The time I was told this in secret, was from my mom. I didn’t understand what she said till now. I’m a horrible person. I regret what I’ve done to you.. Hope you are well.. Hang in there.. I can’t see you or tell you these words, but I’m going to work my hardest, and live for you. When I told my brother about this I couldn’t stop crying, I imagined myself in the little girl’s shoes..
Remembering how she was always smiling and wanting to be a part of things.. She’s only six… Her parents divorced after her father lost his job.. Her mother was power and money hungry, and decided, I don’t need you. Her mother had kicked him out of the house, and left him with nothing. He couldn’t even see his own daughter anymore; she was that of a mother, thinking it’d be safer for their daughter to stay with her, or really the person who has custody over her, in fact. The little girl sleeps on the sofa, because she’s too afraid to sleep in her room, without her father to tell her,” good night Chelsea.” And tell her that things are going to be okay. She slept on the sofa for another reason, her father comes to visit her, and she quietly opens the door for him, crying out loud, the tears she couldn’t shed.. Letting out the pain she felt, not being able to see her father. She cried in her father’s arms, and told him over and over again, “I miss you daddy, I love you..” For that’s all she could ask.. They could only spend a few moments with each other..
And her father had to leave, and later on, we find out that her father has been living/sleeping in our gym, on the sofa.. Only being able to see your daughter you know you have, ‘it’s okay,’ and ‘I love you,’ maybe it was all he could make through his mouth, but.. He still lied to her.. Who knows what the little girl is going through, but her father left to Vietnam, and has not returned since, trying to find a new wife, start over, or just trying to fill in the empty void, where his daughter is suppose to be, in his arms, by his side, somewhere he could easily say,” I love you too, Daddy’s here now…”
I wish I was a better person towards Chelsea. I was her role-model, the only person she wanted to pick her up, and say the words she longed for.. She was always happy, around me, but I feel guilty, and sad.. For I was the one she wanted, the one to understand her, and let her cry in my arms, for her father had left her, with her mother, which to me, is a b*tch. I can’t tell Chelsea these words, for her mother doesn’t let her go to martial arts, thinking we’d kidnap her or some stupid reason. But when we meet again, Chelsea.. I promise, no, I swear to you.. I will be a better person, and lend you a shoulder to cry on or an ear to let you let out whatever you need to, you have suffered enough. You may or may not understand what’s going on right now.. I’m sorry, that you can’t rely on me.. Or you couldn’t when you needed me.. Counted on me… You stretched out your hand, but I didn't grasp it in time..
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