The Annoying Kid

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Written as a homework assignment. The challenge was to use SAT vocab words to create a short story. The SAT words have been underlined.

I enjoyed writing this so much that I figured I might as well post it here for all to see.

Submitted: March 23, 2014

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Submitted: March 23, 2014

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Mr. Smith wasn’t an ordinary man. He was a bit of a pariah, having chosen to live on the lonely outskirts of town. He was also known for being quite cogent, despite his questionable living space. The local children would often visit Mr. Smith when they had trouble with a homework assignment, but they would first have to placate him by promising to keep their voices down. As for the recalcitrant children, they were promptly and forcibly excused. For you see, Mr. Smith had very sensitive ears. Due to this, he always kept a pair of white earmuffs handy for whenever a boisterous noise was heard.

One day, Billy Bob, the local paragon of stupidity, friendliness, and silliness, decided to ask Mr. Smith for help with his homework. He knocked on the door in an exorbitant manner, eager to get Mr. Smith’s attention. The door soon opened to reveal a grumpy Mr. Smith.

“What’s with all the racket? Keep the noise down!” he growled.

“Sorry sir!” yelled Billy. “I need ya help with something here!”

“Don’t make me recapitulate myself you loquacious child! I said keep it down!”

“Recapitulate? What the heck is a recapitulate? Is that some kind of candy? Can I have some? Where ya keeping it? It must be a seminal masterpiece! Whatever that word means! I heard it from my friend John!”

The ever-gregarious Billy continued his incessant babbling until Mr. Smith couldn’t take it anymore. He reached for his earmuffs, but they weren’t in their usual spot.

“What the… where are my earmuffs?” he cried out in agony.

“You mean these?” Billy replied as he dangled the white earmuffs between his fingers. “I think they’re really cool! You’re so cool Mr. Smith! Can you teach me how to be cool? We can be cool together Mr. Smith!”

“I’d sooner die!” snapped Mr. Smith.

“Come on! It’ll be fun! Come on come on come on!”

“Shut up!”

“Come on come on come on come on!” screamed Billy.

Mr. Smith’s poor ears couldn’t take it anymore. His ears exploded internally, sending forth streams of blood. He collapsed on the ground, a twitching mess, and died within seconds.

“Mr. Smith? It’s not naptime Mr. Smith! I need your help! Aww man… who’s gonna help me with my homework now?”

Billy Bob wandered off, leaving the red-soaked body all alone. News travelled quickly off Mr. Smith’s death. His departure resulted in the burgeoning of earmuff sales worldwide.


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