Luisa's River

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic

Silence. Everything is silence the night Luisa went missing only for her to come back to me, telling me one thing--break the silence. A silence that we faced day to day because we were afraid of society and what they would think about us being...lesbians.

Complete, utter silence. No dogs barking. No roaring sirens. The birds weren’t singing nor were the crickets chirping. Nobody was even rushing to the bathroom at night. I abruptly sat up trying to look through the darkness. Nothing. No sound.

My eyes fell upon the clock to see it was midnight. It had been about eight hours now—eight hours since Luisa disappeared. Something had to be wrong. It trembled inside of my stomach. I tried to tell her mom, but no—she refused to listen to me. Apparently, I was just an ignorant girl living down the street from her.

Sighing, I fell back against my bed hoping Luisa was safe, somewhere else. Lately, she had been having as much trouble at home. I remember all those conversations we had about all those secrets we kept hidden in the closet. Luisa’s silent suffering. A few minutes later, I sat up to see it was now 12:06. Still no news of Luisa.

I laid down again listening to the sound of silence. It felt as if nothing was around me. There were no cars passing by on the streets. No sirens bleating in the distances. Just absolute silence before it happened.

BANG!

Abruptly, I sat up looking around as life re-entered the world.

BANG!

Somebody was knocking on the door, it was the only sound in the night. I rolled out of my bed going downstairs making sure I was as silent as the rest of the world. I threw open the door to find Luisa standing there. Instantly, I thrust my arms around wanting to scream and shout yet I didn’t—the world was quiet so I would be, too.

“You crazy-ass-bitch! Where have you been?” I whispered to her. Something flickered inside her blood-shot eyes; tiny tears clung to her cheeks while she stood there in silence. Her long, raven black hair was normally perfectly groomed but it stood out everywhere and was plastered to her face. Never before had I gazed into her eyes and felt lost, they were dark and fearsome. This wasn’t the Luisa I had grown to love. “What’s wrong?” I asked brushing a few tears from her face.  “Luisa?”

“Can you come talk with me?” she finally asked. “I need to talk to you about something—something important. About our secrets in the closet.”

“Um yeah sure, ok. Where? My family is asleep and I don’t want to wake them; although, I swear you pounding on the door could’ve woken the dead.”

“Let’s go to the river.”

“Yeah—yeah, ok.”

I slipped outside silently closing the door behind me as I entered the noiseless night. Well almost noiseless, all I could hear was air slipping past my lips. We stumbled through the night without making a single sound. It was as if the world stood still.

The river was two miles out of town and ran through a field of golden grass that ticked your waist whenever you passed through. That night she and I just cut through without a sound until the river came into view. It almost seemed as if the water was frozen in time, too, for I couldn’t hear the water trickling past the rocky shore. We sat beside the waters edge where little waves lapped at the dirt that divided our worlds. Luisa sat down on a light brown rock looking out at the water.

Gradually, it became brighter as the clouds crept away from the moon. The shimmering light spilled from the heavens hitting the dark water. Carefully, I sat beside Luisa on the rock. I laid my hand on top of her’s and she looked up into my eyes. A smile crossed my face as the hairs on my arms reached for the sky.

“Hey,” I whispered to her. “I was worried about you. I’d be devastated if I ever lost you, I want you to know that.”

“Sorry,” Luisa shook her head looking down at her feet.

“What happened? Did you tell your parents about being…?”

“No.”

“Then what happened?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“You know by being silent about everything—it’s gonna get to you one of these days. All those secrets eating up at you on the inside,” I started to tell her before pausing. She looked away from me again. “All that stuff bottled up inside one person can’t be healthy. You need to break that silence—I’m worried about you.”

“Shut up!  SHUT UP! Will you just shut up!” snapped Luisa. Some creature hiding in the grass stirred. The grass slightly wriggled making a small swooshing sound. I tried to focus on her though and not look off in hopes of seeing something. “And you shouldn’t be talking considering you haven’t told your parents anything either.”

“Well that’s different,” I protested.

“No, it’s not. You’re living the same lie as me.”

“It’s still different.”

“Shut up!”

“You shut up! God! You’re so annoying sometimes.”

A silence over took us while we sat there. I laid down on the rock gazing at the star specked sky. The moon seemed to grin like the Cheshire Cat. I was unsure if it was too happy or knew too much. Luisa sighed before falling back against the rock. Our flesh slightly touched sending a tingling sensation down my spine. Carefully, I moved my head at the same time as her. That way our eyes met while the tips of our nose touched. I heard her breaths along with mine as our breathing pattern fell in unison.

“Luisa…I love you,” I whispered.

Silence.

“How long have we been going out?”

“That’s random.”

“I don’t like the silence.”

“A year and four days.”

“What? You don’t know it down to the hours, minutes and seconds?”

“It beats what you know. Nothing.”

“Ok. We all know I’m the ‘man’ in this relationship.”

“We should go swimming.”

“And you say I’m random.”

“It’s because it’s you. When I say stuff like that it’s cool where you—you’re just weird, freaky and random, just ‘cause.”

She got up and climbed into the river even though her clothes were still clinging to her body. Her head sunk beneath the surface while I sat there pondering. My eyes studied as her black hair raised to the top twirling around in gentle tendrils. Then Luisa broke free from underwater to look up at me. With the bright moon peering through the clouds, she looked almost radiant while she lingered in the water.

“I don’t want my clothes to get wet,” I said.

“You’re no fun,” she laughed.

“Yeah, I knew that already though.”

Luisa kicked around in the water for a bit struggling a tad bit so she could look back at me. The swishing water made me feel a little drowsy as time ticked away into the early morning. The steady rhythm of her hands slicing through the water was so soothing. My drifted away only to be brought back the instant she spoke to me.

“I love you,” she said to me for the first time ever. 

My mouth fell open to say something only to be cut off by a bleating siren, somewhere close by were police cruisers. Swirling blue lights penetrated the night. I slipped off the rock and knelt down in the mud not caring as the dirt caked my knees. Luisa swim close to me, the water was deep here. She made sure she stayed on the surface while she remained there. I reached out running a hand through her sopping wet hair as I met her tender lips. Little drops of water fell against my lips as I knelt there kissing her one last time before gently pulling my lips away from her’s.

She suddenly reached out grabbing onto me. Carefully, she pulled me forward so I was leaning close to her face. Those dark eyes stared into mine, “Break the silence, tell your parents everything,” Luisa whisper to me before releasing me. I stood up while staring back at her. There was something tragic hanging in the air around us. Tears seemed to linger in her eyes, they were so moist while she floated there. 

“Wait. What about you?”

“It’s too late; you’ll understand soon. Before I left. I just wanted to let you know that I love you. Really I do.” She used her wet hand to wipe away a tear that just started to trickle down her cheek. “Bye. I love you.”

“I love you,” I whispered.

Voices reached my ears as the sirens started to scream. More police officers arrived to whatever scene was down the river from us. Luisa’s mom probably finally called 911 in hopes of a search party. I glanced over at the swirling blue lights before looking back at Luisa. She silently nodded her head as a statement, it was time for me to return home.

Swallowing a few emotional tears of mine, I backed away from the water. Many times before I left the same way unable to look away from Luisa. She floated there watching me as I left. The moon light still hit her making her appear like a radiant creature as she floated there. This was Luisa’s river.

I rushed through the grass, my feet thumped against the cold hard ground as I attempted to pass the police officers. The siren screams blasted louder and louder the closer I came toward the scene. Blinding, bright lights came into view causing me to stumble falling over. Sharp rocks cut up my legs, a small squeal escaped my lips. 

A shadow ran over to me, I leapt to my feet ready to run away but the shadow hugged me. Once my eyes adjusted to the bright lights; I realized that it was Luisa’s mom clinging to me while she sobbed. Her warm tears bleed through my clothes, touching my flesh while her chocking sobs invaded my ears.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this—it wasn’t supposed to be like this…” she sobbed, but I carefully, pushed her away from me. “I’m so sorry. I never thought that she would…”

“What?” I asked.

“It’s Luisa,” said her mother.

“What about her?”

“Sweetie—dear, she-she-she…” but the rest of the words were distorted by tears that rushed down her cheeks. I stepped passed her and kept going. My legs went on autopilot as I approached the water.

Nobody tried to stop me. Or I didn’t think they did as I came closer and closer to the water’s edge. I stood there on the shore looking into the water where some people waded. A tragic sight. A terror in the night. I fell to my knees staring down at the dark waters as it ran over Luisa’s limp body. She was lying face first in the water, her body kept crashing into some rocks all because of the water. It pushed her forward but she wasn’t moving anywhere. I watched how her dark hair floated to the surface twirling around like soft tendrils.

It was when I started to reach out was when somebody pulled me away from the scene. But I was in so much shock to say anything. This really was Luisa’s river.

 
 
 

I stood outside my house in the rain after the funeral. My eyes were planted on the door while lost in thought. Silence ebbed away at life all around me. Nobody roamed the streets, no children were playing. There weren’t even the cries of dogs that had been left outside as it started to rain. Noiseless raindrops fell from the sky, hitting my cheeks as if I had been crying. I started to think: how long had it been since her death? Since that strange night I spent at Luisa’s River with well—Luisa. The coroner told me she had died at twelve yet when she came to my doorstep, it was after twelve.

One foot moved forward falling into the mud, it squished once I put full pressure on it. I moved my other foot up beside it wanting to runaway. Return to the river. But it was probably too dangerous with the approaching storm. The rain pitter-pattered everywhere while it streamed down my face. This was it—this was the time. I had to break the silence like Luisa suggested to me. 

A curtain in our front window moved a little and my mom peered outside at me. She came out holding onto a bright red umbrella. Over and over she called to me asking me if there was something wrong. I just nodded in reply unable to use any words as a silence overtook me. Somehow I managed to swallow all my words while I stood there thinking about Luisa. All the good times. All the bad times. 

Break the silence, tell your parents everything, her words rung inside my head.  They kept repeating themselves slowly driving me crazy. Another step forward, another deep breath. I stood there staring at my mom who was too afraid to step down into the mud. She always was. Break the silence, tell your parents everything. Inhaling deeply, one last time I raced across the rest of my front yard. 

When I was in reach, my mom pushed the umbrella to me. I grabbed onto it allowing it to hang above my head while I stared at her wondering if I should start telling her out here or wait till I was inside. My fingers were wrapped around the bottom of the umbrella while I listened to the steady plopping of rain drops drifting away from reality.

My fingers ran across the strange, smooth wall paper of the poster I gave to Luisa on her birthday. It was to her favorite movie, Romeo + Juliet, the one that rocked with Leonardo di Caprio and Claire Danes. I tried to think about how many times I had watched the movie with her before moving on knowing it was an impossible feat to count how many times. My fingers hit the play button on her iHome. The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel started to play, which was ironic because it shattered the silence I had been standing in. 

Next, I moved toward her bed. Nothing had been touched since she left that day. Ran away. On her bed was a notebook. It was one she used to write or draw in all the time. A journal of some sort that always talked about her days—the things she faced along with that thoughts tearing a part at her brain.

I flipped through the pages only to stop on the last page she wrote on. After reading the first few sentences, my legs went all limp. My knees failed me and I fell onto the bed and sat there staring at the page. My eyes ran over the note she left behind. Once I finished, I tore it out. It was a suicide note that was meant for only one person in this world. Me. Instantly, I stuffed it into my pocket before running out of the room.

“Is something wrong?” asked my mom. I snapped back to life looking up at her. “If you need any help—if you need to talk about anything, I promise to always listen to you. I understand that this is a hard time for you.”

“Thank you,” I whispered to her.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Mom, I have something to tell you and dad,” I finally uttered.

“Ok sweetie, he’s not home yet but he will be in a few minutes.”

“You might want to go inside and sit down,” I suggested.

All the color blanched from her face as she silently nodded before turning around to go inside. For a split second, I stood on the same spot looking out over the land. Just barely I could see Luisa’s River reminding me of the awful yet somehow the most amazing night of me life. Sitting on the bank with Luisa at my side. Her floating in the river alive and well. Telling me that she loved me for the first time ever. Again, I felt myself drift away as I stared off into the distance.

Luisa’s mom tried to stop me, she was sobbing still but did her best to say something to me. Her words were drowned out thought by the loud sobs. I continued to rush out of the place with the words of the note ringing in my mind.

The first thing that I wish that could be different is—that you were not busy and could come down to the river spot. We could go swimming. That way I could tell you all of this in person. But no. Instead, you are off somewhere on some school field trip. Therefore, I just wanted to let you know. You need to break the silence, tell your parents about everything. They’ll accept you no matter what. They’re nice people like that. Being gay has nothing to do with their love. Even if you were a serial killer, I bet they’d still love you. That’s what parents are supposed to do. But please—please Cassie, break the silence before it’s too late. Like me. It was too late and look where I am now. Lastly and most important. I wanted you to know that I love you, Cassie. Really. I do. I love you.

Tears streamed down my cheeks. I rushed out to the field where the golden grass ticked your waist until I arrived to the river spot. Two footprints lingered there from the other night. I fell onto the rock and sat there staring at the larger footprints. Those weren’t mine. They were Luisa’s footprints.

My dad’s bright red car pulled into the driveway. When he got out he rushed over to me standing under the umbrella. “What? Are you waiting out here for me with this nice umbrella? Looks a little late for you to stand under one,” he started to laugh until he realized how serious I was. “Is something wrong?”

“Dad, I need to tell you and mom something. You might want to sit down though,” I blurted

I walked inside in compete, utter silence unable to ignore it anymore as I came into the next room to find them both sitting there waiting for me to speak. All eyes were on me as if I were the only thing left in this world. Nobody spoke. They were both silent.

“Mom,” I said looking at her. “Dad,” then I said looking at him. This was the start. The final call. It was time to break the silence. “I have something to tell you.”

“Yes dear, we know,” said my mom interrupting me.

“Go ahead,” said my dad.

“First, I need to know something.”

“What?” they asked me in unison.

“Do you promise to always love me no matter what happens?”

“Yes,” said my dad.

“Of course, honey. What would give you the idea we’d stop loving you?”

“I don’t know.”

“What is it, dear?” she asked.

“Mom,” I looked at her. “Dad,” I looked at him before I managed to look at them at the same time. “I have something to tell you…” My eyes shut for a split second as the world spun around me. When I opened them, I inhaled deeply with the words biting at the end of my tongue. “I’m gay.” 

And my words were almost drowned out by a loud clap of thunder that even made the house quiver. For a split second, they sat there staring at me. The storm started to increase getting louder and louder. Nothing was said between us yet I knew somehow that I broke the silence. All around I could hear all the sounds with more and more sounds invading the air. Somewhere upstairs, my brother was blasting loud music that seemed to match the moment because music always did that. It matched the flow of our little scene. Little chills ran down my spine, Luisa would’ve been so proud of me.

My mom stood up. She came over to me throwing her arms around me pulling me close to her body while she embraced me. Soon my dad came over to me hugging me, too. 

The thunder continued to shout while the wind started to roar. Noise bled into my life again. All around life was screaming. Thunder clapped while sirens rung somewhere in the distance. Children screamed while dogs barked. I could even hear the wail of a nearby cat that was stuck outside. The silence was broken.


Submitted: May 08, 2009

© Copyright 2022 Harli Quin. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

lanchava

Great so far! Keep it up!

Mon, May 11th, 2009 8:54pm

Author
Reply

Aw. Thanks for the comment. :)

Mon, May 11th, 2009 2:04pm

Snow412

quite moving. This is a good read.

Tue, May 12th, 2009 2:20pm

Author
Reply

Thanks. I'm glad you liked it and thanks for reading. :)

Tue, May 12th, 2009 12:04pm

Vamplit

That was an amazing I love the storytelling. You painted a picture in my mind with your words I look forward to reading the rest of your work.

Wed, May 13th, 2009 10:54am

Author
Reply

Wow, thanks. That's such a nice compliment, it made my day. :D Thank you for reading.

Wed, May 13th, 2009 12:14pm

Marlena

wow is all I can say just wow. That's was very moving I didn't know she was dead until the mother came running down I thought she had killed her parents at first. Caught me by surprise, you are very good at writing.

Fri, May 15th, 2009 11:01pm

Author
Reply

Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it, I think this is the first time I ever wrote a story hoping to either move somebody or inspire them. Ha. All I have to say is yay! I'm glad I sort of tricked you. Some reason, I love to write things with Twilight Zone-esque twists. haha :P

Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a nice compliment, that helped make my day. :)

Fri, May 15th, 2009 4:19pm

Gemrose

woah, you really have a great writing style, i was pulled into the story. well, all in all, I loved it.

Sat, May 16th, 2009 1:18am

Author
Reply

Aw thanks. I'm glad that you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading.

Fri, May 15th, 2009 6:24pm

Morning Glory

That was so amazingly detailed with such visions of reality. Very well worth taking the time to read it. The writing was perfect in its way of getting the reader to feel every bit of the emotional aspect. Loved it! Thanks for sharing.

Sat, May 23rd, 2009 3:34pm

Author
Reply

Oh wow. Thank you, I'm glad that you really enjoyed reading and were able to feel the emotion of the story. Thanks so much for the compliment and for reading.

Sat, May 23rd, 2009 8:50am

Scarlett Moon

That was beautiful. Incredibly sad though. At least it had a little happy ending but I felt bad for Luisa. The poor girl. Beautiful story. Wow.

Tue, June 2nd, 2009 5:21pm

Author
Reply

aw thanks for reading.

Tue, June 2nd, 2009 12:02pm

Dusk Dawn

That was great. I really enjoyed reading everything. The ending was great. With all the noise returning to life. It was nice, symbolic there. Some reason, it made me think of Day of Silence or something like that. At least the symbolism makes me think of Day of Silence.

Thu, June 18th, 2009 7:19pm

Author
Reply

Yeah that's where I sort of got the idea from. I wrote this not too long after the Day of Silence. Thanks for reading.

Thu, June 18th, 2009 1:04pm

Crystle Delano

Very nice. I know its WAY late, needless to say I took a long Booksie break lol Very well written, I really felt the emotions and connected with your characters. I also enjoyed the twist along with the enviromental mood of the story. Thank you, I love to be so inspired!!

Wed, January 4th, 2012 12:21am

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