The Power To Adjust Your Sales - from The Inconvenient Parent

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is a piece that identifies one of the biggest lessons I've ever learned, and something everyone needs to realize when facing any adversity.

The Power To Adjust Your Sails

By Henry Duthler


One of the most difficult things to do as you are going through a stressful time in your life is to acknowledge that it is happening.  Whether you are separating from a spouse, dealing with the loss of your job, financial instability, or addiction, there are emotions that take hold of you and your defenses come up.  No one likes to admit they have a problem, especially if they are feeling like they are either trapped, confused, or simply feel like things are spinning out of their control.  Our lives can be filled with heartaches and pain.  We all experience our share of things we can not control and sometimes it becomes so overwhelming we just want to hide ourselves away and lock the door.  But it doesn’t have to be like that.

As I was growing up, my father took up sailing.  I remember the day he bought his first sailboat and the sheer joy in his face when he was out sailing on Lake Huron, powered by nothing but his faith in the wind.  I often wondered, what if the wind just took him out to sea, and never changed direction?  How would he ever come back?  How much love would he have for the sailboat as he floated into the horizon away from everyone and everything he loved?  It wasn’t until many years later that I realized how silly my fears were and that I have missed such an important detail in how I viewed my father’s faith in the wind.  My father was just an ordinary man who didn’t have any mystical powers over nature.  He didn’t have the ability to perform miracles and ultimately he understood very clearly that he would never be able to control the wind that carried him across the water.  But he did have the ability to adjust his sail. 

There are many things in life we can not control.  There are things we must endure every day that seem unfair, and sometimes cruel.  No matter how powerless we might feel in their presence, there is always one thing that we can hold on to, that one thing that gives us the strength and the ability to overcome whatever stands in our way.  It is simply our ability to choose how we deal with it. 

For many of us, we feel entitled to dwell on our heartaches, to sit and wallow in self pity when we are faced with loss.  But what do you do when you have children who need you to be strong?  When their eyes are fixed on you for comfort and guidance?  There are really only two logical choices to this question: Consume yourself in your loss or give meaning to the loss.

Although it seems natural to protect yourself when we experience pain and loss, I truly believe that we are destined to relive that pain over and over again if we don’t embrace it and give it meaning.  By choosing the second option, we take away all of the hurt immediately and begin to recover instantaneously.  When your spouse leaves you, and you don’t know what her reasons were or why she left you, you can spend the rest of your life speculating and guessing, and never know if you’ve figured it out.  It is like a revolving door that never allows you to exit the turnstile.  However, if you give your own reasons why, you answer the question immediately, allowing yourself to move past this, and to move on.  It is your time to take the helm, to adjust the sail, and to set a new course. 

Submitted: May 02, 2014

© Copyright 2022 Henry Duthler. All rights reserved.

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