I let the nights sharp air infuse my lungs with the tang of freedom. You'd think I'd be upset, hopelessly blanketed in a dark aura of depression. I guess that something inside me knew that tonight was my last . These moments were to be the last moments I'd ever have control over; these would be the moments I was going to have to hold on to for the rest of my life....... You'd think I'd be upset . I wasn't.
I felt. I just stood there and felt the cool rain dribble from the hazy night sky. First it was a light pitter patter, the annoying sort that does nothing but get you soaked. Several breaths passed. Sweaty droplets glided then swirled round into the tiny rim of my mouth; the droplets then proceeded to antagonise my lips, making me thirst for more. Normally the thirst would have annoyed me but not tonight. Tonight was different. After another round of several breaths the rain increased. The light pitter patter had been replaced by a constant drumming; the clouds to relaxed and let go of all the tension, leaving it to plummet to the earth. I stood there my t-shirt flapping in the billowing wind, my arms were open, my palms positioned towards the heavens; I'd turned my face up towards the sky too.
There were only a few stars visible that night. They were tiny, like baby gems passionately placed by the nights artist. I was going to miss the stars.
Then I felt it, a tiny, pipet sized droplet of despair rising up from one of the unknown creveses in my soul. It was surprising how even after all this time I still didn't know how deep my soul could stretch. I shook the despair away. it was better that way. I muted my thoughts.
The rain sprayed across me face it concealed me in an opal blanket. Soon the rain went to work on my pores of my face, swishing through my bodys barriers, drowning my insides. I simmered down.
I gasped in sharp, humid breaths. I felt my whole body contract on every inhale and relax on every exhale. I rooted my feet into the ground, praying to whoever would listen, that this feeling would never die. I allowed myself to gaze at the moon; an out of reach treasure. Even more so, I allowed myself to get drawn into the revitalising,alien state the moon's haze carried.
Through the cars almost perfectly blacked out windows I saw a twitch. It was time to go. I guess I had read to many stories when i was a little girl. I just couldn't help looking out into the horizon in faint hope that my Knight in shinning armour would be there and would take me home. I was being stupid. I had never found them before so why now ?.
I whispered goodbye to the moon and the stars. The earth whispered back through the wind. I'd never forget this night. I looked up one more this time letting the wind fill the crevices of my eyes, nose and mouth. I let go of the sensation of freedom that had filled my lungs. As if the elements had heard the echoing beat of my heart, the wind picked up the rain came swimming down harder and harder. I stood there allowing the elements to kiss me good bye. I swivelled my heels on the slippery grass, soaking up the dampness that was through my canvas shoes and turned towards the car. After several strides i reached the car and opened the sleek black door. Before I entered i snuck just one glance out to the patch I'd previously been wallowing in. My heart sunk in disbelief......my hero wasn't coming . I entered the car. Without a single tear in my eye.
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