I'm Me, Not Anyone Else

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
Have you accepted yourself yet?

Submitted: June 02, 2010

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Submitted: June 02, 2010



“Who are you?” It’s a mysterious question everyone wonders about eventually. When you hear it, what do you think? Do you answer it? Do you try to, but then find you can’t? Do you even know what they’re asking? I really don’t even completely know what that question means. I kind of get it, but not too much. I guess we’re supposed to figure that out as we go through life. You don’t really know who you are until you experiment and see what you feel comfortable with and what you like and don’t like. Before when I went on my patio, I’d lay down on the bench swing and just swing slowly and rhythmically with my foot, my face buried in my hair while I listened to music that would be labeled “emo” to specifically get a depressed feeling. I’m not even sure why I did it. Maybe I wanted attention? But now I realize how dumb it was to try to make myself depressed just to follow a trend, since depression can cause so much pain. Why try to make my happiness go away?

However, it wasn’t a complete waste of time. I didn’t fail in finding who I am, I’ve learned not to find certain labels and attempt to be them. I’ll only be myself. For example, if I like something, I won’t deny it, and I won’t try to like something just because other people do. Since a new era of my life is starting, I’ve made a promise to myself: From this point on, no more worrying about what other people think of me. There’ll be no more holding back because I’m afraid of what will happen, and no more worrying about how I look. But most importantly, I’ll accept and love myself. The only person I need to please and impress is me, and I can’t do that if what I’m really doing is taking opinions from others to fit in.

It works when you are yourself, it really does. For every person that doesn’t like you and prefers to shoot profanities and insults at you, there’s always a ratio of people that love you for whom you are and respect you for that reason. I’m sure of that from the respect and love I’ve seen given to people that follow that exact idea. They don’t change for the haters, are true to themselves, and encourage people to do the same. Now, thanks to psychology concepts, I know that the reason anyone insults me is because they’re not secure with themselves and they want to make themselves appear more superior by bashing me. So I can just laugh and know I have that advantage over them, while they have no idea that their insults are a dead give-away of their own insecurities.

Before, I tended to doubt myself when others disagree with my way of thinking. Not too long ago I went shopping and saw some boots I thought looked cool. I didn’t try them on, but was admiring them on the stand. Then my sister came over and said, “Ewe, do you like those?” Immediately I felt stupid and tried to defend myself, lying to her and myself that I wasn’t actually considering them. But in truth I was, and I was hurt and confused when she expressed her opinion that ridiculed mine. So to redeem myself, I changed my opinion to hers. At least, I pretended to so I wouldn’t be thought of as dumb or having bad taste. I’ve finally stopped doing that and I am not only completely brainwashed by others’ opinions anymore.

I also used to look in the mirror and size up what I didn’t like about myself, hoping I looked different. But when I really thought about how I’d physically and permanently change my appearance, I realized that I wouldn’t really if I could. Maybe I’d make a few changes, but not the ones that identify me. Otherwise it just wouldn’t feel like me, it’d be like having a stranger looking back at me in the mirror. Sure, looks aren’t just what make us up, but having someone different stare back at me would be kind of weird and unnatural.

Everyone has something they don’t like about themselves. For instance, I used to not like being blonde and wanted my hair to be darker. Now that it’s growing out dark and brown, I miss my blond hair. When it comes down to the wire about taking something away, doubts almost always come up and you later miss what it was.

I used to be so insecure, but I’ve gradually come to accept that I am who I am. And better than accepting myself, I like myself. I used to feel ugly and annoyed whenever the first thing people noticed about me was my red—not rosy, literally red—cheeks and point it out and make fun. It seemed like loving teasing some of the time, but it still made me feel bad. But, this year two friends of mine said they likes my cheeks and how they look on me, that I wouldn’t be myself without them. That made me start to think that maybe they aren’t so bad.

I can’t change my looks. I was born this way and this is how I’ll always be, aside from the things that will change as I grow. I can put on make-up to cover my red cheeks. I can put on mascara to lengthen my eyelashes. Heck, I can even get a nose job (not like I ever plan to). But I’ll never change how my physical appearance was naturally meant to be and will continue to naturally be, and I’m okay with that.

I’ve even decided to apply this kind of thinking to other people, even if I don’t like them. Maybe I don’t like them and think they’re weird; there will always be people that think the opposite. If you think someone is strange, just keep in mind that they’re doing their own thing and everyone deserves and wants to be themselves. There is no normal in the world; it just depends on someone’s perception of the word. So if you even think someone’s strange, remember that “strange” itself is nothing more than a man-made concept.

It’s time I realized that I can’t hide away from the world and lie to myself about who I am.

Why spend life hating what you are, when all you’re doing is wasting time? From here on out, I’ll accept and love who I am, and I think everyone should too. If you hate who you are because you’ve done something horrible, change to be a better person. But don’t deny who you know you are. What’s important to realize is that you’re the only person you’ll ever be, that’s it. There’s a reason you’re you: you’re supposed to be--and stay--you. You’ll never be anyone else, so why even try to copy that girl that you’re so jealous of? You only have once chance to live this life. Live it as yourself and with as few regrets as possible. Understand that it’s okay to be you instead of someone else, because when you love yourself, people will love you too. Not only that, but you’ll be happier with yourself and your life. Making such a decision brings you out of that social box many people are still living in. Accepting yourself frees you and spices up your life. The quicker you accept yourself, the quicker your life can be lived as you.

Stop running away and make it easier for yourself. Admit it: you’re you, and no one else.

I’ve finally come to a decision on who I am. If anyone ever asks me who I am, all I have to say is a few simple words. It’s funny how those tiny words can hold such mystery and wonder, and lead to even more questions than it began with. Just what exactly are the vague words of wonder? My answer: “I’m me.” What's even more spectacular fact about that phrase?

They’ll have to get to know me before they really know what I mean.

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