How To Be A Wanna-Be

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
How To Be A Fake. This Is A Mock Thing - Don't Take It Seriously. If You're An 'Emo' And Take Offence, You're A Poser, Wanna-be. get Over Yourself.

Submitted: July 02, 2010

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Submitted: July 02, 2010

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HOWTOBEAFAKE.

Facebook.

Emo.

Step 1.

Picture

Type in 'emo' on google and search the images. Choose a picture from the first page; wouldn't want anyone thinking you're clever, or real. Make sure that the picture isn't of anyone smiling, and that there is a knife or some self-injuring object in the picture. Be sure for them to have dark hair that covers their eyes like a shetland pony, make-up that makes them look like their parents had it on with a badger, and dark depressing clothes featuring some band that can't sing for their life. T Rex for instance.

Step 2.

Facebook

Create a facebook, set that awesome picture of some emo cuttingtheir wrists you found on google as your profile picture. Make sure to write some comment underneath begging for more wanna-be emos and fakes to comment on it saying your picture is hot.

Step 3.

About Me

It must be depressing, obviously poser and spelt-wrong all the way through. Put something about hating your parents, everyone you know dying and life being a bitch on there. If you struggle to come up with something, folow this simple guide.

"I'm mia! i'm 14, emo i hte my lyfe it scks, my prents hate mi and no-1 undrstds me evry1 at skl thnk clling mi nmes gts mi dwn, bt i alrdy wnt to dye so it dsnt wrk.

EMO4 LYFE!

luv all mi emo frends.

I wnt 2 die.

(SpElLiNg LiKe ThIs Is AlSo CoNsIdErEd GoOd)

Step 4.

Adding People

Join lots and lots of emo pages, even the ones making fun of emos, as long as they have the word emo in it they are a must. Add everyone who joins these groups, comments or so much as glances at them. Make sure half of them don't speak english; this is essential seeing as they are the facebok friend fillers you need. Next add all their friends that writes on their wall or appear to be friends with them.

(If anyones asks "do I know you" say "No, i'm emo too" that should DEFIANTLY convince them to keep you on their friend list)

Step 5.

Acting

Now that you have a facebook full of people equally as wanna be as you, you need to know how to act. Everyone hour or so post depressing status's, qoute songs, or famous people. Remember; there isalways something bad going on in your life. Your boyfriend (Yes boyfriend, even if you're a boy, you're gay, or bi, or pansexual...) hates you, cheated on you, broke up with you. Your parents grounded you, shouted at your or tried to hug you. Your friends ran out of credit and couldn't text back, your friend can't make it to your house, your friend laughed at you. Oh; and one of your internet wanna-be friends wants to kill themself - a good status about how much you love them and want them to live should do the trick nicely. When someone asks you about bands, you have to know everything. Google and Wiki-pedia are your new bestfriends. in fact, your only bestfriends; unless you count that random indonsian guy that added you last week and has the same t-shirt as you as your friend.

Step 5.

More Photos

Always post lots of pictures of crying eyes, bleeding wrists and people with guns to their heads, so you and all your emo friends can appreciate the art work that razor made. Find some picture of scarred wrists, postthem and claim their your wrists, this always works fantastcially to convnice people you're depressed. Also; post more pictures of other people that you claim are you, they must be completely different to your other picture (The eyes can't be the same eye-colour, neither can the hair, and the face structure defiantly can't match) but make sure their hot and 100% emo.

Wouldn't anyone to think you're a poser now would we?

Step 6.

Online Relationships

Now you have charmed the ladies (men; you're ladies) you have to pick the one that doens't have any pictures of herself, but has a impressive selection of roses, guns, knives and blood. Ask her and she will defiantly say yes (Who wouldn't; you're such a hottie) Next write on your profile how much you love her, and that she is the only reason you're alive. Cutting and pasting eachothers pictures so there next to eachother and setting it as your profile picture is essential. People need to know you have a girlfriend.

Despite having a girlfriend never stop flirting, you're a hot emo, you can have anyone.

Step 7.

Being Offened

If someone accuses you of being a 'poser' (Who would do such a thing?) get angry, tell all your emo friends and spam their facebook page with hate. If someone disses 'emo' do the same but say pathetic stuff which you have to think is actually a good comeback like 'EMOISMYLIFE' but you have to spell it wrong, of course,

Step 8.

Being Real

God-forbid someone calls you a fake, delete their comments and delete them from your profile. Even block them if it makes you feel better. Tell all your emo friends that the person who called you a fake is an ex-friend who you recently fell out with. If you do not delete the comments say something back like 'Prove it' then block the person from commenting on your photos. A few minutes later write on the same photo 'I thought so'. This will look like you owned them; because in reality, you can't.

Step 9.

Done.

You are now a emo facebooker!

Congratulations; remember to follow these steps closely!

P.S

Really;Don't


© Copyright 2017 HelloKittyFucksTheMainstream. All rights reserved.

Humor love dark depression gay drugs dying band online relationships life guns eyes picture hate fake people boy suicide reality simple die everything boyfriend girlfriend kill claim calls fun depressed live flirting feel alive thought write house work friend reason thinking art cant angry internet facebook blood act hot struggle songs guide men cutting making bright parents search friends bad black laugh knife crying acting wrong depressing google word stop list must structure next couldnt commenting yes everyone profile random someone say always never comment real english come works type person count seeing unless join called considered guy images broke photo face bleeding cheated hug choose fact pathetic ones awesome clothes wall sing hair spam groups page credit bands full grounded bi famous trick hating emo block scarred spell completely keep annoying ladies emos pictures loves roses oh beatles disco photos speak form comments razor begging smiling knives ask create tell lots match text hour fell step hottie later object heads prove ran half minutes week ha clone pages clever scene add makes pit wouldnt anyone actually bt tried wanna wants added pick underneath isnt recently setting youre impressive appear homicide despite appreciate luv slit bestfriends make-up delete frends post neither pony equally rex laughed charmed obviously writes hates concerts owned mi status neon wrists poser remeber shetland fakes spelling badger accuses adding asks comeback ex-friend convince covers t-shirt essential selection eachother joins mocking glances defiantly mosh shouted wanna-be lyfe instance dye themself fakers smocking slef self-injuring featuring syaing spelt-wrong folow hte scks prents no- undrstds evry skl thnk clling nmes gts dwn alrdy wnt dsnt wrk facebok fillers anyones statuss qoute pansexual nicely wiki-pedia indonsian fantastcially convnice eye-colour doenst pasting eachothers offened disses god-forbid

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