I wrote this (For You)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

I'm angry.
But I'm not angry for me.
I'm angry for you.
I'm frustrated.
But I'm not frustrated with you.

 

I'm angry.

But I'm not angry for me.

I'm angry for you.

I'm frustrated.

But I'm not frustrated with you.

I'm frustrated with me.

But not me.

More like my abilities...

More so my inabilities..

my inability to just breathe

my inability to write the things I want to.

about how important you are.

I don't think you get to hear these things enough.

You're beautiful. Not in the girly, flowery way.

But in strong, protective, graceful, powerful way.

The way you carry your pain without breaking

the way you care without smothering

the way you love without being overbearing.

The little things, 

that make the big things seem insignificant.

Those little words that remind me what sanity feels like

I want you to know

I can be that too

My words aren't as graceful 

and my speeches can be rather long

but I try

and I never judge.

I can be something too

I try.

Sometimes I succeed 

Sometimes I fail

but effort? I have plenty

If you ever were to need me.

I worry, and I fret

and I wish things were better

you don't deserve the shit you get

but I suppose that's life

the sick joke that it is

just remember

in those moments

where you feel like nothing

or numb

or broken

when you feel like dying

and there's no one around

when your crying 

or screaming

or punching walls

I love you.

As small as that may seem

I do

you matter. 

Without you, I'd be different

I would feel an emptyness 

that I couldn't explain

but I'd feel it

if you'd never been there

that's the funny thing about love

or strong friendship

or soul mates

or best friends

You never feel the void

until you get something

and then you lose it

It's a gift

and a curse

a torture that you wish for

a chance you crave to take

something I was aware of

and am glad of

even if sometimes I abuse the privilege

Know that every night

I think to myself

and I hope to myself

day to day

that you are happy

content

sane

I worry

I fret

I want for you, the best

You deserve it

for all the shit you take

I wouldn't blame you 

for being full of hate

rage

spite

but you aren't

you care

you give 

you love

I don't know how you do it

I am proud of you.

I'm proud of all the little things

I'm proud of all your doing

and all you will do

All the people you help

and will help

All the lives you've become a part of

all the people that would give their lives for you

even if you don't know it.

Thanks for being a muse.

Thanks for being a friend.

Thanks for being everything,

that I've needed you to be.

I wrote this for a specific,

a love

a vice.

But I suppose it applies

to a few voices I know

the ones I hear in my head

when I'm about to do 

something foolish

Thank you voices.

I know you exsist

and it isn't a dream

Though I fight

and I tease

I mean when i say

I love you.

I need you in my life.

Thank you for that.

 

Good Night.


Submitted: June 12, 2012

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