FANTASY ART WOMEN

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Are women depicted correctly in Fantasy Art. Consider my questions.

Fantasy Art Women By Anthony J. Coval Jr.

We have all seen them. fantasy art depictions of women of impossibly voluptuous physique, briefly clad, if at all, with thighs and calves that Arnold Schwarzenegger could only hope for in his wildest dreams.

Not the current Arnold ladies, pasty white with visible cellulite…picture Arnold in his prime, with his physique, especially his calves and thighs melded onto a woman. Or visit a woman’s weight lifting page on the internet...you’ll get the idea.

She is wearing an impossibly tiny leather or fur bikini brief, a sturdy metal studded leather bra to restrain...her upper anatomy from escaping…with leather straps we all know are insufficient to the task. {Possibly by design, once they ‘break loose’ a normally hidden part of the man’s physique becomes targetable?} Think about it and stop snickering..

She has a huge scimitar type sword at her side or possibly in her hands. She is accompanied by a pack of slavering red eyed wolves who we must assume are her friends, but perhaps ominously so, as we shall see.

I am a male…checked just this morning… yep! Still there! Who grew up in an age where our choices of gender were decidedly few. {Eat your hearts out gender fluids, I hope you figure it out, the sooner the better}

But I am getting off subject aren’t I?

I realize Fantasy Art as a Genre is soft porn, as opposed to the currently popular gynecological porn.

But I have questions and suspicions.

Putting on a leather brass studded bra has to be a chilling experience in colder climates where most of the scenarios seem to be depicted.

I suspect fur bikini briefs, knee high fur leggings, and potentially fur trimmed metal studded bras have more occupants than just the girl. Guesses anyone?

Fleas, ticks, chiggers, body lice, crotch critters, yeast infections…my guess.

Can fur be washed? Does it retain body odor? Is dry cleaning available in these depicted worlds? Does she have more than one outfit?

If not, I suspect we should stay with visual soft porn and not imagine olfactory soft porn.

Wielding a sword with 40 DD’s even restrained by metal studded leather, has to have it’s complications. It could also be possibly abrasive to the upper anatomy.

I would also assume the ‘twang’ of a bowstring {if she is so equipped} makes using the weapon often, inadvisable. Unless they, like the mythical Amazons had one breast removed for the sole purpose of not suffering the impact of the bowstring.

Seems like really radical solution. Removing a breast for such a purpose…

My memory recalls no such depictions of single breasted women with canine and/or dragon companions, but the Fantasy Genre is gargantuan so I might have missed that particular one.

And lastly I have to question her relationship with the pack of accompanying, red eyed, slavering wolves.

Having a chihuahua attempting intimacy with your leg during your monthly cycle is quite annoying, red eyed amorous wolves seems quite another but, let us not go there…

Ok! I know I’ve crossed some sort of line, if any lines are left intact now-a-days. I’ll take myself back to my personal fortress of solitude at the facility, no need to call the guards… **************************************************

{Author’s note: Writing this bit of intended humor actually gave birth to another story that I will post soon…stay tuned}

There will be a prize for whichever of my fans…

{mumbled conversation in the background}

“I have no fans? What the heck kind of publicist are you?”

“I’m not your publicist, I am simply another voice in your head.”

“Shush yourself, the Doctor won’t let us out of this Sanitarium till there is only one voice in my head.”

“Then we are doomed to stay here for all eternity. Do you have any idea how many of us are in here?”

“Er…last census was 70 or so, who would admit their existence, but there was a ridiculously high error factor.”

“Quiet everybody! Nurse Calabash is sneaking down the hall…”

{In a chorus…}

“Goodnight Nurse Calabash… wherever you are.”


Submitted: April 13, 2022

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