I bathe my cheeks in tears of shame
Asanother wave of nausea overcame
I look into my soul and what do I see
A frightened boy looking back at me
Years of despair and self loathing haunt
Like the school yard bully about to taunt
My life isa fast and deadly roller coaster ride
Full of ups and downs with nowhere to hide
My body hurts from years of purging hate
I am so used to opening the welcoming gate
My body is dying, slowly beyond repair
My gums and teeth and my dark thick hair
My heart is heavy with my lying and deceit
But my eating and purging I must repeat
To hide like a child deep within one self,
Is the hardest thing to keep upon the shelf!
He stares back at me from deep within my heart
And does not allow me to make a new start
The affirmation he seeks is never spoken
And the internal fight is but a token
I have tamed the beast that lives within
But with each breath it harbours sin
The belief that one day the turmoil will stop
Before I take my last breath and down I drop
I live in hope that thru me others will see
That there are no winners when you are like me!
© Copyright 2016 Ian Dawn. All rights reserved.
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