Twilight Facts that made Twilight the Grand Suckfest PART 1

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Time of Editing: 2hrs 14mins

This is the book reading report my cousin did for Twilight, and was marked with 89%. Surely a Jesuit School is open minded, as well as factual.

I just edited the reading report to my liking.

This is the first out of the three parts of the article.

Submitted: June 09, 2009

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Submitted: June 09, 2009

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ANTI-TWILIGHT ARTICLE


THIS IS A WARNING!




INSTRUCTION: this is an anti-twilight article. ANTI means against, defiant, or opposing to; hence this article is AGAINST of Twilight.


NOTE: I doubt the warning and instructions can keep those kinds of people from this page, hence I simplified the elucidations.

 

Repeat: Simplified the explanations

Further Note: Read the summary



Twilighters are still categorized as:
CATEGORY A
= the twilight lovers that are obsessed.
CATEGORY B = twilight lovers who are mature and rationale, not much obsessed though still likes twilight. I don’t mind this category, and I respect their ways.
CATEGORY AA = Category A who are annoying.


REALITY:
-Not everyone likes Twilight
-People who like Twiilght have to and must agree that there are two sides of a coin, and there are people who hate Twilight for a lot of reasons.
-Twilight is vampire heresy.
-Twilight is fiction
-Twilight has turned into a religion (cited by the previous article)
-It’s not just me; a lot of websites stated about hating twilight…not that I am obliged to tell it here.


FANTASY:
-Everyone loves Twilight
-Twilight is the book of the decade
-Twilight is the ultimate love story

-Edward Cullen and Bella Swan are truly in love

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First, Vampire Heresy

Heresy(1) opinion or doctrine at variance with the orthodox or accepted doctrine; (2) any belief or theory that is strongly at variance with established beliefs, customs, etc.

I think it’s already well-explained from those definitions that twilight is a vampire heresy. People who give rationale about this fact simply don’t just get it.


Example, if you enroll on a mythology subject, the exam comes and a question states that “Do vampires walk in daylight?”;
You answer might just be likely, “Yes, they even sparkle.”, do you think you’ll get a point out of that?


FACTS

These are the facts that will support my articles (courtesy of Ariessynth) Twilight has turned into Religion and Twilight is lame, stupid, and you know it. It's the truth, the reality well:



-There is a load of anti-twilight people and materials off the internet; BUT they are not enough to match the wave of twilight lovers.
-Vampires don’t sparkle—if they do, they can fill the world with rainbows and unicorns, even pixies.


First Topic


The Plot:


Bella goes into the place, Forks, Washington with his dad. She left her mom because…(I don’t care about the details). She goes into school…and meets Edward. Edward is not even popular at school, Bella thought why everyone didn’t notice him. They interact, and has found out Edward’s a (fake) vampire, which from the ongoing pages, it was mentioned he will sparkle. She found out that he’s a vamp when Edward saved her from that car coming at her…which is, if it weren’t for her clumsiness. That made Bella fall in love (which is a lame reason) with Edward. Edward fell in love in return, and a scene from the movie almost went to sex (so, is this the main reason why a lot of people like Twilight?). He hungers for her blood, obviously (this is the only factor that states Edward is really a vampire, secondary to being a faggot.) Another set of vampires came and attempts to eat Bella (Of course, it’s their nature), their only reason if I think, for sport, and second, they are vampires…closer to what real vampires do; thus Edward rescues her (for the sake of common sense or to end the whole first book of nonsense—he has to rescue her.) and there you go, the end of twilight story.


It has sequels which all of you know, the books new moon, eclipse, and breaking dawn.



The Result:
-There’s nothing much going on, right?
-The book ended with more or less 400 or 500 pages worth of that insignificant story.
-The book is focused on two characters alone, Edward and Bella—and the rest of the other characters as mannequins.


Love V.S. Infatuation


Love: profound tender, passionate affection for a person
Infatuation: foolish or all-absorbing passion; an unreasoning or extravagant passion; state of being completely carried away by an extravagant passion.

Defense of twilight lovers: twilight is a romantic love story novel
Answer: Do you think what Bella Swan is doing is an act of love? Edward Cullen keeps abusing her mentally and emotionally, is that love?


Other Defenses:

REAL FACT:
Let's cut to the chase—no descriptions of Bella’s ways, Edward’s ways, no or just an ample amount of adjectives and adverbs about Edward’s beauty, yeah he’s beautiful, even Bella said it.

Well, with all those unnecessary words taken, Robert Langdon’s pamphlet he wanted so much on Angels and Demons would even be thicker than this Twilight story that made approximately 500 pages worth. Simply, by equivalent ratio, that’s approximately 496 pages worth of nonsense, and 2 pages worth of the summary. (actual no. of pages = 498)



Adjective Definition: defines a noun; simply, any word that defines.
Adverb Definition: modifies a verb, adjective, or other adverbs.



Where are the Adjectives and Adverbs MOSTLY Used:

For Edward Cullen, of course.
His:
face, eyes, smile, teeth, voice, breath, laughter, scent, chest, movement, muscles, skin, limbs, handwriting, and driving skills (what kind of driving? Lol.)


Reality Check: Have you read erotic novels? They are very much the same as how to define a person, starting from the head. It’s what sensual novels are meant for.


Please: kiss a granite, marble, or limestone, and if it makes you faint, then I guess Bella Swan is right when she said about Edward’s lips are similar to those types of stones, it’s cold and similar to a marble, hard (what does she mean, “hard” what part of him is “hard” a lol joke) and whatever else she stated.



If kissing a marble is also great and tempting, please share your experiences.



Why is it Plotless?


-obviously, there’s no book that has that kind of plot summary, which you can call as definite. A good book worth 500 pages with definite plot can all the way point and rationalize the story well enough (eg. Harry Potter series, the first 100 pages of the sorcerer’s stone already stated what Harry is to become).

Twilight, which has 498 pages didn’t even make sense until the 350th page out of the 498 pages (some people say 372nd page), as mentioned from a website (not cited).


It’s like with the first 350 pages; the reader will keep on wondering if this Edward, the so-called vampire will eat Bella, that’s all.

(I’ve seen something similar to this; I think it’s Tom and Jerry? You will wonder if Tom will eat Jerry during the first minutes of the show. Tom & Jerry is far more entertaining in reality.)

With the adjectives and adverbs on Edward’s look, you cannot call that as the plot of the story.



Plot Definition: aka Storyline; it keeps the main story focused. It also keeps the story dramatic for the literature.

Twilight made it dragging; it’s not dramatic at all; as dragging as you’re using a car to pull a jet plane.

Second (a.) Topic


Edward Cullen is a faggot:

The definition of a faggot isn’t necessarily meant as a third sex or a woman trapped in a man’s body, or a man acting as a girl and thinks he’s a girl. Therefore, you do know that a lot of words can come up with multiple meanings or terms? “Faggot” is one of those terms.


Any guy can be called faggots or gays whenever they lost the appeal that makes them guys or males.


Fag, gay, girly, all these words define how impractical or ludicrous he must have looked like. Here are a few lines Bella Swan proudly stated that made him look more of a “beautiful Edward Cullen” that the twilight lovers liked and loved:



"I couldn’t imagine how an angel could be any more glorious."
-Whatever. A man compared to an angel is just as “fagging”. Let’s just say Edward is more handsome than an angel—yeah…right…whatever. This novel is plainly rumbling about words with no research regarding the meanings, such as what is an angel and what is a vampire.


"He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare." (Along with the I don’t know how many pages these definitions have been repeated)
-Perfectly still…that’s what a marble statue is, alright. Sculpted, incandescent, scintillating—yeah, he’s glowing! Glow in the dark. That’s why, “Maybe he’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline.”


"The meadow, so spectacular to me at first, paled next to his magnificence."
-It really states Edward is beautiful. Well, Bella is always snobbish to what the nature is, like she mentioned that Forks was just all green. She’s one of the people you can call plastic, hence superficial + a Mary Sue Character.



"Because, through the heavy water, I heard the sound of an angel calling my name, calling me to the only heaven I wanted."
-Whatever. Are you on drugs, Bella Swan?



The adverbs and descriptions about him made it more gay-ish, for example, how come, if he’s a vampire, let’s say with vampiric nature, ever get to be so lame?


Vampire Definition is too broad, but all vampires should be ruthless, and blood thirsty.

To continue on Part two of Twilight Facts that made Twilight the Grand Suckfest



© Copyright 2020 GV Slayer. All rights reserved.

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