Don't Wanna Be Me

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
I can't help
that I feel less and less
like myself
I feel more and more
helpless

Submitted: June 11, 2012

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Submitted: June 11, 2012

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I can't help 
that I feel less and less 
like myself 
I feel more and more 
helpless 
worthless 
useless 
without a reason to support it 
I have many a thing to be happy about 
but I only see the awkward and sad 
I feel like I should be crying or mad 
but I don't remember why 
I don't even want a reason sometimes 
I feel like there's too much on my mind 
then I say it out loud 
to someone else 
and I sound...out of touch 
I feel stupid 
and overly dramatic... 
I am something obscure 
that so far no pill or shrink can cure 
can this be analized or downsized? 
I just want out of here 
out of this mind 
out of this lack of control, 
because I shouldn't be this way 
this programmed 
ticking timebomb 
this thing no one wants to be around 
this hole in my heart keeps growing 
and my stitches and cuts are showing 
because I stopped bandaging myself long ago 
and I'm still trying to let that all go 
because I pretend that I got better 
but in reality I lied my way here 
I still need too much love 
and I still ask way too much 
and I still am weak and obsurd 
I still am insecure and feel dreamless... 
because everyone is moving ahead around me 
and I keep hiding 
I keep giving up 
I keep looking for someone to help me help myself 
because I have doubts 
and I have wishes 
but I am still nothing without you and your kisses... 
us and our hits and even our misses 
I need you like I need the rain 
to keep me in check 
and to keep my a little sane 
I remind me that I could be one of them 
but I don't have to be 
to remind me that I am talented, 
the good kind of weird 
that even though I feel out of place 
I have a place 
I just haven't found it yet... 
Though I lie, and I kick, and I scream 
you wouldn't leave 
you talk alot of shit, 
but I don't think you could leave 
not anymore. 
You care, even when you'd rather not admit it 
You're there when you don't have to be 
because even though you never meant to say it 
you love me.


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