said, matter-of-factly. “I’m not talking about that every-day-garbage that you see on the streets, in the gutters, and in the ditches! No! I’m talking about sophisticated garbage that you could buy and sell! Even invest in!” I said! Knowing I had had a revelation! “Hold on there, Grinchy. You’re telling me that you want people to invest… in garbage?” “Oh, so my name is Grinchy now?!” “Yup. Why, don’t you like it?” “Like it? I love it!” “Great. Now back to my original point. You really expect people to invest in garbage?” “Not just any garbage, top-notch garbage!” “And who’s going to be the one to make this top-notch garbage?” Morpheus asked sarcastically “I will!” I said “I’ll build a garbage research/manufacturing facility!” Morpheus pondered this idea for a minute. “Well, if you think we should,” he said “Then I guess we should at least try it. Now that I think about it, the other two innovators who saw the Grinch in the matrix were not taken seriously for their ground breaking achievements in the beginning either.” “Interesting. Well, we should start on the trash project tomorrow.” I said, excited. “Agreed.” said Morpheus.


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