Please Save Me (Extreme Horror Story Contest)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Almae, a girl kidnapped by a secret society of cannibals finds love when she meets Alcom who tries to hold her as long as possible. Almae has to find a way out before the cannbials kill her.

There is something in there. Every time I pass the eyes stare. The eyes up in that same tree watch me as a slowly or hurry past until they can't see me anymore. My own little watchers, watching me as a dare to make a move past them. Are they really there? When ever my friends look up in that very same tree, they see nothing as I do the same, but when ever nobody is around they watch me. Is it in my head?

" What's the matter?" My friend Allella says as she walks over. I look back and see her making her way to me. I'm sitting on a bench with my head placed gently in between my folded arms which are rested on the table of the bench. She smiles and finally gets to me. She slides each leg next to me and takes a seat. I turn my head slowly. I am sitting in the place where I usually am at. It's an empty lot where everyone just hangs and talks. Well, not everyone, people like me, people who are different. You know, people who just don't care.

" Oh you know, nothing," I say as I turn my head back around and bury it in my arms again.

" What are your parents demanding who you should be again?" She asks. She was right. That's all they do day until the night. The find the smallest things about me and eat me. Eat me alive until I can't take it anymore.

" What does it matter, you don't understand." She gives me a look. She swings her bag which is wrapped around her body and places it on the table. She begins to look around in it. She stops.

" Almae, just because I don't have your parents doesn't mean I don't understand," She demands. She finally pulls out a glass bottle. She holds the glass bottle's top with her dark finger nailed hands and pops it open.

" Whatever." I say.

" Want a sip?" She asks as she leans the opening of the bottle to me. I look at the bottle and look away.

" Nah." She swings back the drink to her mouth. When she was done she wipes her wet mouth with her hand and looks around.

" So." I look around, I see a few people leaning against a wall talking. They look up and see me and smile. I smile back and look away.

" So, yeah I have to go," I say sliding each leg out.

" Bye Almae." I see the tree. The usual eyes, staring at me, like they want me. I stare back wondering if they are really there. Are they even eyes? As I slowly make my way, I decide to say something. If someone where in that tree, they would have said something or try to get out by now. I look at it for a little.

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" Hey, is anyone up there?" I say. There was nothing. They said nothing or if they could say something, they didn't. So I walk on. As night falls upon me I get the usual yelling my parents prepare for me. I give up for the night and walk to my room, slamming the door. My heart filled with the usual hurt it's suppose to feel. Why don't they love me? I open my window and fill my body with the air. I couldn't take this anymore. Why do I even bother? I decide to go for a small walk. As I reach out each leg onto the lower roof of me, I gently make my aim. I jump down and decide to go to that tree. I have never been to that tree in the dark and so I dare myself to do so. As I reach there I stare. Nothing. Soon I realized something. They just blinked! The eyes blinked at me! How could this be? Now I know something is in there or maybe not. Maybe it's just all in my head. I begin to laugh at what I saw. I laughed until I heard something.

" What's so funny?" I hear. I hurry to look behind me, but nobody was there. I look to my both sides and not a person was there.

" Hello, is someone there?" I say.

" Yes. Someone is here, but I asked you something first."

" Who's there?" I yell.

" You have to answer me in order for me to answer you."

" Come out, this isn't funny!"

" Then why did you laugh? Why do you stare at me everyday?" He says. A man jumps out the tree and lands right in my face. He smiles and is oddly pale. He stands tall against me and I look up.

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" Why do you stare at me? Why do you stay in that tree, do you watch me?" I ask. I was expecting the no like he was offended, but he didn't say no.

" Yes."

" Yes?"

" Yes, I watch you. Everyday I watch you. Is that why you stare? You don't believe I am there, do you?"

" Stop this, this isn't funny anymore," I say as he gains closer and I move back.

" It was never funny," He says. I hurry and run, letting my legs take my body faster than I could maintain. What if I tripped? What would he do to me? You see those girls gone missing,am I next? I see my front lights and gain more to my house. I hurry to the door, I bang and scream, but he comes from the back of me and covers my mouth with his hand. He holds my body tight and covers my mouth making sure nobody can here me.

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" Sh, if you struggle you will die," He says.

" Please!" I yell.

That's when I faint. In times like these, the last thing you should do is faint because when you open your eyes, things are different. As I open my eyes, I feel pain. A sudden pain and rushto my arms and I realize why. My hands are above my head, attached to the wall with a metal wrap around me. I stare as a man walks to me, blood around his mouth.

" Are you alright now?" He asks. I begin to scream, but he covers my mouth. I suddenly stop and calm myself.He lets go.

" Where am I?" I ask.

" Oh don't worry about that, we will take good care of you." I look around to see dead bodies, open and bleeding. The smell makes my head spin. They lay dead with thing crawling in their insides, feeding until the other swat them away.

" Please let me go!" I beg. He smiles and pulls a knife out of his pocket. He raises it to my neck and slides it. He licks the open cut up and down. He feels it for a little and licks the left over blood off his blade.

" You are the most delicous. I know I willenjoy you!" He says as he raises the knife, about to stab. He was going to jam it into my neck when a tall, pale and long hair guy walks to him, he grabs his arm. He was very nice looking, but why am I saying this in time like these? I can't resist, he was pleasurable.

" Wait! Father, shouldn't we reserve this one? She is special," He says giving me a side glance.

" Alcom, are you serious?" He asks.

" Very, now get everyone ready, we have to let them beg, that's the best part," Alcom says. His father walks away and he walks to me. He smiles as I look afraid. He plays with my hair with his finger and inhales my scent.

" Please, don't do this to me," I beg.

" Oh, I'm afraid it's too late." He licks the rest of the blood coming from my neck and he bends his head back with pleasure.

" Get off of me you dirty vamp!" I yell. I hate vamps, I always have, I just never really believed they were real. Now that I know, maybe I should watch what I say.

" A vamp! You think I'm a vamp!" He begins to laugh with the others in the room. I stare at them all. What was so funny?

" What are you then?" I ask.

" Don't ever say that again. We are better, we could kill them in just an instant. We are the better men then them. We are cannibals." He says.

" Cannibals?" I ask. I begin laugh out so loud. I never really doubted what he said, but I though maybe if I do this, he'll soften up. Or maybe not.

" You find this funny?" He asks.

" Very funny. You think you are a cannibal, yeah right." He smiles.

" You don't believe?" He says.

" No way man."

" I'll show you then." He walks over to a dead body and holds up his arm. He looks back at me and smiles. Suddenly his teeth grind into the skin and rip out some of the arm's meat. He swallows and walks back to me, licking the blood around his mouth. I was afraid now. I was so afaid now that I almost passed out. He grabs my leg which is hanging there and has lost a bit of feeling. I begin to yell as he pulls my leg closer to his mouth. He licks it up and down until he finally opens his mouth. I yell for final terror and wait for it. He presses his teeth against my skin softly, not eating me. He looks up and smiles. I look at him, for he has just played the dirtiest trick on me.

" Please let me go. You shit! You are nothing, but shit!" I yell.

" Shit? I am not shit, I am just like you."

" You will never!"

" Fine." He walks around a bit.

" Where am I?" I ask.

" You know that old Altem Asylum in the back woods where you live?"

" Yes, the one shut down a long time ago?"

" Yes, that's where you are."

" An asylum?"

" Well, this is where we live. You crossed paths into our world and so you die."

" But I never crossed paths into here. You guys kidnapped me. Matter of fact, everyone will find me, you know the media! You are just a bunch of kidnappers, trying to scare me."

" Not really. They will never find you and yes we are kidnappers sometimes, but we are also more. Kidnapped you and all the rest."

" I never crossed paths into your world. I never crossed paths at all." I say defending myself.

" But we all have to eat, right?" He says. He smiles as me and suddenly lets the metal around my arms go. I fall to the ground and touch where I had been wrapped. He picks me up and brings me to a large room with hungry people. They all yelled with happiness of the sight of me. The boy lays be across the table and straps me against it. I struggle, but give up for there is no hope. I look around at the eaters. There was a little girl, she wasn't happy. She stares at me as I do the same.

" Please, please tell them not to eat me," I say very softly so only she can hear.

" I can't do that," She tells me.

" Why, you don't want to eat me, I'm just a girl. Just like you."

" No you're not, you are tasty I am not. I want your blood, your struggle, and your meat, you just want to get out of this place." I lost all hope now, as a man walks towards me, he carries a bowl. A big bowl of blood. He takes off my shirt and throws it on the ground. He spoons some blood onto my bare, top body and smiles at me. He soon leans over and drinks the blood he has poured on me and rips a layer of my skin off. It hurts so much! I bleed easily as he has done this and I begin to struggle more. Soon I look over and notice another table. It was another girl, she was covered in blood and had no clothes on. Everyone at her table was cheering. I saw the charming boy whom I met earlier and he looks up at me, evil as can be.

" And this is the night we will feast. This is the time we will eat, and she can't do anything," He says making sure I was watching. The poor girl turns her head to me and stares. She wasn't even trying to struggle, she gave up. When I stared off into her face, I realized something. Something so familiar, she was my friend. It was Allell! She gives me another look and I can swear she is saying Alm, not finishing my name. She stares at me and I can't believe that this is my fait. Soon a lady hops onto the table and digs her digs her nails into the pit of my friend. When I said I wanted something bed to happen to her, I didn't mean this. The lady brings up all kinds of stuff out her body, but she is still alive. Soon, she finally reaches a state of shock. The lady rips and tears at the organs as if it was nothing. Everyone digs deep into her. I just stare at there hungry mouths.

" Oh don't worry, you'll get your chance to die soon," The boy says, making sure I didn't watch this time. They are shoving food into my mouth. I can't take it. They are stuffing me until I burst and I can feel my throat clogging up.

" Is it time yet young master? Is it time?" A filthy man asks pulling on his shirt.

" Yes, I think it is, go ahead." The man begins to pull off all my clothes. I had nothing on, just like her. Is it my time? I can't undestand why me, but then I realize. He's not going to kill me, he's going to rape me. I hurry to struggle and fight, but no use. The man begins to take off his clothes and I try to get myself up. I yell and yell so much I throw up.

" Gross, the girl can't be eaten like that!" A lady says.

" You are right, fine, I will get her cleaned up," The boy says. He untangles me and I put my clothes back on, shaking. He holds my back and leads mesomewhere Halfway there,he holds my hand and hurries to what seems to be his room. It was a nice room, big. He closes the large doors and sits me on his bed. He smiles at me. What was he doing?

" Hurry, clean me up, finish me, just do your worst!" I yell with deep fear that I might end up like my friend.

" You knew her, didn't you."

" Yes, she was my friend, she was the only one who was true."

" She would come over all the time, trying to make you feel alright about yourself, but you don't take it. You just want the worst for her because you can't be her. Am I right? You've always felt that way, all she wanted from you was your love in return and you thought she was being perfect about it. She just loved you and you are just jealous."

" How long?" I ask.

" How long what?"

" How long have you been watching me?"

" Everyday. I've watched you everyday. I know everything about you, about how your parents are, Almae. I watch how you go to your room. I watch you when you suspect me of watching you and when you sleep. I am always watching you." It was scaring me. He begins to hold my neck gently and lick it.

" Please don't kill me."

" You are the best I have ever tasted. I really don't want you to go. Never, I never want you to go, but I am hungry and love doesn't last in a world of meat eaters."

" If you love me, why don't you never let me go?" I ask for my life.

" Because I don't love you,I love how you taste."

" Why can't you let me go?"

" That's the way things are."

" Please." He looks into my eyes.

" No."

" Why don't you just eat us all then?"

" Because, half the fun of eating you, is watching you beg for your lives."

" Well then, you won't have that honor. I will not beg for my life. No honor given to you, now." Soon we here a loud bang on the door.

" Alcom, where is the girl, I'm starving!" His father yells. He looks at me. He begins to put covers over me in a hurry.

" Don't move, stay here," He says. I peak out to see if there are any windows to run out of, but I decide it's best to stay here. You never know it I will get killed and he seems to be protecting me. Alcom opens the door. I peak out to hear and see what is happening.

" Where is the girl?" His father asks.

" I don't know. The others must have took her to get ready," He says.

" Fine then." I move a little.

" Are you alright?" He asks him.

" What is that in your bed?" He asks. The man walks over to me and uncovers me. I stop as ifhe just shot me. What should I do?

" I was cleaning her up." He gives me a long stare as if he was suspicous. He looks away and nods. His father leaves and Alcom closes the door. He walks back over to me and sits.

" Get me ready?" I say.

" Yes."

" Get me ready for what?" I ask.

" First they will make you eat, soon they'll take off all your clothes, since you've done that already all that's left is to finish you." I figured what they'd do next.

" I can't believe I am going to be eaten alive!" I yell.

" Please, you don't want him to come and find you, don't yell!"

" Fine, then I'll scream. I don't want to be eaten."

" I'm so sorry." He seems sincere, but how can I care?

" Sure." He looks at me and smiles.

" Take off your clothes." He says. I give him a look. How dare him!

" Who do you think I am?" I slap him as the mark is clearly shown on his face. He grabs my arm and pulls it to his mouth. My eyes couldn't believe what he was going to do. He bites me, but doesn't rip my skin. He drinks the blood as if he never tasted it. My heart didn't make a sound for at any time he can dig his teeth right into me. He does exactly what I fear. His teeth sink in for his resistance to temptation fails. He begins to eat me and I see as he chews the hard meat inside me. The meat which he loves.

" You never felt it before, doesn't it feel good? It hurts, but feels so good. Don't you want to feel it before you die?" He asks.

" No, no I don't."

" I'll eat you if you don't take off your clothes," He says jokingly.

" Do it, do it so I can escape this world I live in."

" Don't let your parents make you feel that way. People care about you, even the ones you don't know."

" Well, I just want to die, so eat me now. Why are you looking away?What! Oh no, a cannibal doesn't want to eat a human," I say sarcasticly.

" I don't know, you are special," He says with a smile.

" Really?"

" Yes, your flavor as well." He says, but doesn't look at me.I look at my arm, bleeding me out. He wraps it hard with a ripped piece of cloth and looks at me.

" I want to be like you."

" What! No you can't be like me" He yells. I felt this feeling when I was around him. I can be me.

" Why?"

" Because, it's not that easy for humans to do so. You have to be born into it to really love it. I mean you have to start raw. Raw meat, to raw animals, down to raw human."

" I can do it."

" Oh please, you would throw up your stomach." Soon I hear something. It was a mouse, crawling as if it had a business to be hear. He looks at me and smashes the rat with his shoe. He picks it up by it's tail and rips it apart. I stare at him as he observes my face. Observing to see if I would wreck in the sight of it, but I stand my ground.

" No, I can do it.You just don't understand."

" Yes, I do, you want to be like me to get away."

" Why are you hiding me?"

" Because, I thought it would be better to come and talk to you before you die."

" Do you like me?Do you do this to all your girls that are about to die?"

"No andNever."

" So you like me?"

" No, I just like the way you taste."

" What if I told you I wanted to be with you forever?"

" What if I told you I want to rip you open and eat your bloody intestines.I want to open you up and play with them. I'll lick off all the bloody and grind them open with my teeth. You intestines in swallowed into my body." I found this kind of pleasing.

" Fine."Was I in love? He smiles and pushes me against the bed. Soon he pushes his mouth into my mouth very hard. He's in my mouth and I can taste everything in his. He slides his hand down my shirt and begins to undress me. When he was done undressing me he does the same to himself. I felt something in my body. Was it love? He gets over top of me and I smile.

" We can live together and love each other." I say in his ear. He gives me a look.

" Love? I don't love, but we can eat together, eat everything together," He says hushed, but soon we heard a bang. His door opens and his dad stares. We both stare as if we can't do anything, we couldn't do anything.

" Why?" He asks.

" You send me to watch her and you expect me to feel nothing! I watch her all this time and you don't think I won't fall in love. I have grown to her, I have always been with her and you don't want me to feel."

" You know what must happen. My own son, I will miss you. Finish up here and get ready." He says as he closes the door. He place my hands on his face as he looks around.

" What will happen?"

" I can't tell you, but it's best if you knew. Well, they will have to eat me alive."

" What!" I yell.

" Yes."

" No, not because of me. That's shit. This is all shit!" I yell.

" It's not shit. None of it is shit. We can be together. We will finally be together. We can live together, die together." He says with honor. How can he feel like this was honor? To die with me.

" Die, I don't want to die, please, let's run."

" No, we can't, we are surrounded."

" I love you, do you love me?" I ask.

" I've always loved you, even though I am different."

" Then let's finish this last night." I stand up and touch his body. They knock down the door, chains and fire in there hands. I feel myself wanting tothrow up, but I don't. They grabme and chain my arms against my body as they do the same for him. He tries to get out, but it doesn't work. I look athim aseverything is over. They take me to the table I wassuppose to die at from the beginning and lay me down, his body on the other. I look over at him as he does the same. He smiles at me as his words haunt my little head, but soon they unchain me. The chains fall to the ground and they lift me up. Theyhold me up making sureI don't struggle. I realize what I must do. I realized everything I must do. I must watch him die, watch him die slowly. They riphis arm off as he arches. They begin to eatdearly. They ripoff his ear and pass it around as if a toy.The wind whistles and I shivered in tune, Istood there looking in his eyes, wondering if he loved me. Does he love me the way I do for him? Was this a dream?

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Submitted: May 17, 2009

© Copyright 2022 hhhh. All rights reserved.

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Comments

neverregret

that was differnt than i expected...very interesting...i'm glad you didn't do vampires, that would've been too predictable, i liked the long convo, made it seem unique and rushed (in a good way) kinda like they had no time left, which i think really was the case, unfortunately. a little horrific, just a little, but that was okay...no 'extreme' in there, but what can i say? I DID like it though. very much. congrats! peace. Kris.

Mon, May 18th, 2009 1:47am

Author
Reply

Yeah I didn't want to do the usual that everyone does. Besides everything now a days is so predictable when it comes down to what they really want to do. I really hope this impresses and I'm so glad you took the time to read!

Tue, May 19th, 2009 2:00pm

Popcorn66

really good! Better than I expected! REALLY AWESOME

Mon, May 18th, 2009 1:55am

Author
Reply

I'm really glad you read!

Tue, May 19th, 2009 2:01pm

JenDamsel

A bloody tale!!!! YUMMY YUMMY BLOOD!!! DELICIOUS! LOL
IS IT WEIRD THAT I FOUND IT YUMMY? MMM REALLY YUMMY LOL yummm hehe can't stop! lol

how can she believe they are vampire and then not believe they are cannibals? lol that was funny.


Ok got that out of my system lol... the story... i liked it, the plot was really interesting and different. i feel it was missing some darkness to it. it was light and a little sweet, and for that i loved. but since the challenge is horror i want to advise you to make dialogues way shorter, because we don't get scare when we know what will happen next. make us wonder. is she going to be eaten or not. does they really eat people? things like that. well i don't know how to write horror stories just poems so yeah this is all i can contribute to your story. i hope i was some how helpful, because i want you to win :D

:D

Tue, May 19th, 2009 9:15pm

Author
Reply

Yum, back at you! So yeah I don't think she really doubted them, just making sure or trying to reassure herself. I'm very disappointed in myself. There is nothing scary or extreme about this so I'm going to edit it. Hopefully I can add the dark effect before she sees it. I definately know now that I won't win. Hopefully when I edit it, it will be better. Your contributions are always helpful and I definately took it in.

Tue, May 19th, 2009 2:21pm

JenDamsel

Wow!!!! girl this is so much better!!! you rock! :P
this is absolutely awesome! and sound creepy but Yummy yummy! :P he he.

ok so what could be better? make line shorter to make the story more mysterious.(if you want me to show an example of what im talking about let me know) you know less pronouns. (or nouns? always confuse those two lol)
Do some spell cheeking and proof reading

Tue, May 19th, 2009 10:54pm

Author
Reply

So I hope it is better. Ok I will cut some things out and definately have to check my spelling! Definately am very greatful!

Tue, May 19th, 2009 4:01pm

Vedanta

Great stuff! Very well written. I like that the story is unique and quite rich. Hehehe, I promise I'm gonna start reading PRESSED today. Great job! =)

Wed, May 20th, 2009 8:42am

Author
Reply

It's such an honor, really. I am very glad you read this, I need as many people as I can so that I can get their views. If you read my series I would much appreciate it! Maybe, you might like it, hopefully!

Wed, May 20th, 2009 1:24pm

yuu shindemura

this is done out of a new tale of cannibalism! lol!XD though yeah, i'd agree what mssjenn has said. always leave few details for the reader's surprise. ^.^

your imagination is well-planned, though some words are redundant--disect them and you get the thought to be one unique story!

keep going with inspiration and enthusiasm in your writings. ;)

Mon, May 25th, 2009 4:11pm

Author
Reply

Thanks so much for your honest opinion and for reading! Yeah I thought that everyone needs a change for fantasy characters and well, why not characters that eat human, right? Not just drink blood. So yeah I can be pretty redundant, I'm not very smarty so my vocabulary tends to lack it's ability to bring up special words or even new words, but I'm trying my hardest to read more and pick up on things better. I also have a short intension spand so whenever I do learn something new, I have to read it over and over again to actually really pick up on it, unless it's a cool word, then I'll say it a lot! So thanks so much and your word really does help me.

Mon, May 25th, 2009 9:19am

JenDamsel

hey! i love the picture that you put as main in the story (the bloody lips) hehe you know how much i love blood. that pic is Yuummmy Yumm lol ;D
just a random comment lol

Mon, May 25th, 2009 4:52pm

Author
Reply

Yeah I really liked it too! When I found it, I was battling between another one or this one and I ultimatilly decided that this one was way better. Blood!

Mon, May 25th, 2009 9:59am

tyigo

i like it well it has lots of blood but coolb lol omj

Tue, May 26th, 2009 5:31pm

Author
Reply

Yeah blood! I love blood, blood is good, blood! I'm so wierd. Anyways so glad you read!

Tue, May 26th, 2009 1:20pm

XxalexandraxX

ooooooooooooo, i have to say that i like it alot! very unique!!! come to my profile 2morrow to see it u won!! very big chance, btw! great stoy!!


-XxalexandraxX

Sun, May 31st, 2009 6:15pm

Author
Reply

I hope that I win, I'm so happy you read this! Yeah! I hope that I win! I can't wait, no really I can't! Can't wait!

Sun, May 31st, 2009 11:27am

Erynn Louviaite

Kind of weird, but an original and interesting topic. I love how she thought they were vampires - that was funny.

Fri, June 12th, 2009 12:47am

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading. Yes, I do think it's pretty original. Yeah that was pretty funny, I have a thing against them.

Fri, June 12th, 2009 3:42pm

RogueHost

Haha. You have the cannible thing going. That. Is actually quite scary. I think she's a little messed up. Your short stories seem to find a way to make something as messed up as this turn out to have a romantic side that makes the reader want to forgive the monster. Having him love and willingly accept his fate makes him seem more human then he appeared to be in the beginning. It also sets him apart from the other monsters in this story. Great work!!! :D
Rogue Xo

Sun, July 5th, 2009 1:42pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading. Yeah, I don't know why, but it really interests me! I think she's very messed up, she wanted to die, but I can see why. I wouldn't want to be eaten alive! Yeah I know, I'm so messed up, but in the end you kind of want to go AW! Yeah I think he really has a heart, but he just can't show the others or he'll end up the way he did. Thanks so much!

Sun, July 5th, 2009 11:18am

purpleab77

Omg I loved this! Not many things scare me but this creeped me out a bit :)

Sun, July 5th, 2009 8:29pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading. Yeah it is kind of wierd, isn't it? I'm glad I scared you, well not glad, but the main effect I wanted to give the reader of frights! Thanks so much for reading!

Sun, July 5th, 2009 1:39pm

EmoStar

creepy. i like it though! it should be a novel. no idea what thay dude looked like, i wasn't sure to imagine him as a human looking boy, a giant, or even a blob of green muke. (Dont ask). If you do make it a novel, tell me!

Sat, July 25th, 2009 5:50pm

Author
Reply

Yes, it is seriously crazy and I'm so glad that you liked it. Well, he is definately a human, I'm not to fond of blob muke, but yes he is a young boy, teen, who is very handsome and nice looking, but has a killer instinct, if you know what I'm saying! That's a good idea, to make it into a story, it could be possible, the reoccurance of strange events, maybe I will! If I do, I will definately let you know!

Sat, July 25th, 2009 8:50pm

NikiFM

It's creepy...But I love it. It was very addicting!!!

Sun, July 26th, 2009 7:51pm

Author
Reply

I'm glad you like it and yes, it was very creepy, glad you found it addicting though!

Sun, July 26th, 2009 5:08pm

Danielhynd

Wow. Thats different from I usaully read but the picture of the bloody lips drew me to read it! But wow, gruesome but I liked it. I was reading it last night in the dark, no joke! And my dad turned the internet off, so my laptop lost connection and I couldn't read the rest, was pretty annoyed! But this is good, I was quite sick feeling when they made her watch her friend die. But overall its really good. You should write more horror stories. Unless you have already, this is the first Ive read. So I'm going to read more :D

Wed, August 5th, 2009 10:02am

Author
Reply

Yes, I'm glad it was different so no one can relate and enjoy the difference, if you know what I mean! Yeah the bloody lips definately attracted me when I saw them, actually I saw another just like it and I was seriously spening about 20 mins. deciding which one I should pick, this one won! Yeah a bit gruesome, a nice tale of impossible love! You really read this in the dark, don't look back! Oh no, you couldn't read the rest! That is ok, it's pretty long, but just know that it was gruesome! I'm so glad you read and liked it! Such an amazing writer reading my writing is very sweet! Yes, I do have more scary stories, I found myself wanting more!

Wed, August 5th, 2009 11:54am

moniquekarraa

wow that was amazing

Thu, August 6th, 2009 10:22pm

Author
Reply

Thank you!

Thu, August 6th, 2009 4:14pm

MoNicA sToDaRd LoVes VAMpires

i pressed "i like it" 2 times...cause i do its amazing! this was really good and creepy! i like it alot!

Thu, August 13th, 2009 11:14pm

Author
Reply

Aw really, that's so nice of you, thanks! I'm so glad you found it amazing, I had the idea in my head for so long and I was afraid to put it out there and as long is it is, it's pretty simple. I'm glad you found it creepy because that's exactly what I was shooting for! Thanks so much for reading and I hope I didn't creep you out too much!

Thu, August 13th, 2009 4:20pm

connieemo1

woah this is some great story! i htink you are an excellent writer

Tue, September 1st, 2009 11:02am

Author
Reply

I'm so glad you liked it! That's great to hear that you think I'm an excellent writer! Yeah!

Tue, September 1st, 2009 12:44pm

killertabby

Wed, September 23rd, 2009 10:53pm

Author
Reply

Really? You think so, I really appreciate that, I can't stop smiling now, it makes me happy to know that I've impressed and yes, blood! Loads of it!

Thu, September 24th, 2009 11:31am

Alex3315

oh wow this was amazing i just got done reading it, and wow you truly are an amazing author:), great great work.
PS. Stupid question, but did the son and father like take turns watching her? lol
Again great story,
And basher, "Shove it!, what the heck is your problem?, if you don't like it don't read it very simple, you don't have to go around criticizing other people's work.

Sat, September 26th, 2009 4:11pm

Author
Reply

I'm so glad you liked it and read it, it's a very long story, but I hope you really liked it! I'm not sure what you mean. The father and son took turns watching her when? When she was alone at her, after she was taken away? But yeah, just tell me what you mean and I'll totally get it, I'm so glad you liked it, makes me all happy inside! I know I hate those people, they are all like, I'm wasting my time reading this, and I'm like, exactly stupid! People are so stupid sometimes, if they don't like it fine, but you can say it at least nicely! Whatever, they can shove it and die, but I appreciate your comment though!

Sat, September 26th, 2009 9:15am

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