More Ways Than You'll Know

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
If this is how I feel, it must be love.

Submitted: June 06, 2015

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Submitted: June 06, 2015

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Love. 

Something that unites two people together for a greater purpose. 

But how do you know what it really is?

Is it just a feeling? Or maybe an emotion? How about a thought or complicated concept that no one has been able to fully grasp?

Who knows. But we all know one thing. 

When you're in love, you know it. No matter how hard you try to deny it, you definitely know it. 

Whether it be with a sport or an extracurricular or even a person; you just know.

If you are drawn to something or feel a connection with someone, typically it signifies something more than purely affection.

And so, let me tell you.

I fell in love.

And this love story is something that didn't end well. Call it what you will - a tragedy.

I fell in love with soccer. 

Ever since I was young, I had played it. But it wasn't until around third grade when I really took a liking, drive, and passion to pursue as a potential career. And I dreamed big. I wanted to be big. I wanted to be the best. And to be the best, you had to play with your heart, soul, and everything else that makes you, you.

And so I did. And as the years went by, I just fell even more in love with the game. I had great teams and even greater coaches to which I'm far beyond blessed to have been apart of. 

But, then, things took a dive.

An injury. Not not any old injury. An injury that affected my dreams and the career that I wanted and craved ever so much. 

None of the doctors knew what it was, and to this day, don't. But all I can remember were these words.

"I'm sorry, but you can't play soccer anymore."

Anymore? Such a word doesn't deserve even the slightest bit of sympathy. I dread it. It echos and plays on and on like a broken record.

My heart split in two. No, it was like I lost a part of myself. And living for two years without being able to try out for my high school team that I was so excited to try out for. That killed.

I didn't give up soccer by choice. It was choice that chose me. It's an empty feeling, you see. You lost something. And you never get to appreciate it until it's gone and out the door and never, ever seen again. Crushing, isn't it?

Why bring this up, you may ask?

Well, it's because you remind me of me. Your football is equivalent to my soccer. We both are in love with our sports. And I want you to know that no matter what, cherish it. Love it with all of your heart and everything you are. Because I know just how important it is for you, and that you're important to me. So I want to support you in every way I can. Don't let it go, like I did. Because if there's one thing I could change in my life, it would be that. Soccer took up so much of my life and it's so hard to say in words how much I truly suffered from this blow.

I won't try to sound prideful or conceited, but I was dedicated and motivated to be the best, like you. I wanted to be better than anyone else. And if I wasn't, I wanted to be working hard to achieve that. And do the risky calls and take the chances. I was much more alive and happier back then. I had a dream to become an Olympian and play on their soccer team. And do something I absolutely loved. So, through all the good and bad coaches, through all of the harsh and joyful words and phrases, through the tears and the pain, I played.

But here's the difference between you and me. 

When I gave up, it was because I was crushed and couldn't fight on.

When you gave up, you got right back up. And that's what I like about how you think; it's beautiful. I admire that. 

Wait, saying "I like how you think" is an understatement. I don't just like how you think, but I like you. Something about you just makes me feel so happy. Something about you makes me feel connected and hopeful and lively. Something I hadn't felt in a long, long time.

So, for some reason, I don't want to lose you.

But I can't stand this whole "just friends" thing. You're killing me here.

But even though nothing has yet happened between you and I, just know this.

You mean a lot to me. From the moment we met to now to wherever we'll be tomorrow.

You're unlike any guy I've ever met and I can't let you go. 

Not like I have in the past with others.

You're different. You're special. You're unique.

So, maybe you'll read this. 

And maybe you'll confront me about it.

Then, maybe you'll know, just how important you really are.

Just like how soccer meant and changed my life, in more ways than one.

You've changed my life in more ways than you'll know.

 


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