Chapters

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: 'The Odd Ones'
A short fictional piece inspired by the Death Parade OST "Memories".

Music Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UWl1YyUufo

Submitted: March 24, 2016

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Submitted: March 24, 2016

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Sometimes I regret meeting you.

 

Maybe if we hadn't met, if we had never talked on that first day,

you would’ve been okay,

living,

breathing,

feeling with me,

seeing with me,

experiencing with me,

and now I know how foolish I was.

 

You died, and I didn’t

and I haven’t fully accepted that,

and I haven’t understood that you were the one

who was meant to die,

because you were ready

and I wasn’t.

 

You made the most of your days

while I didn’t,

and that’s why I’m here and you’re not.

 

I don’t know why I regret meeting you sometimes.

 

Maybe I think that things would’ve turned out differently

if we had never met,

that you would’ve survived

and lived

and you would’ve seen more than what we could’ve ever seen together,

and you would’ve experienced more,

because you deserved it,

and I didn’t.

 

That thought’s gone now.

 

I’ve realized that we never stopped smiling.

 

When you were hurt,

broken,

angry,

defeated,

depressed,

hiding,

frightened,

afraid,

you were still smiling.

 

When you were tired,

sore,

achy,

sleepy,

smoking,

shouting,

sneezing,

you were still smiling.

 

When all hope was lost,

when you were sad,

crying, even,

sobbing into my shoulder,

blowing your nose into every tissue you could find,

you were still smiling.

 

And when we were together,

calm,

peaceful,

excited,

hopeful,

insightful,

happy,

you were still smiling.

 

And you know what?

 

So was I.

 

Not one of those moments that we spent together

coloring books meant for children,

eating cookies like kings,

decorating our tree during the holidays,

talking about having kids,

learning that you were sick,

buying a present for your sister,

realizing you were infertile,

flying kites at the beach,

drinking hot cocoa on the balcony,

cleaning blood from the carpets,

listening to the thunder outside,

or talking to you on the day that we met

is a moment that I regret.

 

I regret nothing.

 

You know why?

 

If anything we did together didn’t happen,

we wouldn’t have had fun,

or enjoyed life,

or smiled.

We wouldn’t have gone on a journey,

and even though you won’t be here to experience my end,

I was there to experience yours.

 

I’ve read your last chapter.

 

Your last chapter was beautiful,

magical,

expertly written,

and created by an author who deserves to be known worldwide,

even though she never will be.

 

I was there,

next to your hospital bed,

holding your hand,

wiping away your tears,

saying those three special words,

and promising…

 

promising that no matter what,

I wouldn’t regret what we had.

 

I intend on keeping that promise,

with every bone in my being,

with every soul that I have

even if I only have one,

and with all the love in the world,

because it’s time for me to finish writing my book.

 

And I’m hoping that someday, 

 

somewhere, 

 

wherever you may be, in whatever world,

 

you’ll be able to read my final chapter.


© Copyright 2017 Hanorbi. All rights reserved.

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