The Dead Sea

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

When I first came here, with a rucksack and sleeping bag I was a different person. I didn’t even know that person. The only similarity left was the name. Alice Hindley. Apart from that, we were two different people.

I was sinking. Deeper and deeper into the never ending darkness. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t see. I tried struggling. But the ropes that bound me held tighter; I was still sinking.

My eyes flashed open. I looked around me and breathed a sigh of relief on seeing the familiar surroundings. A small room with a low roof, the plaster on the walls peeling. A desk sat in the corner with huge amounts of paper and trash. I turned to my side, the rusted springs of my bed creaking unpleasantly. Yawning, I stared out of the only window in the room.

I couldn’t blame the architect for making only one window. I wouldn't have made any.

The sky outside was constantly grey, and it made the trees and ground under it look equally dull. There were small patches of grass here and there, but they were trying to live in death...They'd disappear in no time. Vanishing into the essence of this place, like everything else did. The trees were mostly bare and the few that had leaves on them were far away.

And on the horizon lay a sea. It fit in perfectly with its surroundings. It looked black and stretched as far as I could see. It looked dead, like everything else around it. It invited death. It was because of the sea that everything here was like this. Dead.

I shifted my gaze away from the depressing view and yawned again. I glanced at the clock on the wall.
Six thirty in the morning. I sighed again, this time it was full of regret. What was I thinking? All those months back when I had left home. I was young, carefree and wanted adventure. I was tired of being cooped up inside. I was foolish. I left everything behind, and came here. And after four months here, I had grown fast inside, though I still looked like the teenager I was a millennia ago. I was dead inside.

When I first came here, with a rucksack and sleeping bag I was a different person. I didn’t even know that person. We had the same face. And that was it.

I pulled on a dirty pair of jeans and an unwashed T-shirt, and pulling on a turtle neck sweater above that, I opened the door. It creaked, it hinges had been last oiled, probably years ago.

I turned left, crossing three doors just like mine, and reached a staircase. I walked down it step by step. Slowly. Taking my time to avoid what I would meet below.
I finally reached the ground floor. The dusty floorboards protested and groaned under my weight, the noise resounding against the plain white walls.
I walked across the empty hall, entering the kitchen to see a girl and a boy, sitting at the dining table. They both looked tired and depressed. Their hair was uncombed and they were as pale as I was. I sat beside them.

“Where is Tom Cooper?” I asked the boy next to me. My voice was cracked and unpleasant.

“He went out yesterday, to the sea” he sighed, and turned to look into my eyes. His lifeless black eyes stared into mine.

“Who's going to come, when?” I asked him.

“A boy, Henry Edge. Tomorrow” he replied.
I went out. And picking up some wood from the pile of firewood outside I trudged back in and put it in the fireplace. I didn’t light it, though. What warmth would it bring to this place?

I then sat back at the table, the boy and girl had disappeared.

I sat back, staring at pale ceiling, and thought. Thought about what I was doing here. I didn’t know. I couldn’t remember. I couldn’t remember anything, not my family, not my friends. I didn’t know where I was from. Maybe I belonged here. No! Of course I didn’t. Then where did I belong? God... Where was He? Who was He? Who was I?

I stood up and walked out again. And walked. And walked. And walked.
I reached the sea. I looked across. It extended as far as I could see. I was trapped. Trapped here. Trapped within myself. I was not myself. I was dead already. My soul was not with me, it had moved on.

Who was I? I asked myself again. I stared into the sea. The dead sea. I stared into the clean, black water; I had no reflection staring back at me. I blinked twice and looked up again. The sea, it spread its arms out. It called me. It told me I belonged with it. I did. I knew I did. I wanted to join it. It wanted me. I wanted it.

I took one step and then another, my feet soaked in the water, it was freezing. I didn’t notice. I didn't even care. I walked on. I walked further and further. The sea beckoned me. It encouraged me. It knew I had no life back there. It understood. I walked in.

I was submerged up to my shoulders. I didn’t mind. I felt warm inside, though I was freezing. I walked on; I started running, deeper and deeper. And then I didn’t have to run.

The sea wrapped its arms around me. It kissed me, and pulled me away from my fears. I embraced the sea, it would take care of me, I knew.

I was sinking, deeper and deeper.

I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t see. I didn’t struggle. I let myself go.


Submitted: April 30, 2010

© Copyright 2022 Holmes. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Holmes

This is my first one, if your free, and in the mood for it, please read it and tell me what you think :-) Thank you

Fri, April 30th, 2010 9:49am

Ryukai

Fri, April 30th, 2010 10:09am

Author
Reply

:-)

Mon, May 3rd, 2010 8:26am

Ryukai

Its good, it has a happy yet sad ending...very enjoyable...i look forward to reading more of your work

Fri, April 30th, 2010 10:10am

Author
Reply

Thank you! :-)

Mon, May 3rd, 2010 8:26am

Adelaide DeWitt

awesome essay
grate job :)

Sat, May 8th, 2010 12:12am

Author
Reply

Thanks a lot :-)

Fri, May 7th, 2010 10:29pm

madaGDarko

This is really good. Very imaginative. I like it.

I have posted my entry for UnderxYourxSpell contest. It's my first ever novel. Please read it and let me know what you thought of it. Thank you. :)

Sat, May 8th, 2010 12:58am

Author
Reply

Sure :-) Thank you

Fri, May 7th, 2010 10:32pm

cloudsgrey

There were small patches of dying grass here and there. The trees were mostly bare and the few that had leaves on them were far away. And on the horizon lay a sea. It fit in perfectly with its surroundings. It looked black and stretched as far as I could see.It looked dead, like everything else around it.It invited death. It was because of the sea that everything here was like this. Dead.------------------i like that.....good work... i think you will really enjoy my work....

Sat, May 8th, 2010 2:33am

Author
Reply

Thanks... :-) I'd like to read your work as well.

Fri, May 7th, 2010 10:32pm

Caiteeee

This is an amazing piece, great work!

Sat, May 8th, 2010 2:46am

Author
Reply

Thank you :-)

Fri, May 7th, 2010 10:31pm

jewel09

A really good piece of work, I liked it a lot :)

Sat, May 8th, 2010 4:14am

Author
Reply

Thanks :-)

Fri, May 7th, 2010 10:32pm

Bailey James

That was really good, almost like a poem. It was very deep. I liked it alot. :)

Sat, May 8th, 2010 7:08am

Author
Reply

Thank you. :-)

Sat, May 8th, 2010 12:52pm

STS

....... Excellent prose, excellent descriptions and emotions. Well done.

Uh, I'm pretty sure that this is NOT an essay. This is a short story. (the word "essay" tends to scare off potential readers)

Couple of grammar errors.

-The Sam

Sat, May 8th, 2010 7:28am

Author
Reply

Okay, I wasn't too sure what it was actually. I'll change it now. Thanks. :-)
I corrected the grammar errors, with help. :)

Sat, May 8th, 2010 12:52pm

UnderxYourxSpell

Wow. That was so chilling and strange to read, but strange in a good way; a very good way. I particularly liked your description of the place where she lived and the sea. I can't quite explain it, but something about it gave me shivers. I think it was perfectly written. I love how you went full circle with this piece; it was chilling and completely entrancing. The atmosphere you created was superb. It felt like I was watching the story as a black and white film in my head, the colour leached from the narrative by the sea. In short, it was incredibly good.

A word of caution though: be careful with how you start your sentences. I find a lot that people who write in first person begin many sentences with 'I...' ('I did this...', 'I did that...') and it becomes a bit tedious to read. For example, 'I pulled on a dirty pair of jeans and an unwashed T-shirt. I pulled on a turtle neck sweater above that.' Now, in some parts of your writing the 'I...' repetition works to make her movements feel monotonous and almost zombie-like, like the sea has killed her vigour. I especially liked how you did that with the last paragraph. Here, however, I would combine those two sentences to vary your sentence structure a bit more, like so: 'I pulled on a dirty pair of jeans and an unwashed T-shirt, then a turtle neck sweater on top of that.'

I'm a grammar freak at heart, so I hope you don't mind if I offer you a few technical corrections? Believe me, it's a sort of backwards compliment on my part; I wouldn't take the time to read through your work and write corrections unless I really liked it :) So, here you go (corrections are in capital letters and my own notes are in brackets):
–'I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t see.' -- 'breath' should be 'breathe' ('breath' is pronounced as 'bre-th' [a short 'e' like in 'mess'] and 'breathe' is pronounced as 'bree-th' [a long 'e' as in 'meet']).
–'But the ropes which bound me held tighter, I was still sinking.' -- This should be: 'But the ropes THAT bound me held tighter; (semi-colon) I was still sinking.'
–'A small room with a low roof, the plaster on the walls were peeling.' -- This should be: 'A small room with a low roof, the plaster on the walls (no 'were') peeling.'
–'A desk lay at the corner with huge amounts of paper and trash.' -- Now, I'm not the expert of the past tense of 'lie' and 'lay', so to avoid using the incorrect word I would suggest: ''A desk SAT IN the corner with huge amounts of paper and trash.'
–'I turned to my side, the rusted springs of my bed creaked.' -- This should be: 'I turned to my side, the rusted springs of my bed CREAKING.'
–'I opened the door and it creaked, it hinges had been last oiled, probably years ago.' -- should be: 'I opened the door and it creaked; (semi-colon) ITS hinges had PROBABLY been last oiled (no comma and no 'probably') years ago.'
–'The dusty floor board, creaked and groaned under my weight, the noise resounded against the plane white walls.' -- You say 'creaked' a lot in this piece. I would suggest: 'The dusty floor board (no comma) PROTESTED and groaned under my weight, the noise RESOUNDING against the PLAIN white walls.'
–'“He went out yesterday, to the sea” he sighed, and turned to look into my eyes.' -- Since you can't sigh and talk at the same time, this should be: '“He went out yesterday, to the sea.(full stop/period)” He (capital letter for 'he') sighed, and turned to look into my eyes.'
–'His lifeless eyes stared into mine, his soul was dead, my head filled with pity for him, for all of us.' -- should be: 'His lifeless eyes stared into mine; (semi-colon) his soul was dead. (full stop/period) My head filled with pity for him, for all of us.'
–'“Whose going to come, when?” I asked him.' -- 'Whose' should be 'Who’s' since 'who’s' is short for 'who is' and 'whose' is a pronoun. Also, did you mean ''“Who’s going to come (no comma) THEN?” I asked him.'?
–'I stared into the clean, black water, I had no reflection staring back at me.' -- should be: 'I stared into the clean, black water; (semi-colon) I had no reflection staring back at me.'

Well, I really enjoyed reading this short story and I hope that you'll let me know if you post anything else in the future! :) Good work!

Sat, May 8th, 2010 7:48am

Author
Reply

Thanks a lot!!! I appreciate that very very very much. I corrected all the grammar mistakes, thank you so much!
I'll try and pay attention to the grammar next time >:-\
And it was supposed to be 'Who's going to come, when?'.
I appreciate that a lot, thanks again! :-) :-) :-) :-)

Sat, May 8th, 2010 12:42pm

Noah

Very nice. It's depressing, but in the same way, a bit uplifting. Update me when you write anything else. ^_^

Sat, May 8th, 2010 3:30pm

Author
Reply

Sure, thank you. :-D

Sat, May 8th, 2010 12:51pm

Niki Tsukanami

Loved the way you described everything- the landscape, the sea, the people! I could visualize everything as I read it! Great work! I'd love to read more of your work, so keep me updated! :)

Sun, May 9th, 2010 12:00am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much!!! I will :-) :-)

Sun, May 9th, 2010 12:25pm

LuvMeOrHateMe

It was great and reaallly well
planned out if you get what I mean .. *blinks confuddledly* if you don't mind I would like you to read any of my stories but I would rather you read my newest addition Running Scared, Thanks

Mon, May 10th, 2010 12:35pm

Author
Reply

I sure will, thanks :-)

Mon, May 10th, 2010 1:03pm

Rumor

I really loved this. I'll keep an eye out for more of your writing. :D

Mon, May 10th, 2010 6:57pm

Author
Reply

Thanks a lot :-)

Mon, May 10th, 2010 1:06pm

A7XRica

This is an awesome write! Great description.

Fri, May 14th, 2010 2:00am

Author
Reply

Thanks :-) :-)

Thu, May 13th, 2010 9:14pm

Vinit Agarwal

Amazing...!!! I think it had a good ending!!!!!

Fri, May 14th, 2010 5:07am

Author
Reply

Thank you :)

Fri, May 14th, 2010 1:43pm

Risha Campbell

Very Nicely Written

Fri, May 21st, 2010 10:58pm

Author
Reply

Thanks

Tue, May 25th, 2010 8:18pm

Vampire slayer

I really liked this. It was very well done. I especialy loved the ending. great job:)

Mon, June 14th, 2010 9:09pm

Author
Reply

Thank you... :)

Mon, June 14th, 2010 9:34pm

darkman1408

not bad, not bad at all

Mon, June 21st, 2010 12:32pm

Author
Reply

Thanks ^^

Mon, June 21st, 2010 9:09pm

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