illutration essay- you win some you lose some

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
3 things that make me who i am, written after reading 2 essays.

Submitted: December 03, 2015

A A A | A A A

Submitted: December 03, 2015



You Win Some, You Lose Some”

In my life I have a lot of things that have influenced who I am, whether they are good or bad it’s shaped me into who I am today. Three things in particular are being bullied throughout my whole school career from about third grade to the end of High School, a childhood best friend, and how my dad died.  I wish I could have avoided going through some of the events in my life, but you can’t change the past.  The two essays  I had in common with were “Fish Cheeks” by Amy Tan and “The Photograph” by Navarre Scott Momaday. Through all that I have been through I have become an person with an amazing personality. I have become stronger and wiser.

One of the worst days of my life was when my dad passed away.  Obviously nobody wants to lose their parent as a child they should have both a mother and a father in their family. For the rest of my life I will have my that empty void in my chest.  The only memory  I will remember is when he came home late from his job, in which he was very dedicated, I waited up for him so we could watch The Jetsons and drink ice cold milk together in the family room or at the kitchen table. After he did it just wasn’t the same my best friend was no longer with me. He wasn’t there to hang out with me anymore. In my eyes I was isolated when what I needed was love and attention. Since I feel that void in my chest; the missing piece of the puzzle will forever be missing. As I know absolutely no one can replace him so the only thing left to do is search for love or give it to others. If I notice someone is having a bad day I take it upon myself to find out what’s wrong. After that lend some advice and give a warm hug. I do this because I need it, I need the compassion of someone taking a part of their day, go the extra length and ask what’s wrong so I can tell them how things in my life seem to be. Leaving a light in my heart  instead of darkness.

Another example of an influence is being bullied pretty much all my life. This being from how I am overweight, to what I wore, to being harassed on the bus daily. Specifically I remember on the day of my eighth grade portrait, these two boys were talking about me and how fat I am, so then I  turned around and they continued to laugh about it. I said nothing to them and I had no audacity to tell them to stop because I know they’d just do it all the more.  During the bus rides no matter where I sat in the back or the front I had paper thrown at me or they yelled my name for no reason. One of the kids who used to harass me on the bus is now my best friend. When we started working at shoprite together he apologized for torturing me in elementary school he said he was wrong for what he did. I don’t regret letting him in my life at all, he is the best thing thats ever happened to me. This relates to “Fish Cheeks” because in the story she was embarrassed of her culture when at a christmas dinner and her crush was there, she was so worried what the minister’s family was going to think of her."What would Robert think of our shabby chinese Christmas?  What would he think of  our noisy chinese relatives who lacked proper american manners?What terrible disappointment would he feel upon seeing not a roasted turkey and sweet potatoes but Chinese food?(107).” At the end of the essay she learns that she must be proud of who she is, "You want to be the same as American girls on the outside." She handed me an early gift. It was a mini skirt in beige tweed. "But inside you must always be Chinese. You must be proud you are different.Your only shame is to have shame.(108)". Just like Amy I was ashamed of who I was and now I could care less what people think of me. In  the year 2012 I took it upon myself to dye my hair bright pink. Why? because I wanted to stand out, I wanted to be different. Other people pointed and whispered stuff about me, but I could care less. My goal was to do something that could make me happy.

The last thing that influenced who I am today is having inattentive ADHD. Only recently I found out that I had been struggling with it. I was  always graded on reading comprehension in every grade and again following a pattern I did awful. A lot of teacher’s really thought I was stupid and just threw me in A.I.S, this of course did not help, I still have a difficult time understanding what I’m reading. I remember in Elementary school having to see this lady who made me read to her and answer questions about the book. For example I read Jackie Robinson to her and quietly to myself over and over trying to answer this one question: What was the book about?. I had no idea what to tell her all I knew was it was about a guy who played Baseball. This one flaw is embarrassing although it shouldn’t be because I have a learning disability many other people have,if they can deal with it I should be able to as well. This relates to Lee’s essay:”Speaking of Reading” because I feel like I have been tossed into the reject pile my whole life, there has been several times when I was recommended to be in special education and I never was because I am stupid most of the time, but I am not special needs. In the essay Gary lee writes “I can’t read this, I can’t do this(100)” one phrase I always said because it was difficult.

Although I wish I didn’t have to go through my dads death,getting bullied day after day or having ADHD/learning disabilities I wouldn’t dare change my life with anyone. Since I’m the one going through it I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone. Granted there are people with worse, I understand how it is. It completely sucks. I think dealing with this has made me have an amazing personality because I have been treated awfully by students,teachers, etc. and I know I wouldn’t want anyone to feel how I do. So in turn I am nothing but sweet and generous to anyone I come in contact with. By doing this I give people the love and care that I’m missing because it makes me happy to put a smile on someone’s face.


Works cited

Lee, Gary. "Gary Lee,’ from Speaking of Reading." The Little Seagull Handbook. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2003. 99-102. Print.


Tan, Amy. "Fish Cheeks."


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