Pure Confusion (Part 2)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic
With the night through, Ben realizes the situation he has put himself in. And in an odd way, he begins to like it. But someone crashes the party...

Submitted: July 19, 2009

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Submitted: July 19, 2009

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What had I done? What had my mind allowed me to do? It was a mistake; it wasn’t supposed to happen. …but it did, unfortunately…it think. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to do. But I could never forget what I’ve done. The morning sun woke me from my deep, dark nightmare. It was of Hail and I. He called me while I was eating dinner. When I ran to his house, he confessed that he loved me, as I confessed that I loved him back. I couldn’t resist it. The feelings were always going to be there. They were just nested within me, not quite hatched yet. I wasn’t aware of my surroundings. I’ve never waken up to them. My eyes weren’t adjusted to the point of complete recognition; they were still blurred from sleep. But I could still see colors. I looked up at the unknown ceiling¾dark blue. I looked over to my left-digital clock; it was one in the afternoon. Then, I looked over to my right-HAIL! No! I thought to myself. This can’t be! The dream was…it was…it was REAL! My body couldn’t react. The only change happened with my eyes-they became wider with surprise. I was paralyzed by the reality of what I’ve become; of what I’ve really done. I was also paralyzed by fear-fear of waking Hail and facing the actual reality. I laid there, staring at the dark blue ceiling. My mind wouldn’t even think properly. I remember daydreaming about fish. Fish and dominoes. How long would it stay this way? How long would he remained sleep? How long before Jaz busted through the doors? Completely predicted, Hail began to wake. He stretched and yawned and released. My body tensed. I tried to fake as if I were sleep, but my mild case of the shakes gave it away. He caressed my cheek. “Good morning. We had a night, didn’t we?” I was angry all too quick. “Hail, why would you allow for something like this! You know I wouldn’t hurt Jaz! What’s your problem! And you’re…you’re a guy! I don’t kiss guys. I don’t-” “Well, you did last night,” he interrupted my rant. “Listen, it’s okay. We’ll just go back to normal. Nothing never happened here, okay?” I threw the covers off of me, beginning to hop out of his¾oh so comfortable-bed, but I threw them back on… “Hail,” I spoke through my teeth, my breathing visible, “why am I…naked?” He laughed. “B-” I turned and punched him in the face, wiping away his smile. “What the hell is your damn problem?!” My voice broke, tears began. “Ow,” he groaned. “What the-” I punched him again. “Shut up! I don’t even want to hear your voice!” He didn’t try to speak. He didn’t make a sound. “Now, I want to know one thing. What did I do last night?” I felt the smile grow across his face, his enjoyment radiating. “Well, listen-” He began. “Shut…the…hell…up! What did I do?! Nothing else!” I never turned to even look him in the eye. He exhaled, chagrin his emotion. “It wasn’t you. It was me,” he whispered. Was he shamed? Nope, probably not. I shook my head, confused. “What do you mean? Elaborate! Hurry before-” I was about to say, Hurry before I punch you again!, but he cut me off. “No need for all of that. Just listen. “Last night we spoke and kissed. That was it, but you got angry and began to leave.” He turned his head toward the door. “I hit you over the head with my two-by-four. Knocked you out cold.” I laughed and shook my head. Not because that was at all funny, because I was so close to punching him again. Then, I would get the two-by-four and…well, murder him, really. He deserves it. He laughed too, taking my gesture wrong. I turned, almost punching him, but he stopped me. “Then while you were sleep, I went crazy. I couldn’t resist.” I laughed again, harder this time. “Hail, you raped me!” The anger in my voice caused the both of us to shudder. “You took my innocence!” “Sorry,” he whispered. I smiled. “For what,” I accidentally let out. “For-” But before he could continue it was on. I had him pinned down as he had me-his arms and legs under mine. My body was naked…and on top of him. “It’s my turn. But I don’t need a two-by-four. You’ll do what I want you to,” I commanded. I didn’t like it at all. I didn’t like myself at all. I didn’t like the new pleasure I got from this. But I couldn’t stop myself… It went on for a while, even after climax, for both of us. I’d completely lost track of time. Before I knew it, it was three in the afternoon. We were having-I shuddered; my mind wouldn’t allow the word-for two hours straight. Wow! He noticed my thinking face. “Problem?” I looked down into his eyes and became angry all over again. “Shut up before I black your other eye!” I remained hovering over him. He winced. “Please, no,” he begged. I rolled over and he flinched. Good, he’s scared of me now. I was still naked. I was still bared. I was still raped. I was still here. I was still…in love with him. At the thought, someone knocked on the door. Knock, knock, knock! They were loud and urgent. I swiftly turned my head and looked Hail in his eyes. They were calm, unconscious of what was happening. “Hail,” I hissed through my teeth, “someone is-” But before I could finish the sentence, there she was. Jaz’ eyes were tearful. The pain flowed from them. But how did she know? How would did the truth reach her? “Ha-Be-Wh-Ho-No,” was all she could get out. “I’m sorry,” she yelled. I didn’t understand. Why was she apologizing? What’s going on? Yet again…I’m paralyzed by the hold of pure confusion…


© Copyright 2020 Hakiem Berry Doche. All rights reserved.

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