Living the Li(f)e

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Sometimes things aren't always what they seem. In a world of glass and mirrors, someone will eventually get hurt.

Submitted: May 20, 2016

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Submitted: May 20, 2016



I stare over the table with a glassy look, my mind racing with any random and meaningless thought to drown out the incessant droning of the person opposite me.


Their voice seems to echo around the almost empty dining room, making the noise even harder to ignore as it reverberates. The same sentence bouncing off the walls repeatedly, the pure white walls that make me feel constricted.


That sounds accompanied by the sound of cutlery scraping against crockery makes my eye twitch, at least one thing is easier to drown out than another.


Eventually my gaze focuses on them, that one person I’m so sick of seeing.


When did I get bored of them?


I can’t remember.


My eyes shift down to the ring on my left finger, the permanent reminder of our bond.


When did I regret this decision?


Probably a few months later once the charm of newlywed life faded, once the monotony of married life actually sunk in and everything changed.


The honeymoon phase fizzled out a lot faster than I’d anticipated.


When did these white walls start feeling like the impenetrable barriers of a prison?


The photos adorning the walls depict a happy and perfect couple.


Just looking at them made me sick, how could anyone not see that it was all fake?


A game we played to keep up appearances, sometimes it felt like we were fooling no one but ourselves.


We barely tolerated each other most of the time, it used to be so much easier than it is now. We used to be able to fake it perfectly, but now we barely try, most of our time is spent as far from each other as possible unless the circumstance really calls for it.


My fingers twitch a little around the knife I’m holding, my eyes flicker to the silver blade, it’s too dull to use against anything but the tender meat on my plate.




A divorce would obviously be the most logical step, yet neither of us could bring up the subject. Despite us both knowing it would probably be the single best move we’d have made in years, it’s like the words would catch in our throats and we’d go silent once again.


There were so many other factors to take into consideration now too, it wouldn’t be as easy as it could have been a few mere years prior. There’s always something there to stick the needle in a little deeper, quietly telling you that it’d all work out in the end when it was actually making things worse.


You always realised things far too late, and now we both had to live in the misery we caused ourselves whilst pretending to be that perfect couple for friends and some family.


“How is it?” They ask me in a cold tone, not even looking up from their damn food.


“Good,” I mumble, my eyes remaining on the knife in my hand.


Oh how I’d love to use this right now.


It was a fantasy I delved into quite often, especially after extended periods of time with them.


Like now.


It’d only been a week since I got off work and I was already fully prepared to rip at my own throat to get away.


What a peaceful week it had been, at least in my own little world it had been.


Once you got past the initial sounds of the various disposal methods I’d used everything would go silent, such serene silence.


A silence I wasn’t going to experience anytime soon.


I don’t know who we were still playing this up for or how many people still believed our little show, but no one could know the truth behind closed doors.


Just a little while longer, I can hold it out.


Keeping up the façade of a perfect life, a perfect marriage.


I can play the perfect spouse without giving in to the darkest voices that whispered into my ear, telling me to finally give in to forbidden desires and stop living the lie.

© Copyright 2019 Hell R. All rights reserved.

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