Auto- who gives a fuck

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Some of my teenage years.

Submitted: March 24, 2013

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Submitted: March 24, 2013



Welcome to the mind of the twisted minded

depression took him over, now he is blinded

from what he can remember, he was always depressed

the only pride he carried was the hair on his chest

now it all started as a sophomore in high school

where the fat were shamed and the skinned held rule

now everything was alright and cool

until he met a girl that made him drool

he tried to be cool

get her attention at school

but his so called precious jewel

thought he was just a fool

all of his life, he felt so alone

took a razor to the arm, now he's suicide prone

his pain is relieved by the flow of red

all he could hear were the demons screaming in his head

his heart feels cold and his soul was dead

he only felt pain, so his hopes were never fed


Fast forward a few months in,

life was good but let the pain begin

he was on a mission

steady fishin

in a search for himself

no one to count on, no one for help

and when he began to grow

he got broken by a hoe

his dad cheated on his mom

so now his mind is a time bomb

mom got depressed so she ran away

he punches holes in the wall, his mind was in haze

the way he forgave his father to me will never cease to amaze

even though inside growing was his silent rage

so once again he's cutting to feel better

cause no one really taught him how to deal with bad weather

his mom lost 60 pounds in a month

because his dad decided to be a fucking little cunt

now his mom is behind closed doors steady crying

her boy listens to the cries so his heart is steady dying

now he thinks about going for a toke

and slitting his father's fucking throat


Lets hop again to a few months up

though he found a girl that could lift his soul up

there must have been to much rum in his cup

wake up and stop listening to your fucking nuts

he thought "oh, shes all I'll ever need"

but shes the reason he's fucking up and smoking weed

he got cheated on but he always stayed

always in the game, always fucking played

he was too fat to even get fucking laid

so he smoked good just to fade away

he met a girl, her name was Mary Jane

she was the only one who knew how to cope with the pain

her love to him was as sweet as sugarcane

but since she was always around, life began to fade

he left his girl for her

you think he left happy you infer?

no, he returned with regret on his mind

when she left him for someone, his rage made him blind

now he's up, crying and thinking

he just can't stop, cutting and drinking

his life is over, but he didn't know he was sprung

he  didn't realize that his life hadn't been done

that he could grow strong and the war wasn't won

so he splits his arm open

his tears keep him choking

he passes out, with his arm still bleeding

his parents walk in as his life was depleting

they run in, try to close the opening

their son will soon die from alcohol poisoning


Wake up, dazed up at the hospital, doped and confused

asking "why can't i just be hanging from a noose"

woke up still crying, still feeling high

looks to his parents and admits he just wants to die

he couldn't take his miserable life

always home, always alone, thinking of life

still fat, still unwanted, holding his knife

his arm slit, it seems fit, let the blood rain

that's the only way he knew to release the pain

until he decided, I'm done being a lame

but what he didn't know is that this move would make him insane

he only had one thing in mind and that was stunting

he started doing drugs and had a desire for money

so he started selling that which he consumed

everyone knew what's up when he walked in the room

he continued while he fed his imminent doom

it was roll up, spark up, and smoke the fumes

without knowing, his ego started taking over

thought he was hot like a super nova

thought that the girls and the drugs would never end

so he ended up fucking the ex of his best friend

that was the end

his position he couldn't defend

he ended up losing one of his closest friends

his friend, the one who helped him make it through

you had no self control, you made a bad move

he wants him back so badly, cause now hes a stranger

his friend was the only one there when his life was in danger

he doesn't know how to deal with the things he's been dealt

so now his only comfort are the voices from hell

yea, deja vu, does this ring a bell?

he's back to the insanity that consumed him the first time

yet all he can say is "trust me, I'm fine"

he's all out of hope

so he turned to the dope

his grades started to drop like a slope

you asked him if he knew where he was going, he would respond with a simple "nope"

he was stuck

his motivation really sucked

so now his life is fucked

In his head, the devil enjoyed to mock

his head became for demons, a dock

the worst part is, he doesn't know how to make it stop

so to this day

he hopes and prays

that God would come down with a knife

to end his miserable life.




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