The Girl On The Subway

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: The Imaginarium

Featured Review on this writing by Jeff Bezaire

Cover designed by Booksie's very own Markie Bee




The Girl On The Subway

Mitch often wondered if it would have happened at all if they’d not been so tanked up on alcohol. So their drinking session was born from disappointment. They’d been all wound up, ready for the match and hyped in to a supporting frenzy, only to find at the last possible moment, that the game was cancelled.

They’d travelled all the way there. Just getting there was no small expense, but it would have been worth it to give The Devils a bit of extra rowdy support. Instead, they ended up in enemy team territory, all kitted out in the rivals colors; what else was there to do but to drink and get a bit mouthy. Too meek and they’d have been bully-fodder for the other supporters and there was no way the five of them would do that.

Gareth was the leader, always was and always would be. He was just one of those individuals who saw an opportunity and took control. At least, control in the way he saw it. And he was the most drunk of the lot of them. He was almost spoiling for a fight, along with Ken and Phil. Dan, like Mitch, had not gone quite so mad with the drinking; neither of them wanted to become involved in a big bust-up, and when things began getting heated, had led the other three out on to the street.

What d’you want to do that for?” complained Ken.

The train!” Mitch pointed at the time displayed on his phone. “If we don’t get a move on we’re gonna miss it. Don’t know about you but I’m not in the mood for spending the night on the streets here.”

Gareth strangely put up no argument, just went off in the direction of the tube station, loudly proclaiming the good points of The Devils. Both Dan and Mitch let them get on with it when both Ken and Phil joined in.

There were plenty of disgusted looks aimed their way which only seemed to act as more of an encouragement than anything else. No one confronted them. Mitch thought how things might have worked out differently if they had.

The subway trains would be fewer now at this late hour; the ones that stopped at the station even less. But there would be no guards, no ticket office; a leap over the barrier and a free ride would be theirs.

They all went yelling and tumbling down the escalators. Five voices raised in drunken laughter as first one pushed into another, then the other pushed back. The platform when they reached it was dimly lit. At first it had appeared that they were the only people there. As a train came hurtling through the station without even slowing, they noticed her. Gareth got the first glimpse, nudged Ken and Phil. Even then, Mitch had had a sense of foreboding which only became stronger when the three of them sauntered off towards her. Dan and Mitch had exchanged wary glances, then followed at a bit of a distance.

She couldn’t have been very old, the girl. No more than eighteen at the most, probably younger, Mitch had guessed. She tried to ignore the approaching group, just kept staring ahead. Gareth was only going to see that as a challenge; even sober he thought no female could ignore his charms and drunk he was ten times worse.

He walked right up to her, leaned forward to look in her face. Too far back to hear the words, Mitch could make a pretty strong guess at them judging by the slow and deliberate way Gareth licked his lips. Ken approached from her left and Phil from her right. The girl, whoever she was, just stared at the ground in front of her.

Come on, lads,” Dan had called out. “Leave the girl alone. She just wants to get home like the rest of us.”

Nah! I don’t think so.” Gareth reached out and grabbed her. “She knows that she wants a good time really.”

Get off me,” she snapped, and Gareth took that as a signal to start hugging and fondling. Mitch and Dan stepped forward but they were too far. Phil and Ken were in on the act.

The train seemed to come from nowhere, going too fast to be stopping again. Did she step forward, trip, or was she pushed? It all happened way too fast for Mitch to tell. What ever happened, she fell from the platform, went under the train....there was no way that she could have survived.

Shit!” That was Gareth’s one-word reaction.

She jumped!” said Ken. “Probably was already planning it.”

Yeah, trust us to come across a suicide.” Phil’s words sealed the story that they were going to go with.

Dan might have believed it, but not Mitch. She’d been waiting for a train, just like they were. She’d not been standing anywhere near the edge of the platform until the three guys had gone up and surrounded her. Maybe it was indirectly, but they as a group carried the responsibility for her death.

* * * *

In their favour, they did call it in. They did all make statements about how they saw a girl step from the platform directly in front of the tube train. No mention was made about Gareth’s drunken approach, or of Phil and Ken joining him, crowding her and jostling her. Mitch wanted to mention it, wanted to say it was at least partly their fault that the girl was dead. He didn't though, did he; he kept his thoughts to himself.

That incident changed everything. The group kind of fell apart, with Gareth, Ken and Phil sticking together and Dan and Mitch going their own way. Mitch never went back to that station again and as far as he knew, none of the others did either.

It must have been a couple of months later, maybe more, when Mitch heard of Gareth’s accident. The driver of the truck swore that he looked as though he had been pushed directly in the vehicle’s path. He’d been paying attention, slammed on his brakes, but there was not enough time or distance for him to slow down. Gareth, just like the girl, never stood a chance.

Dan told Mitch. He’d heard it from Phil. They all seemed to be treating it as nothing more than a strange accident; after all, he did still like a lot more alcohol than was good for him. Mitch, himself, was not so sure, and his sense of unease only increased when Ken had a fatal accident at work.

He was a builder by trade, was working on installing roof beams when he fell, landing inside the house he was building and breaking his neck. His death was instant, a work-related tragedy. One of the builders that worked with Ken swore that he saw a figure up there with him, shadowy with the sun behind it. No, he could not say if the figure was male or female, but no one else saw anyone up there. A trick of the light, that’s what it was.

What do you reckon?” Mitch asked, as he and Dan met up over a beer.

Gareth and Ken, you mean?”

Yeah, kind of strange don’t you think after....”

Dan shook his head. “Nah. Totally unconnected to each other weren’t they. Just accidents caused by carelessness. That’s what I think.”

When Phil drowned while fishing, Mitch felt a shiver run down his spine. Each of them now, that had gone around the girl, harassing her, maybe pushing her on to the track, were dead. He must have slipped, that was what the police report said. No other footprints apart from his own. And although there were skid marks, they deduced that they were caused by his feet losing their grip in the wet mud.

He met up with Dan again. Three deaths was just way too much of a coincidence, not so easy to write off as being nothing more than they appeared to be. They drank more than was usual for both of them, lost track of the time. Mitch ended up having to catch a late tube train.

He avoided the subways as much as he could. Didn’t want to be heading down on to the platform, on his own, at such a late hour. There was no one else waiting on the platform. Just like ‘that time’ it was dimly lit.

What was it that drew his attention to her? She did not move, did not speak, just stood there at the bottom of the escalators. It was her, it had to be. The dress she was wearing was identical, although her hair, tied back on the night of the ‘incident’, was now swept forward obscuring her face.

Mitch knew that there was a good chance her fate was about to become his although she still remained in the same position, made no move to approach him. She was facing him. Could she be staring at him through that curtain of hair? A train was approaching; she was bound to strike now. He braced himself for the shove but it did not come. The train passed through the station without slowing, without incident.

Mitch looked back to the escalators and she was still there. Had anyone on the train noticed her? That, he knew, he would never know. Without uttering a word she vanished. All that was left was a single long strand of hair.

Was it a warning? Would she be back? Was she saying that she knew how he had remained silent? To all these questions and more, Mitch had no answers, even when he climbed on board the next subway train and headed home.



Submitted: September 27, 2018

© Copyright 2021 hullabaloo22. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Mike S.

A nightmare 'jump or pushed,' scenario, excellent, Hull!

Thu, September 27th, 2018 6:00pm


Thanks, Mike!

Thu, September 27th, 2018 11:00am

Jeff Bezaire

Well done, Hully! A good morality tale. I don't feel the least bit sorry for those drunk dickheads; they got what was coming to them. I do feel sorry for the girl.
You created a truly believable scenario from the game to the drinking, and the jackass who thinks he's irresistible, to the mates sticking together with their cover story. It's all well done! Their fates and the explanations for their deaths are well crafted, as well. Nothing seemingly out of the ordinary until you link their connection to each other.
A thrilling ending! I wonder if she'll be back for him. He better hope she's not too vengeful. Great stuff!

Thu, September 27th, 2018 7:18pm


Thanks for that brilliant comment, Jeff. I'm glad you liked it. It's scary how often these things happen -- the attack I mean -- and more likely many more go undiscovered. I just wanted to give the victim a bit of revenge.

Thu, September 27th, 2018 12:28pm

Vance Currie

A thrilling story well told, Hully. I can't improve on Jeff's critique. You clearly put your best effort into this story. ~ Joe

Thu, September 27th, 2018 9:52pm


Thanks so much for that, Joe. Glad you enjoyed it.

Fri, September 28th, 2018 8:17am


A fine story, Hully. Gets me excited for what's to come in October!

Fri, September 28th, 2018 2:46pm


Oh, boy, Halloween! You know, right now I've got no ideas but I'll just have to get thinking. Thanks do much for giving this one a read, jaylisbeth.

Fri, September 28th, 2018 8:23am

Sue Harris

You get back what you give out! A very well written story, Hully. Only what they deserved!

Fri, September 28th, 2018 5:45pm


Thanks, Sue. This was one that almost wrote itself once the idea was there.

Fri, September 28th, 2018 10:49am

Drinks Much Soda

Give her a hug and tell her you're sorry. It's your only hope.

Fri, October 5th, 2018 11:23pm


Maybe....but you'd have to be able to get close enough! Thanks so much for giving this a read.

Sat, October 6th, 2018 2:09am

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