My Life What Can I Do

I didn't know how to explain the pain I feel in life. The unbelievable yearn to end the life I live but the uncapability of my hands. The need to stop pretending everything was fine when it wasn't. I didn't know until today. I've been a push over, I let anyone walk on me, joke about me, embarass me. They'd say, "Oh I know you can take a joke." But could I really, how would they know? They didn't come home everyday to have their smile taken from their face by the constent reminder of themselves. They didn't know the long nights when there was nothing to cry about but I did. Softy and slowly so my parents wouldn't hear while they walked past. The tears that have been engraved into my hands won't go away but they don't care. All they want is a little laugh out of their friends and then after I cry between classes they come to me and apologize. I don't think so. I'm just a soul waiting to find something to mesmerize at. I ask again and again, please help me give me someone who understands someone to save me from this agony, someone help.

~never give up~