I Still Love You, J.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A love letter I would love my ex-boyfriend, my first real boyfriend to read..u

Submitted: November 01, 2011

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Submitted: November 01, 2011

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Dear J.,

I'm writing this because on November 27th, it would have been a year for us.. I hope you like my letter. I think I still love you, but I know you feel nothing for me.

It all started in fifth grade. You'd just move here. I was drawn to you by your eyes. Although I never spoke to you, I fell in love with you. A puppy love. You were crazy and wonderful. And you sat in front of my best friend, Summer. She'd tell me things about you, and we'd whisper, laugh, and giggle about gossip of my crush on you. I thought you hated me. But, later you told me you thought the same about me.

You never felt affection for me, never not once. Until the day I sent you an IM over the computer by accident in 7th grade. But if it wasn't for that little mistake, we would've never been. We chatted for about an hour when I decided to tell you about the crazy crush I'd had on you since 5th grade. And although we'd still never talked, you looked through my pictures and told me I was beautiful. I was shocked at this and thanked you repeatidly, my cheeks flowing red with joy. I remember the moment, we asked eachother out. And I updated my relationship status. You updated yours. It was crazy.. Very crazy. 

At this point I hadn't truly loved you yet, but the first month went smoothly and we went on a date with our friends. My ex-best friend was dating yours. We were all best friends, and it was the  best months of my life. I honestly fell in love with you by the fourth or fifth date. You were perfect. You accepted me. We laughed, and had more and more fun. You became my best friend and I never wanted to lose you. When we kissed it felt like magic and whenever we touched I blushed immensley. Just feeling your body heat had me in the most perfect move.

Your family was crazy, and I love all of them. We were inseperable the first few months. I noticed a change at the beginning of this past summer. You changed. What happened? We slowly drifted apart and I would try and get us together, setting dates, inviting you places, but you were too busy. Too busy for me? You said you loved me. I cried every night, wanting you, missing you, loving you.

The last time I thought things were still perfect was July 4th, 2011. We watched fireworks together. It was great. I loved being with you, watching the sparkles of firey lights dancing in the air. But it all changed. Quickly, it changed. I still cry and think about this. I wonder if you think of me. I wonder if you regret ending what we had.

I remember whenever it ended. I was a horrible mess. I wept for hours of the day. Weeks on weeks. And now its been about two months. I still cry about it. The first breakup was my birthday, but the real thing that ended us that was two months ago. I miss you, your kisses, your love, your everything.

I want to cuddle you again, I want to love you again. I want you to love me again.

But you won't.

We never will.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. I wanted to share memories, think about you.

My favorite memory is hard to decide. We rarely fought. I liked our conversations that lasted hour on hour without end. You would beg me to stay up until sometimes 4 in the morning to talk to you. And I did. I did because I loved you. But You don't love me. You never did. You lied.

 

Sincerely, Hanna.

 


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