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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic

Searching and searching but not knowing what you're looking for can open your eyes to a world you didn't know about before.

Art by Niken Anindita


To travel,

to see

what is really me,

to try and fill up the pages,

to plan it all out

and wander about

is what I’ve been needing for ages,

an ocean,

a sea,

a vision of peace,

a suitable place to be,

an island,

a house,

a hole for a mouse,

the cat from which I have to flee,

the winter,

the chill

in my cabin of shrill,

just trying to hold in the warmth,

the snowflakes outside,

they float and they glide,

destined to land on the wharf,

a boating,

a dock,

a hand on the clock,

a mission that I’m never on,

the rising,

the fall,

the pain of it all,

an eagle amongst all the fawn,

the sunset,

the night,

the feeling of fright,

the urge that I sense to explore,

a problem I fight

until dawn’s early light,

the hands and the claws I ignore,

I know it’s all dreams

as to who’s really me,

and I’m sure I’ll never find trust,

but as far as I know,

I’ll never let go,

I’ll keep hold of my wanderlust.

Submitted: September 20, 2015

© Copyright 2022 H. Adams. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


J. Edgar Cooper

A very well-thought out poem here Hanorbi. As always, your pieces are beautifully crafted and you always seem to take a lot of time in thinking about the content of them and the words you use. What really drew me to your piece Hanorbi, was the title summary ‘Searching and searching but not knowing what you are looking for,’ because although you put this as fantasy, this is a line that really does ring true to me and it’s something I can certainly relate to. I find myself in that situation quite a lot just lately, particularly with my work. I just feel that I’m on a never-ending search for the unknown, for that which I cannot seem to see. I guess it’s like knowing that a loved one has gone missing and you know that they are out there in the world somewhere, but you don’t have the slightest clue of where to even begin the search or where to look… All you know is that they are out there somewhere. What I did like though was the bit where you mentioned ‘But not knowing what you’re looking for can open your eyes to a world you didn’t even know about before.’ I really like this sentiment because you’re absolutely right. If we search and search but do not know what we are truly looking for can actually open our eyes to something completely new, a world that we didn’t know about before and I think that’s the beauty of sometimes not knowing exactly what it is which we search for, that we sometimes come across things that we’d have never of thought of before. I like the beginning of the poem where you say “To travel, to see what is really me,” because it comes across as this idea of going on a journey, travelling in order to try and understand the self, to understand what it is we are looking for and maybe even asking the question of who we are. I’ve been wanting to travel for quite some time now and I’ve always wondered if taking time out to travel somewhere new would in-fact allow my passions and desires and that ‘purpose’ to rise from the depths of my soul and maybe it would maybe it wouldn’t, it’s an unknown probability but there’s always a chance that by doing so, we can become the person and do the thing which we have longed for for so long. “To try and fill up the pages, to plan it all out and wander about is what I’ve been needing for ages,” also seems to relate back to the idea of trying to find the thing which we are searching for, to search for answers and to try and understand the reason behind our search. I really liked the way you spoke about “An ocean, a sea, a vision of peace, a suitable place to be, an island, a house.” I love the way you include such imagery and how ‘the ocean and the sea and a vision of peace’ bring a real sense of calm to the piece, like a temporary release from the constant question of what is it that I look for. I think we can always look to the natural world for peace of mind and a way of trying to attain answers to the questions which we hold. I like the way in which you talk about the ocean and the sea and the island and then talk about “The winter, the chill in my cabin of shrill, just trying to hold in the warmth,” because there’s that contrast which ties in lovely I feel with the title summary, the idea that we can be in search of that unknown part of life that we desperately seek and yet, our search can take us through many different experiences and many different places that we might not expect ourselves to be part of. One part of your poem that stood out to me Hanorbi, was the part which read “The rising, the fall, the pain of it all.” When I read that, it’s almost as though there is a sense that we rise when we feel we are on the path to finding the answer we seek and then we get times whereby we fall and we seem to be further away from the answer than what we thought, or that the answer might not be the one ‘true’ answer that we are really looking for on our quest through life. The fact you mention ‘Pain of it all’ conveys just that, the pain we feel at the rise and fall of our hopes at attaining and catching that illusive piece of life that we seek. What I also liked was the part where you wrote “The feeling of fright, the urge that I sense to explore, a problem I fight until dawn’s early light.” For me, this conveys the idea that there’s always conflict between our thoughts and our desires. Like how you mention ‘The feeling of fright’ but then ‘The urge that I sense to explore.’ Just like how there is the idea of having an angel on the one side and a devil on the other, we become torn in a way as to what it is that we really want to do. I want to do this, but will this happen? I want to go here, but if I do will things be how I want them to be? Such questions really do put us in a bit of a pickle at times and sometimes it’s hard to know what decision is truly the best. I loved your ending Hanorbi and I like the fact that mentioned “I’ll never let go, I’ll keep hold of my wanderlust.” I think it’s important that you don’t lose your longing for travel and to see new seas and to visit new lands. I’ve longed to travel and have day-dreamed about just packing my bags and visiting a few different countries, to experience another culture and another way of life and customs and beliefs and ideas and to hopefully make new friends. I’d love to save up and go somewhere for a while, so that I can say to myself that I have achieved something which I have wanted to achieve for quite some time and I’m hoping to maybe visit next year. It’s important I feel to have goals or aims in place when it comes to wanting to travelling, so it keeps you motivated and so you don’t lose sight of that dream. Wow, an incredible piece once again Hanorbi! I don’t know how you keep writing all these superb pieces but you must have special ability or something! They’re really good my friend and this one in-particular is excellent. An extremely well thought-out, crafted and descriptive poem. Your rhyming flows in such an elegant manner and I think it’s something that many more should have a look at and read! Really well done Hanorbi and I hope that I didn’t waffle on too much and sort of go off on a bit of a rant, but it’s nice to read pieces like yours, where you can really look in-depth and look deeper at the ideas and the words used within a piece to see what makes it work and what makes it such a good poem. Take great care Hanorbi and have a wonderful day! Thank you very much for sharing this. :D

Sun, September 20th, 2015 9:33am


Thank you, James, as always a fantastic comment. I'm glad it was relatable, I sometimes love searching for something unknown or even just pondering what the unknown may be. I also want to travel :D Can't right now, don't have the money nor the time, but I really really want to. I thought the line that talked about pain could be very interpretive, and I really love your interpretation. There's good and bad in life and you just have to get over both hills. I hope you get to travel someday. The idea of experiencing different cultures and ways of life sounds so cool to me. Thank you for the praise, I love the little rant you had! I hope you too have a wonderful day. May it be filled with happiness and joy :)

Sun, September 20th, 2015 7:51am

James Scott

I know nothing about Poetry, and rarely feel anything when i read it. But i read your whole poem and I am really impressed by the flow of the whole thing. It was oddly satisfying to hear myself read it aloud. I must be flow, it's really catchy. Good job bud!
-James Scott

Sun, September 20th, 2015 9:20pm


Oh, didn't know you weren't so into poetry. Glad you liked it even with that in mind, it was satisfying to read for me too :) lol, thank you!

Wed, September 23rd, 2015 3:12pm

Jeff Bezaire

A well crafted poem, Hanorbi. Beautifully constructed, great imagery! I particularly like the line: "an eagle amongst all the fawn." The picture is also fantastic, as usual. :D I always love reading your stuff.

Mon, September 21st, 2015 4:23pm


I always end up finding the coolest pictures... I'm glad you agree. That line worked too well, I just needed a rhyme and put that and I'm not sure how it fits as good as it does. Your work is also a pleasure to read; once I sort through the tons of requests I've gotten I'm gonna get back to it! Thanks as always :)

Wed, September 23rd, 2015 3:15pm

Mr Watson

You created scene after scene. your desire to travel took me on a great journey of imagery. Well done Hanorbi.

Wed, September 23rd, 2015 7:49pm


Thank you, Mr Watson. It's my goal to take the reader on a vivid journey through lands of different experiences :)

Sat, September 26th, 2015 8:26pm


Very entertaining. I kinda had a feeling it wasn't going to be about sexual lust. I liked the "hole for a mouse" idea. Mice need holes.

Wed, September 23rd, 2015 11:05pm


Definitely not sexual lust. I'm way too young to get into that genre. Everyone deserves a home, even the mice! Glad you liked it.

Sat, September 26th, 2015 8:28pm

Keke Serene

I really enjoyed this, the tone was so playful but serious at the same time, yknow (well obv u know bc u wrote this lol) I can def relate to this bc I feel like in traveling the word and really seeing what all the world entails, with not just sights and sounds (like the snowflake) but also emotions... Ultimately through experiencing life to its fullest, you get the chance to create yourself... And doesn't that sound amazing? I for one, am going on a road trip as soon as I graduate, to celebrate my life and work at creating myself, and finding what matters, as I feel the writer is doing in this poem. Well done!

Tue, September 29th, 2015 12:01am


i wanted to get the whole package (sights, sounds, feelings, etc) so it's nice to know that i succeeded. holy crap, so do i! right now it's just an unreachable dream but i'm hoping that when i get a job i can find the money to go to different places around the world. i wish you all the luck i have in fulfilling that wish. thanks for the wonderful comment!

Mon, September 28th, 2015 5:53pm

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