The Poisonous Truth

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
The worst days of my life replay's everyday in my head, I hope you guys realize that it did take a lot for me to write this..
This picture was a picture of my bestfriend and his daughter the day after he got custody of her.

Submitted: December 07, 2011

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Submitted: December 07, 2011

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I felt my heart break as I read it over and over again: Jake is dead. Those words are now burned in a part of my brain that I cannot erase. I felt tears swell, and the warmth slowly rolling down my cheeks. My bestfriend, my lover, my soulmate, he was gone. How could someone so strong, so sweet, so loving be gone?
What? This is some joke, right? I text his sister back. I felt multiple emotions swirl through me, pain, dispare, hurt, anguish and more.

I looked at my phone until finally, I got a text back. Not a joke, Alykins. He died on the second, he went to the party to get his mind off his broken heart. He died in a fire. But they suspect foul play. Any ounce of hope I had left in the world had left me in that instant.
How could someone who survived 9/11 die from a fire, how could he have survived cancer, but be burned to death, how could He take away someone who had a daughter, who had a bestfriend who needed him when she was weak. Then, as if I went back in time, I remembered the last thing I talked about with him. Not talked, it was more of a fight, I was walking around my neighborhood, me and him talking.

I’m tired of waiting for you, Jake. I’m tired of being the second best, she doesn’t treat you how you deserve to be treated, yet you run back to her as if your life depended on it!”

“Alyson I love you! But I can’t leave her, I love her.”

I felt everything I’d ever held onto die right then and their, “Then I can’t keep waiting, I have things to see Jakeypoo, I love you so so much but I’m not going to hang around, being your secret lover while I see and hear about her every day. I’m done!”

“Bye.”

I felt myself begin to cry as I remembered that night. Was it my fault that he had went to the party? I text her back a simple, but heart-wrenching text: Who was he trying to get his mind off of?
It was like she had texted back in a million years, when in reality it was no more then seconds. My heart broke more and more as I kept reading the text all over, my vision blurry, my heart racing, my breathing slowed down so much I was afraid: You.

But he didn’t love me, I started, He kept choosing her over me! I was done waiting. I thought he was just mad at me. But he’s gone? Jesus fucking Christ! I text her back, I feel someones hand on my leg.

“You okay, Love?” My friend Kishi had asked me, I shook my head from side to side. Everything was going in slow motion. I spent the rest of the day with Kishi, quiet and sad, crying whenever something reminded me of him.
The next day I was picked up at my sister, I thought maybe, just maybe, the guy I had chosen over Jake could make it better, lessen the pain a little, you know? But then I realized that karma had a cruel sense of humor when it came to me. Ten minutes after I get to my sisters friends house, where my boyfriend was staying, I hear an: “Alyson, can I talk to you.”
Being the person I am, I put on a fake, cheery smile and replied with yes. “Alyson, Brady didn’t want to tell you this, but he doesn’t want this to go on and for you to get hurt. He wants to break up, he swears its not because he doesn’t like you, he does, but he had family problems.” Linda told me. I nodded, my heart had stopped, first Jake, now this? I left that day a whole new, broken, girl. I wish I could say I didn’t blame myself to this day, but in all reality, I do. I always do, every night to this day, I blame myself.
How could something so perfect, be ruined in two days? And I realized, Karma had it out for me.


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