Down

Reads: 416  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 3

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Sometimes the only way to go is down.

Down.

 

Down, down

Into the deep

To the bottom of the sea.

 

Clown, clown

You all laugh

And turn your backs on me.

 

Frown, frown

What did I do?

I really just can't see.

 

Thrown, thrown

You hurled them off

Threw my feelings back at me.

 

Blown, blown

That's what's become

Of the future that I see.

 

Drown, drown

Weighted right down

That's all that's left for me.


Submitted: June 14, 2016

© Copyright 2021 hullabaloo22. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Melancholic Wisdom

I really enjoyed this. I loved how each stanza started out with a word ending with the "wn" words, it made the flow really really nice and clean. I loved how the whole thing is structured. As far as the actual content goes, this reminds me of someone who is already pretty distressed and is going through even more by being betrayed. With the drowning potentially smybolizing literal death or a type of drowning in loneliness or sadness. A very short and sweet poem. Nice job :D

Wed, June 15th, 2016 5:39am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for your review. I wanted to keep the structure really simple so as to portray a simple choice -- isolate yourself or risk going down. To trust someone is to give them immense power over you -- this is something that features in a lot of my writing and no doubt always will.
Thanks again, Hully.

Wed, June 15th, 2016 6:43am

EternallyHope

It's a very sad truth that lots of people don't see, don't choose to see. It's when people realize and acknowledge it that it makes a difference.

Sat, June 18th, 2016 10:30am

r futrell

I like this poem, and can relate.

Sat, November 17th, 2018 2:14am

Author
Reply

Thanks for giving this a read, r. Sorry that you can relate to it, sometimes it seems an endless struggle to reach the surface, let alone break through it to tread the water.

Sat, November 17th, 2018 12:39am

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