1. What do Jews and Pinocchio have in common?
A: Whenever they lie about stealing money, their noses grow bigger.
2. How do save people from a burning building?
A: You leave the minorities behind, since they aren’t real people.
3. How does Hitler like his Jews?
4. Which hotel has more occupants than anywhere else in the world?
A: The Paris Hilton
5. What do you call a pimple-faced kid with brown teeth?
A: A pepperoni pizza with burnt cheese
6. When is it appropriate to bomb a test?
A: When you’re applying for membership in the Taliban
7. Your mama’s so old that the last time she had orgasm, she created the Big Bang.
8. Your mama’s so creepy pedophiles lock their doors.
9. Over-the-phone conversation
Dimitri: Knock knock
Grant: Who’s there?
Dimitri: I want to fuck…
Grant: I want to fuck who?
Dimitri: I want to fuck you…
Grant: Oh Dimitri, do you really mean it? I’ve always dreamt about us being together and now that it’s coming true…I just…I just don’t know what to say.
Dimitri: Um…no. You cut me off before I finished. I heard you and Michelle broke up, so I was just wondering if you could give me her number.
Grant: Wait, what?
Dimitri: I want to fuck your ex, not you.
Dimitri: You’re a fucking creep.
10. Sex kinda has a story plot to it once you really think about it. Here’s a synopsis:
-The beginning starts off with you and your mate taking your clothes off.
-After that, there’s the rising action. You and your partner are doing it. You two are going at it like two extremely horny, sweaty jackhammers.
-Then there’s the climax.
-The falling action takes place here. You two regain your breath as you cuddle your stinky bodies together.
-Finally, the resolution. You look at her. Isn’t she beautiful? The way she snuggles her nose in your shoulder is probably the cutest thing you have ever seen. Suddenly, an overwhelming dread fills you as you realize what you have done. But it’s not that bad—at least your sister enjoyed it.
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