How To Be A Wanna-Be

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

How To Be A Fake. This Is A Mock Thing - Don't Take It Seriously. If You're An 'Emo' And Take Offence, You're A Poser, Wanna-be. get Over Yourself.

HOWTOBEAFAKE.

Facebook.

Emo.

Step 1.

Picture

Type in 'emo' on google and search the images. Choose a picture from the first page; wouldn't want anyone thinking you're clever, or real. Make sure that the picture isn't of anyone smiling, and that there is a knife or some self-injuring object in the picture. Be sure for them to have dark hair that covers their eyes like a shetland pony, make-up that makes them look like their parents had it on with a badger, and dark depressing clothes featuring some band that can't sing for their life. T Rex for instance.

Step 2.

Facebook

Create a facebook, set that awesome picture of some emo cuttingtheir wrists you found on google as your profile picture. Make sure to write some comment underneath begging for more wanna-be emos and fakes to comment on it saying your picture is hot.

Step 3.

About Me

It must be depressing, obviously poser and spelt-wrong all the way through. Put something about hating your parents, everyone you know dying and life being a bitch on there. If you struggle to come up with something, folow this simple guide.

"I'm mia! i'm 14, emo i hte my lyfe it scks, my prents hate mi and no-1 undrstds me evry1 at skl thnk clling mi nmes gts mi dwn, bt i alrdy wnt to dye so it dsnt wrk.

EMO4 LYFE!

luv all mi emo frends.

I wnt 2 die.

(SpElLiNg LiKe ThIs Is AlSo CoNsIdErEd GoOd)

Step 4.

Adding People

Join lots and lots of emo pages, even the ones making fun of emos, as long as they have the word emo in it they are a must. Add everyone who joins these groups, comments or so much as glances at them. Make sure half of them don't speak english; this is essential seeing as they are the facebok friend fillers you need. Next add all their friends that writes on their wall or appear to be friends with them.

(If anyones asks "do I know you" say "No, i'm emo too" that should DEFIANTLY convince them to keep you on their friend list)

Step 5.

Acting

Now that you have a facebook full of people equally as wanna be as you, you need to know how to act. Everyone hour or so post depressing status's, qoute songs, or famous people. Remember; there isalways something bad going on in your life. Your boyfriend (Yes boyfriend, even if you're a boy, you're gay, or bi, or pansexual...) hates you, cheated on you, broke up with you. Your parents grounded you, shouted at your or tried to hug you. Your friends ran out of credit and couldn't text back, your friend can't make it to your house, your friend laughed at you. Oh; and one of your internet wanna-be friends wants to kill themself - a good status about how much you love them and want them to live should do the trick nicely. When someone asks you about bands, you have to know everything. Google and Wiki-pedia are your new bestfriends. in fact, your only bestfriends; unless you count that random indonsian guy that added you last week and has the same t-shirt as you as your friend.

Step 5.

More Photos

Always post lots of pictures of crying eyes, bleeding wrists and people with guns to their heads, so you and all your emo friends can appreciate the art work that razor made. Find some picture of scarred wrists, postthem and claim their your wrists, this always works fantastcially to convnice people you're depressed. Also; post more pictures of other people that you claim are you, they must be completely different to your other picture (The eyes can't be the same eye-colour, neither can the hair, and the face structure defiantly can't match) but make sure their hot and 100% emo.

Wouldn't anyone to think you're a poser now would we?

Step 6.

Online Relationships

Now you have charmed the ladies (men; you're ladies) you have to pick the one that doens't have any pictures of herself, but has a impressive selection of roses, guns, knives and blood. Ask her and she will defiantly say yes (Who wouldn't; you're such a hottie) Next write on your profile how much you love her, and that she is the only reason you're alive. Cutting and pasting eachothers pictures so there next to eachother and setting it as your profile picture is essential. People need to know you have a girlfriend.

Despite having a girlfriend never stop flirting, you're a hot emo, you can have anyone.

Step 7.

Being Offened

If someone accuses you of being a 'poser' (Who would do such a thing?) get angry, tell all your emo friends and spam their facebook page with hate. If someone disses 'emo' do the same but say pathetic stuff which you have to think is actually a good comeback like 'EMOISMYLIFE' but you have to spell it wrong, of course,

Step 8.

Being Real

God-forbid someone calls you a fake, delete their comments and delete them from your profile. Even block them if it makes you feel better. Tell all your emo friends that the person who called you a fake is an ex-friend who you recently fell out with. If you do not delete the comments say something back like 'Prove it' then block the person from commenting on your photos. A few minutes later write on the same photo 'I thought so'. This will look like you owned them; because in reality, you can't.

Step 9.

Done.

You are now a emo facebooker!

Congratulations; remember to follow these steps closely!

P.S

Really;Don't


Submitted: July 02, 2010

© Copyright 2020 HelloKittyFucksTheMainstream. All rights reserved.

Humor love dark depression gay drugs dying band online relationships life guns eyes picture hate fake people boy suicide reality simple die everything boyfriend girlfriend kill claim calls fun depressed live flirting feel alive thought write house work friend reason thinking art cant angry internet facebook blood act hot struggle songs guide men cutting making bright parents search friends bad black laugh knife crying acting wrong depressing google word stop list must structure next couldnt commenting yes everyone profile random someone say always never comment real english come works type person count seeing unless join called considered guy images broke photo face bleeding cheated hug choose fact pathetic ones awesome clothes wall sing hair spam groups page credit bands full grounded bi famous trick hating emo block scarred spell completely keep annoying ladies emos pictures loves roses oh beatles disco photos speak form comments razor begging smiling knives ask create tell lots match text hour fell step hottie later object heads prove ran half minutes week ha clone pages clever scene add makes pit wouldnt anyone actually bt tried wanna wants added pick underneath isnt recently setting youre impressive appear homicide despite appreciate luv slit bestfriends make-up delete frends post neither pony equally rex laughed charmed obviously writes hates concerts owned mi status neon wrists poser remeber shetland fakes spelling badger accuses adding asks comeback ex-friend convince covers t-shirt essential selection eachother joins mocking glances defiantly mosh shouted wanna-be lyfe instance dye themself fakers smocking slef self-injuring featuring syaing spelt-wrong folow hte scks prents no- undrstds evry skl thnk clling nmes gts dwn alrdy wnt dsnt wrk facebok fillers anyones statuss qoute pansexual nicely wiki-pedia indonsian fantastcially convnice eye-colour doenst pasting eachothers offened disses god-forbid

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Comments

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VampireGirl

This . . . made my day. xD
*~*Vampire*~*

Fri, July 2nd, 2010 1:21pm

Author
Reply

Good, Good :L Thanks!

Fri, July 2nd, 2010 6:41am

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TisIsMehGhosty

In the great words of ‘Wonder Showzen’, "Funny".

Fri, July 2nd, 2010 3:21pm

Author
Reply

Thanks

Fri, July 2nd, 2010 6:51pm

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seannachie

Absolutely hilarious.

Fri, July 2nd, 2010 4:02pm

Author
Reply

Thanks

Fri, July 2nd, 2010 6:52pm

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City Of Evil

I am literally laughing my as* off at this. The sad thing is, I've seen way to many of these people. Im not going to lie to you though, i all but twitched at the annoyingness of the misspelled words, but hey, thats what you were going for lol. It was great though. Loved it!

~Lazarus~

Fri, July 2nd, 2010 5:03pm

Author
Reply

Thanks! And It Took Me 10 Minutes To Spell Some Of That Wrong xD

Fri, July 2nd, 2010 6:52pm

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MysteryGirlRobyyn

... I am slightly offened seeing as I am called emo alot although Im not steriotypical. But this is pretty true about the posers lol. o.o Made me laugh :L

Sat, July 3rd, 2010 6:48am

Author
Reply

Real Emos Won't Take Offence - Obvious Reasons xD But Yeah (':

Sat, July 3rd, 2010 1:02am

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5waystosedateme

wow. . . i have a lot of poser emos at my school then. like i didn"t know :) i found this very funny

Sat, July 3rd, 2010 2:03pm

Author
Reply

Haha Thanks ^^

Sat, July 3rd, 2010 8:44pm

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Sierra MacKenzie

lol, I laughed my azz with this. Awesome job with the whole thing..:D

Sat, July 3rd, 2010 11:14pm

Author
Reply

Thanks ^^

Sat, July 3rd, 2010 8:44pm

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Katorina

This was really funny! :)

Sun, July 4th, 2010 11:14am

Author
Reply

Thanks! ^^

Sun, July 4th, 2010 4:22am

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HushedEcho

Wow, this was very amusing.
Haha.
Spelling things wrong is hard.
It actually takes time for me to think of that, ha.
Very funny.

Sun, July 4th, 2010 11:31pm

Author
Reply

Thanks ^^ And It Took More Concentration Than Spelling Things Right xD

Mon, July 5th, 2010 1:07am

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HappyElf

Omg! dIs Is So NT tRu! Em04LyFe! I kid, I kid xD This actually made me laugh, and normally things like this don't- so awesome job ^_^ Haha xD
Luckily, I don't actually know any of these people (right now, my school is filled with "Chenes", or Chav-Scenes), so yeah ^_^
Again- mint job xD

Sat, July 10th, 2010 3:12am

Author
Reply

PAHA Thanks (': All You Have To Do Is Go On Facebook And BAMN. Fake Wonderland (':

Fri, July 9th, 2010 8:59pm

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swimFire

This made my day ahahahaha :) I love it

Sun, July 18th, 2010 11:55am

Author
Reply

Thanks ;D

Mon, July 19th, 2010 6:51pm

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vanillaisicky

hahahaha wow, this totally descibed have the people in my school x'D

Tue, July 20th, 2010 12:10am

Author
Reply

Paha (':

Mon, July 19th, 2010 6:51pm

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darkman1408

that was fucking hilarious. i might follow those steps for the hell of it, but then again, I'll be laughing too hard and fuck it up. I tell all of the supposedly emo kids at school to hurry up and kill themselves, because I'm tired of their damn whining. unfortunately, no casualities.

Thu, July 22nd, 2010 3:50pm

Author
Reply

Paha thanks dude (':

Fri, July 23rd, 2010 4:41am

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dw817

Not sure what an Emo is but I have tried to take my life a few times to the point I was placed in a mental ward for months at a time, complete with having my lungs charcoaled and wrists restitched. Depression does that to you.

So not everyone is a poser, as you say.

Yes what you wrote is funny, but only if you've never been there. ?

Fri, September 3rd, 2010 6:50am

Author
Reply

Sorry To Break It To You But I Used To Have SERIOUS Issues, I Saw A Counsellor And All That Shit :] So I Know EXACTLY What It Is Like To Be Depressed And :L I've Been There, Done That, And I Find It All Rather Hilerious (':

Fri, September 3rd, 2010 6:00am