IT ENDS TO BEGIN AGAIN

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
it is an intense love story which is beautifully narrated.

Submitted: January 05, 2015

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Submitted: January 05, 2015

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IT ENDS TO BEGIN AGAIN!

 

Dad … Dad’ shouts my ten years old daughter right into my ears as I am constantly looking at my laptop trying to get my budget right for the month.

Yes, me Veer,  a business man 37 years of age , quite a successful one you can say which I can be proud of not because am successful but because am doing what I love to. I have a beautiful kid, an amazing wife( I know not many say that that too after 11 years of marriage), a well settled life, a super-bonded friend too. So, well one can say I have a life where I can’t complain about.

errr… yes’ I reply to my daughter not giving much of an attention to her callings.

Dad I have a question she now tucking under my shirt desperately seeking my attention.

What’s it?’ quite annoyed by now.

Many of my friends including my teacher asks me why I am named Michelle when I am hindu that too a tamilian she asked with her eyes wide open.

Now this question of hers distracted me from my work. I closed my laptop. i knew someday I had to answer this question to her. After all it was her name and she needed an explanation. We are a hindu family and everyone in the family were shocked when I named her ‘Michelle’. My wife dint object though coz she knew the reason. Everyone else did but that dint restrain me from keeping the name. Most of them in my family called her different names. But in the all her records it had her name and that’s what really matters.

Why do you think I kept the name sweet heart? i asked her with a wide grin.

Maybe because you liked the name dad?’ with her innocent expression which took me a nineteen  years back.

Its because I loved the girl who had the name I clarified her question.

She seemed puzzled. All these years of her growing up I had told her I loved her the most in the world. And now when she heard there was another one with the same name she frowned a little bit.

But still I love you the most I said to calm her down. And then she relaxed a bit and sat comfortably on my lap waiting to hear a story. It’s a just a story for her but it was almost a life for me.

First day of my three years college life and I was adjusting to the environment and trying to find a friend with whom I could spend my college life with or probably a whole life. The class started and the professor  seemed grumpy. It wasn’t a good start but we had to deal with it. The class had started after the introductory session. Ten minutes  had gone by .The boring lecture had already made an impact on many. It was quite a gloomy day too, it would have rained anytime. She entered in. She was late for the class on the first day.

She was shabbily dressed and her hair all over her face. She was panting. Her shoes were muddy. Her bag was in an awkward position. Still she was cute. As she brushed her hair aside, her fragile face with some priceless cute expressions.  Her eyes were very powerful . It could have attracted even the least non-magnetic substance.

‘ummm …. Excuse me ma’am.’ She stammered trying to get her breath to normal.

Youare late on the very first day. Shows your interest in your studies’ the professor high on her voice.
 

Ma’am, I was trying to be a little impressive on the first day. Trying to choose my dress took me longer than trying to find out the classes and the bus I came in wasn’t that fast either.’ She said in a confident tone.

Doesn’t look like you took long to choose your dress.’ professor looking at her dress and so did all the students looking at her shabbily dressed style and everyone laughed silently mocking at her.

Had I got a little more time I would have dressed a bit better she dint give up.

Take your seat was all that the professor told.

I admired her as she stood there right next the professor scanning the class and trying to get the right place to sit in. She dint have a place actually. There was a deserted desk at the very end probably broken. I was seated at the second bench and none of the boys chose to sit next to me as it was very close ,so that was an option and there was one in last row in which the boys were seated. She was just gazing just waiting for someone to help. Finally the help came.

‘Sit next to this guy as of now’ the professor pointing towards me.

It was awkward. She dint know how to react neither did i. There was an awkward silence and finally the professor interrupted again.

‘I will change it at the end of the period. You have already wasted ten minutes of my time’ in her stern voice.

She came over and sat next to me. It was a dream come true for me. I had 30 minutes and I was excited but was tensed too. I dint want to flop it. I stayed numb. The professor continued with the class. From the corner of my eyes I fixed my gaze upon her.  She took another ten minutes to take her stuffs out, to arrange it, to brush her strand of hair falling over her face, to make sure her dress was proper and finally she was done. I dint know by then that my next three years would revolve around her .I felt the place next to her belonged to me not just for now but for the whole life.I already dreamt of sitting next to her and listening to the lecture with the dust of chalk suffocating us. It wasn’t that romantic but it was worth it.

Days passed quicker than it actually should have. My routine was to find out her routine. I used all my school experiences and did all I can to find her whereabouts. But I made sure I dint let it get noticed. I found many things about her. In fact I found out almost everything. One thing was she never spoke to anyone unless and until she makes sure they are worth trusting. She caught me staring at her once or twice. I stare at her almost all day so whenever she turned back she could see me stare. So which means she just turned back once or twice that too not to look at me. But even that caused butterflies in my tummy and goose bumps all over my body.

I knew I was in love and I dint know where to start but I had to start. Maybe not right away but I had to.

It was already six months after the college had started and with one semester already over. She stood 6th in the class and I couldn’t even stand next to her let alone the class. I dint get noticed. I dint know  even if she knew a creature like me existed in her class. Her cute face had the cutest of dimples. I used to wait all day long to have a glimpse of the dimple but It happened very rarely because it shows only when she smiles and she NEVER smiles. Damn !

Dad wait ….wait………’ interrupted my daughter.

‘errr…What ?’ I stammered getting back to the present.

Did you ever speak to her? asked my sweetest daughter in her sweetest voice.

I did I said blankly.

When…where..how..what did she say?’ she shot questions at me.

At the end of my college life I said a bit ashamed.

What? You mean after three long years?’ she was literally shocked.

‘Yes… I knew everything about her , almost everything. I had her number but couldn’t call, I had her address but I couldn’t go, I sat all day in the class staring at her but couldn’t speak. The feeling of rejection, thinking on how she would take it stopped me from doing it. I just dint dare to. Even her taking a glimpse of me noticing her made my day. Three years passed just like that. It was in no time. By the time I realized the days are flying the college was almost over.’ I said seeking sympathy from my daughter.

That wasn’t heroics dad said my daughter feeling quite bad for me. Till date she knew me as a strong minded and vibrant person. Now when she saw my vulnerable side she was shocked.

Finally I picked up all courage and finally sent her a text message.

Hey, hii… It takes me three longs years to ask u this. It would have taken longer if the time had permitted. Now that the college is getting over I just wanted to fulfill my only wish. I want to take you on a date , any place where I can speak to for some time. Even if not for u please come for me. Ok one thing I wanted to tell you all these years. You are the sweetest girl one can ever see J

I sent that text not having the guts to send it with my name along with it. I waited for two long hours. It was the longest hours of my whole life. Finally a reply came.

Hey … ok done .. café coffee day tomorrow at 11, but one deal ll share the bill. Oh and yea thank you for the three year old compliment.PS: ll come only if you allow me to share the bill.J

I Read it once… twice.. thrice…I couldn’t believe my eyes. Did she know my number? Or did she randomly accept the date?  Anyways wow. The date was on. I was super excited.

I replied:

Oh yea .. sure.. eagerly waiting. Deal accepted. J.

The next day good or bad I knew it would be a memory for my lifetime. I prepared my speech over night even though I knew I would stammer looking at her,  but this was my chance and I had to do it. I was ready not fully but ready.

I came ten minutes earlier. I wore a dark white shirt and denim jeans on. White because I knew it was her favorite color. She came perfectly on time. She looked stunning. She wore a black dress. She looked way more than just perfect. I was instantly attracted to her beautiful eyes.

‘Hi’ she said thrusting her hand out.

‘Hi’ I said already on my legs and shook hands with her and pulled out her chair and made her sit comfortably.

‘ummm.. Thank you for coming. You knew it was me?’ I asked expecting a yes.

‘Well just wanted to fulfill your wish’ she said avoiding my question.

‘Thanks a ton. It means a lot to me.’ I said thinking this was everything that meant to me.

‘You look good’ she said probably realizing my nervousness.

‘….. thank you’ I stammered.

There was silence. She was too much that I could take. I wanted to speak but couldn’t. Finally I spoke.

‘I still remember the first day where u came in ten minutes late and u had to sit next to me.’ I said in a confident tone hoping for her to remember.

Oh yes.. I do. Wasn’t a great thing to remember actually. Well ok I have seen you stare point blank at me almost every time I turn around. It was something that anyone could notice. To be frank it was very annoying for the first few days and when everyone used to come and tell me. But days later it seemed genuine, it made me feel special. I dint know what you were looking at all day long but when it became a routine it dint bother me anymore. Sometimes in the middle of the night I would wake up just because I would feel you staring at me. I waited for you to come over and speak but you dint. I wanted to come and ask you what your problem was but I dint dare to.  You cross my mind more than once a day. Once because I will know you will be staring at me and I would turn around to make sure you do. Guess what you haven’t disappointed me even a single time. Everytime I turn expecting you to look at me you would be looking. But at the end of the day you would cross my mind another time because I would feel disgusted about you because you dint have the guts to speak up. You speak to many girls in the class but not me. I got your number from my friend once when I wanted to call and cry to you to not look at me. Just because you were staring I would take time to look as good as possible, but I couldn’t call. ok why where you staring at me for three years and never spoke a word to me? she finished her non-stop speech and gulped down a glass of water and then got ready for my answer having her coffee in her hand.

I dint know what to make out of her speech but I knew one thing for sure. She knew I existed. I crossed her mind twice a day. Wow! It was way more than I expected. Not even in my wildest dreams I thought that she would think about me. I had to speak finally.

For me it was only you who existed in the class. You knew I was staring. You knew I dint dare to come and speak. You knew the day would come but dint you know I was in love. Ummm..Yes,.. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. Then as I got to know you my love towards you just became stronger. You are just amazing, I dint dare to speak because I dint know what you would say. I knew you deserved way better than me and I dint want to speak to you as a friend because that would be like cheating you. U made my three years of my college life my most memorable. I promise you I cannot or wouldn’t love anyone else like you again I said very confidently for the first time and I wanted to hear her reply to me badly.

She dint. She stayed mute. She dint drink her coffee either. She dint stare at me too. She was numb. I touched her hand gently to get her back to normal .She got back to normal when I touched her hand and but was in shock again when she realized I held on to it.

‘ I love you I said again.

She dint reply. Her face was blank. I let go of her hand though I wanted to hold it for my lifetime. The time froze as there was total silence. Nobody spoke. We drank our respective coffees. Then I excused myself and went straight to the waiter and paid my bill. I dint want her to share the bill. She fulfilled my wish and no way I wanted her to pay for it. Though she dint reply I was happy and felt immensely relieved. I knew she would reply someday.  She dint notice I had paid my bill. I sat back and stared at her. For the first time I could see her be nervous.

‘I will be leaving to US as soon as the college gets over. Your timing was perfect. Had you been a little late you could have missed the chance. It’s time now. I have to leave.’ she said in a softer tone and called the waiter.

 She was leaving to US. Damn! I wanted to ask her a million question but she wanted to leave. The waiter came and she asked for the bill. The waiter told that it was already paid.

She got annoyed. ‘ I told you we were sharing the bill in a furious tone as the waiter left.

There is no way I would let you pay I said not giving in.

She got up took a hundred  and a fifty ruppee  note and went directly to the waiter and gave him the money and told him something that I couldn’t hear and she left furiously. I wished this had ended better. The waiter came and gave me the money  and told me she asked to give it to you as her share. I absent mindedly kept the note in my wallet and went to catch up with her. But in no time she was gone.

Dad now this is really sad. You spoke to her after it? Why did she want to share the bill so desperately?my daughters words brought me back to reality.

Girls minds are the hardest to understand. I tried figuring it out too. I sent millions of sorry texts but she dint reply. I dint bother her too much though. After probably a ten days later I took out the money she gave and I was shocked

‘Why?’ daughter more excited than I was.

‘In the hundred rupee note she had written ‘ I love you too’ ‘. I said with my eyes moist.

‘Shit….’ Was all that my daughter could reply.

I called her immediately just to find her mobile was switched off. Yea, she had gone to America.

‘You never met her again?’ my daughter asked carefully seeing my eyes moist.

‘No I dint, the destiny dint allow us to.’ I said.

‘Do you blame the destiny dad for making it lose the love of your life?’ my daughter asked.

‘No I don’t’ I said.

‘Why?’ she quipped.

‘If the destiny dint play its part I wouldn’t have got U then’ I said and hugged my daughter.

She hugged me too. LOVE STAYS LIFE MOVES ON! 


© Copyright 2020 hari krishnan. All rights reserved.

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